We will be alright, she says
Won't we?
We will be
With a deep blue sigh
I said, knowing
But not knowing if
We will be
Ever the same
But I hope it shows in my eyes
That I haven't slept
Thoughts berating my eeriest senses
Making me numb
Leaving me number

I know it's crazy that I'm empty
And you are still here
But I did dream of having you
Why can't I dream of losing you?
Our conversations are getting shorter
Why am I not surprised
The yearning; lingering no longer
Why does it always have to end
Like this.

It started with the longing
For your attention
And then you refute
And I try again and I get it
Then comes the indifference
Shades of loving-care, laced with awws; cute
Followed almost inevitably
By nonchalantness
Calls and texts unreturned
You think I'm cheating
Quarrels; often unwarranted
Then I start making you feel you nag too much
But you do
I'm sorry I say; the sighs within the apologies;
I'm sorry, Over and again

Now we are at a ****** of sorts
And it's not the kind that's found in clouds of nines
I can't keep going like this
I can't deal with this anymore Vic
Do you want us to end this?
Do you think we could be better?
Questions; more questions
Answers you already have

Then the accusations of deception
Of lies and deception; emotional blackmailing
This is a recurring phase
But it breaks me everytime
Letting go; letting it go, you go
I mean, I already let go before I met you
But I've tried, everytime, I try
And everytime I fail
And in picking myself up to try again
I make you fall for me, then I fail again

I'm broken in shards, and it's my pieces that hurt you
And me
And I would be devastated, but I'm already damaged
I would be hurt, scarred for life
But I don't have the heart

I don't have a heart.

Can we rest on the clouds?
With the world at our feet,
Your presence is all that I need.

Can we talk for hours?
With open ears and hearts?
I don’t want to be judged for my damaged parts.

Can we make love?
With music taking lead?
I only wish to give you all of me.

Can we forget the past?
With our broken hearts and lost years?
I now know I want you...know that I care.

Can I plant my lips on yours?
With my eyes wide open?
I want to see you, feel you, with passion too potent.

And so maybe it wasn't true.
Maybe it was all just a myth I wished to be true
I misread the signals & believed every word you said
Ignored all the warning signs & your addicton
How silly of me to be blinded of the truth
To think that i loved you, oh I must have been ******.
Cause that was a just a big joke
Inlove with how you treated me, and the warmth i felt whenever by your side.
How I hated to say good bye.
And every kiss or hug just felt like I was at home. 
But that wasn't real
It was all a myth designed by my first ever intimacy
Oh how would it could have continued
How I wish it could only have been real
But it was a good lesson to Me
What you feel may not always be real
So be careful of what you let get to you .
You may not recover if the damage is deep.

Never fall for a damaged person because they'll lure you in. They'll captivate you with their mysterious past.
They'll tell you that they're broken beyond repair and then you'll make every possible effort to prove them wrong.
They'll scream, they'll yell, they'll howl, they'll yelp. . but somehow you'll become the cure for their pain.
You'll fix them up and believe that it's a permanent change. But their demons cannot be suppressed for long.
Their aura will always allure you and you'll end up being the victim.
Intentionally or unintentionally you'll fall in love with someone who feels nothing but numb.
And this vicious cycle will continue.. because now you'll become the broken person and someone else will fall in love with you.

Ravage
My heart, my soul
Steal it
And keep it for your own
Damaged
As it might be
Keep it
Far away and safe from me

Breaking into pieces and trying to super glue the parts together
Being twisted and damaged and acidic corrosion
Getting a welder's mask and tools
To melt the pieces together
And nothing is the same, forever.

The storm is brewing, the wind picking up
The lights flikkers, lightning strikes.
  
                             Anger - pain - fear - guilt
Swirling emotions: tossing & turning

At long last there is peace, but for how long, for we are merely in the eye of the storm.

The calm in my soul won't last much longer
when the storm reappears I fear for it's angers.

What damage will I leave in my wake, be it within my self or others.
For it is always those who care most that get swept up into the storm.

The boy who loves me wonders why I won't tell him I love him. I don't tell him because of you. I don't tell him that I was scared to love and you were the one who made me do it. I don't tell him that I didn't want to open my heart to you but I did because you made me believe that you would never leave. I don't explain that the reason I flinch when people get close to me is because the only touch that I can feel is yours still lingering on my skin. I don't say that before you I didn't see a future until you forced me to picture one that I wouldn't ever be able to experience. I can't tell him because I'm still choking back the tears that I held in when you walked out of my bedroom and shut the door. You got so angry that I didn't open up but once you plied me open you left. And now I'm broken like your phone apparently was the night you were with the girl that made you lose your love for me. So maybe you could do me one ******* favor, and try to explain to the boy that really does love me why I can't love him back.