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Let’s not sugarcoat it.
You didn’t protect me.
You didn’t question it.
You didn’t even blink
when she took my life
and signed it over to stone walls and locked doors.

I’ve been made permanent, Dad.
Not “just until things settle.”
Not “a term, maybe two.”
Permanent.
She made the decision.
She made the call.
And you?
You just stood there like a ******* statue,
held together with whatever spine she let you borrow.

And guess what?
You still don’t know.
Because she has been feeding you her version of reality
while threatening me into silence.

“You’ll make things worse.”
“He doesn’t need the stress.”
“You’re lucky we even—“

Shut the **** up.

I’m done being lucky to exist.
Done being silent so your wife can sleep better knowing that I’m far away,
tucked neatly into a place she doesn’t have to see.

She calls it “what’s best.”
I call it what it is:
exile
with a pretty brochure.

She erased me, Dad.
And you handed her the whiteout.  

You think you’re keeping the peace?
There’s no peace here.
There’s just you
living a lie so loud it drowns out
the sound of your daughter breaking.  

Do you know what it feels like
to be warned not to tell the truth
because you might not believe me?

Do you know how disgusting that is?
That I don’t even trust my own father
to choose me
over the woman who’s been gutting me
with fake smiles and cold silences since
I was eleven?

Let’s not pretend anymore:
You let her win.
You let her rewrite what “family” means
until I didn’t fit in the ******* sentence.

So here’s your truth:
I’m not okay.
I’m not “thriving.”
I’m surviving on scraps,
packing trauma into a dorm drawer,
waiting for someone to notice I never come home.

And since no one will say it—
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Hope the cake tastes sweet
while your real kid sits miles away
eating silence.

Hope the presents are stacked high
while I unwrap another year of being invisible.
Hope her kids call you Daddy
loud enough to drown out
what you gave up.

But when the party’s over,
and the house is clean,
and she’s sipping wine on the couch
like none of this ever happened—
I hope it hits you.
I hope my absence rots in your stomach.

Because I’m still here.
Still screaming between the lines.
Still writing you into every ******* word
because I don’t know how to make you
look at me.

So yeah.
Happy Birthday.

You got your quiet life.
And I got forgotten.
19:32pm / I bet they’re eating a chocolate cake right now
DAD
What in the world could he be doing?
Circling back and forth like a vulture.
No point in asking. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t think me dead meat, and dead meat doesn’t talk back.
alex May 25
Does it though?
because friends
have never
belittled or
cut me down
quite like you have.

Nobody has ever made me
want to jump off the edge
from pain and hurt,
yet still scream words of gratitude,
because I know
how much
you sacrificed
for me.

You may not have been perfect,
but it’s everybody’s first time
at life
and I know
even if everybody
leaves my side
you’ll still be there
because blood
runs thicker
than water.
They know how to push you down—and how to pull you back up stronger
Thomas W Case May 19
For many years,
I didn't own a
television.
I didn't want one.
The news gave me
anxiety, and most of
the movies were
horrible.
Bad actors,
terrible acting
and predictable plots.

I wasn't buying any
of it.

My Dad loved
watching movies.
He often used the word,
contrived
when summarizing them.

I remember watching
The Grapes of Wrath
with him.
After the movie, Dad talked
about leaving in his will,
a list of his ten favorite
movies for his seven kids
to watch sometime.
He wanted us to know
him better.

He forgot about it and died
a few years later.
I always thought Dad had
too much faith in mankind.
But, after watching The Grapes
of Wrath again, maybe he
didn't.
I hope we all live until
we die.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOGBCY2FM_c
Here is a link to my YouTube channel, where I read from my latest book, Sleep Always Calls. It is available on Amazon.

