I've built a safe haven.
It's the only place that contains my pain.
The walls are tainted by the  blood of broken dreams.
Tainted by hurtful, yet blurry words that I can still hear these days.
They're tainted by a broken mind.
My safe haven has a resistant door, but no windows to let my secret be free.
Darkness likes to live in it.
My demons seem to agree with it, too.
I have a safe haven, and sometimes,
It's my only home.

You don't have to love me anymore
But I'll always love you
You'll always have someone there
A wide open pair of sliced-up arms

I used to dream of you laying on my chest
Now all that lays there is razor marks
I almost don't mind if they scar;
They can represent my pain like a crest

I'll never be able to hear of your country
Not even see the southern cross
Without remembering your eyes
I'm so broken, I can't find it in me to cut ties

And so as you move on with life
I hope you know I still wish you the best
And I know you don't believe me, but I'll be here
Dragging the next blade across my chest

I know you'll be happy
And one day, I pray I can be too
But until then
Australia still makes me think of you

tw self harm




I hear its sweet voice in my head
Making promises
Offering deals....
A little cut to calm the nerves?
That.. that sounds reasonable...
Its voice grows louder and louder
Tempting, coaxing

I don’t want it!
I’m not doing that anymore!
I won’t do it!
I try to protest

But there’s an ache in my heart
A restless, painful void
And while I know it’s not a solution
I do know it’ll release some pressure....
Make it a little easier...
maybe? maybe I’ll try... just a bit...

When did being happy become such a struggle
When did my laughter start carrying tears
When those lonely nights carried another cut
Filled with anger, regret, disgust
This man with the blank expression
Used to be a kid
With hopes and dreams
Where his only worry was a nightmare
When did my life become so miserable
Rewind the clock
Take me back to when I was 6 & felt invincible

tw self harm



Perhaps I’m starting to understand
Tonight, I want desperately
To take the blade to my skin
But only to leave a mark
A reminder
Of what’s happened today

I don’t want to go to the lake

It’s too cold
I don’t have a swimsuit
I haven’t been eating well
I don’t like swimming
I don’t like being outside
I just don’t want to

These