www.thomaswcase.com
If I died tomorrow you would be filled with regret
For how you've treated me and made me upset
Then why speak to me the way you do?
When I show nothing but respect to you
What's important?
Family or friends?
Fact you choose the latter offends
The adoration showered onto you-know-who
Makes it hard trusting your point-of-view
Your judgement clouded by superficial attraction
Everyone else gets only a fraction
Of effort you pour into her
Clear which company you'd prefer
Living for her prosperity
No matter the cost
In the end it will be worth the people you have lost
Focused on her favor
Nothing counts more
In return presented her body to explore
Lust over loyalty to those you purportedly love
At least evidence found that during *** you wear a glove
Life is short make sure your decisions aren't made with haste
Do not wait to learn until consequences are faced
Bending backwards to see her smile
In response I rarely see her go the extra mile
She spends money on you
She has dollars to spare
You reciprocate when you don't have enough to share
She has boyfriend
Couple extra on the side
You are one more in rotation
Along for the ride
She's the only girl in which I see you choose to invest
You are an option like all the rest
I maybe wrong
Looking from outside in
This my opinion that I've been holding within
I want you to have all you deserve
Not someone using for a purpose that you serve
And infatuation is making you blind
Closing off to potential romance to find
You put her needs above those longer known
Hell
You put them in front of your own
To say you are whipped putting it lightly
Have more lashes than a slave beaten nightly
When she tells you to jump you reply "how high?"
"How far?"
"How fast?"
Without inquiring why
It makes me sick witnessing how you've changed
Your body for a ventriloquist dummy has been exchanged
Every sentence spoken aloud matches her voice
You pretend as if it stems from your choice
As she is perfect and can do no harm
******* with thieves doesn't raise an alarm?
Do you think she had no clue
What Brian that loser was up to?
Then lying about when you dared to ask
You forgive her though she never took off that mask
Then when tables turn blow things out of proportion
As if both have never taken something
Whether theft or extortion
If you consider that stealing
What about CATs?
Cut off all the vehicles
Did you forget about that?
It makes zero sense
Do whatever you like
We do similar action and you pretend we're not alike
Just waiting for opportunity to take her side
Letting all their indiscretions slide
Contradictions all over every single spot I look
How can you not take into account all the **** THEY took?
I hear no difference except we were intercepted
Doesn't mean our losses should be accepted
Felt unfairly treated because Dan's vehicle damaged
Plus plethora of tools and miscellaneous items that were ravaged
The devastation inflicted upon our property
Amounts to thousand times more than the two items or three
That we grabbed believing it was trash like everything else scattered
Amidst mountains of garbage hard to tell what truly matters
Darkness floods hard when I stare at the ground
I take in the destruction evident all around
It honestly causes stomach to churn sick
Inside brain how does none of that click?
Tried explaining but obviously you don't care
Why should you?
You are not the one who should be living there
To you I'm a fly buzzing in your ear
Only opinion holding weight is Sierra's
That much clear
Her complaints push and pull incurring immediate reaction
Last thing on your love-struck mind is MY satisfaction
You don't take sentences I utter seriously
Shrug off my concerns with a wave
Don't give a **** about me
**** pottery wheel
My future habitat
Daniel's possessions
Who cares about that?!
If unimportant to her it's not meaningful to you
Nothing I do or say can change your point-of-view
You can continue being a hypocrite
Do not expect you to change
Love for you is unconditional
Unlike yours
Cannot be exchanged
Treat me however you consider justified
At least now aware of these syllables I've kept inside
Let me know when you receive ***** back
From around her neck or contained in her backpack
Wherever stashed along with dignity
I'll be happy having my dad back when you are finally free
From self-imposed servitude I'm finding you in
Until day comes I suppose she wins
I do not hate her
How could I despise her for your choice?
You're mimicking her ideas
Verbalized with your voice
And ultimately you have the power to decide
Fear of her absence reason you haven't defied
Either that or brain is fully washed clean
To disillusioned to peek through the smoke-screen
Maybe your head too far up her ***
Discombobulated inhaling noxious gas
Your idolization prevents you thinking straight
All for a person you can't even date
You put your world down just so you can pick hers up
Draining yourself in order to fill her cup
I want to see you become the best you can be
And fear you'll never achieve that if you don't listen to this plea
I'm not expecting to drop her from your life
Simply yearn for you to stop doting as if she is your wife
Hate bringing this up but Mom is surely rolling in her grave
Would beat your *** if she witnessed how you recently behave
I don't recall you being so obsessed with her
Give anything to go back in time to how things were
If she was alive I can with certainty guarantee
If she listened to both perspectives with mine she'd agree
She wouldn't in the first place allow **** to get this far
You and I too acquiescent
Why things are how they are
She would demand you step up and take a stand
Kick them out BEFORE their hoarding got out of hand
But since she bears big ***** and an alright face
Sat by while they took advantage and ruined that space
She'll never amount to half the woman mom was when she was here
Why is her name put on a pedestal and revered?
I suspect you'll never love anyone else the same way
When it came to her requests you didn't hesitate to disobey
I count on one hand the number of times I have heard
Regarding Sierra mouth breathe a negative word
It appears according to you she can do no wrong
With mom had so much trouble getting along
It ***** like betrayal watching you adore
You have the right to be happy once more
But why's that involve a girl half your age?
Is that only method you can use to turn the page?
I cannot help but doubt mom would approve
Her nagging voice in my head will never be removed
So why are you chasing some ***** around?
In mind do you not also hear that sound?
She always was suspicious of connection between you two
She's gone and it appears her suspicions were true
You may not have acted on impulses until she was dead
I feel bad for assuring her it was all in her head
She turned out being correct
A surprise
It is on her behalf that I criticize
She would also ensure you actually followed through
On promises you vowed to me too
Like when you swore I could have the other car
Go back on your word the second we start to spar
Holding leverage over head
A power trip
Threatening to cut me off
Quickly you flip
Don't make offer if it comes with contingencies
Revoking it as soon as some part of you disagrees
With something or other I do or say
Declare commitment then take it back the next day
You're supposed to support because we're family
Not only convenient or if we agree
But will be here for you no matter what
Even if a stubborn pain in the ****
Just yearned to let you know all the thoughts inside my brain
The only way I could think of to explain
No matter what love you to the end
Good will is honestly what I do intend
I miss the way things used to be
Hope that maybe this poem will help you see
I had to write heart onto paper and be real
Now you can comprehend why I feel like I feel
To my dad
1/3
A third of you want to
Play pretend, like Barbie and Ken.
Americas a dream house in a
Dreamland.

As if we aren’t all feeling the
Same fires or drowning in
the same
Waters.

We need you to
Pay attention too.
Ignorance may seem like
Bliss for now

A third of you want to
Stay uninformed
Negligence is a nod
To the oppressor to
Go on and push through

A third of you will see a
Third of us dead on the
Streets and try to weep.
To my Father Jake Mitchell, who always gets so upset when I write about my mother. Here's one for you boo thanks for the personality flaw.
Alex Apr 15
You were not a small man.
Not quiet, gentle, or humble.
I learned that early—
in the way your voice filled a room before you did,
in the way silence never meant peace,
only waiting.

I remember the sound of you coming home,
entering the front door,
and you spoke like thunder.
Your presence WAS kind of like weather-
something I couldn’t predict,
but learned to live around.

You had your storms.
And I had mine.
And maybe neither of us
ever really understood
where they began.

You didn’t always know how to be close.
I didn’t always know how to reach you.
We missed each other in small, everyday ways—
in the questions we didn’t ask,
in the silences.
There were words we couldn’t find,
spaces between us
that neither of us knew how to cross.

Still,
there were moments,
shared unexpectedly.
A softness that showed up
without warning,
and left just as quietly.
“I feel like you’re the only person on my side today.”

You didn’t always get it right.
But you tried, a lot of the time, actually.
And I see that now,
in ways I couldn’t before.
Those moments
where you were soft
were rare,
but I saw the man you wanted to be.

You made a lot of choices,
and I,
I make a lot of excuses
trying to forgive you.
Sometimes I still can’t.

I’ve grown into someone
you didn’t quite know,
but you helped shape anyway.
And I carry you—
not always easily,
but honestly.
You were not simple.
Neither is grief.
But there is love here.
Always was.
Even if it didn’t look the way we hoped.

You didn’t understand me.
Not really.
I didn’t understand you either—
not the weight you carried,
not the damage you inherited and passed on
without meaning to,
or maybe not knowing how to stop.

But
you really did love me.
In your way.
And I loved you.
In mine.

I turned out alright.
Better, even.
And sometimes I feel guilty saying that.
like surviving you is a betrayal.

You were not all bad.
You were not all good.
You were a storm I came through,
and a story I’m still learning how to tell.

And I miss you.
Even now.
Even still.
Even after everything.
I miss you in ways
I didn’t know I would.

Before you left in December,
I asked if you had advice for me.
You didn’t hesitate.
“Just take one day at a time, sweetie.”
And then, when it was time to go:
“Be careful. I love you.”

I had the longest month of my life, Dad.
I turned thirty and you didn’t turn fifty-five and I still don’t know what to do with that.
I’m just taking it one day at a time.
Kezexxe Apr 5
The love of a mother,
As she picks up her child,
After he fell,
And cleans his scrapes,
And kisses his head,
And tells him he'll be fine,
Is the same love,
Of a father,
Killing the man,
Who hurt his daughter beyond repair,
It may not be gentle,
But it is good.
Zee Apr 1
You called me darling, a name just for me,
A love so pure, as deep as the sea.
No matter how busy, you always found time,
To play, to laugh, to make life shine.

You brought me chocolates, a sweet little treat,
Never once letting me feel incomplete.
No wish was too big, no dream too far,
You moved mountains to gift me the stars.

Through sleepless nights, you held my hand,
When I was weak, you’d help me stand.
If I was hungry, you’d go without,
Your love, unwavering, beyond all doubt.

In my darkest hour, you were my light,
A guiding star burning ever so bright.
With every answer, with every care,
You made me fearless, beyond despair.

People call me strong, they don’t see,
That you were the one who built that in me.
No man, no force could bring me down,
For you made me a queen, deserving a crown.

But now you're gone, and I feel so alone,
The one love I had, the truest I've known.
The world feels empty, cold and wide,
Without you standing by my side.

Yet, deep inside, your strength remains,
In every heartbeat, in every vein.
Though I can’t see you, I know you’re near,
Whispering "darling," calm and clear.

So I’ll stand tall, though my heart may ache,
For you gave me a strength no one can take.
And when I falter, when I fall,
I’ll hear your voice—your love through all.
kokoro Mar 29
" Whenever I have to have a difficult conversation with someone or it is an important topic, I always talk to them. Lots of times I don't want too.
    You can't go back in time. It is hard to tell people difficult things. When it is appropriate you can tell her that in person. "
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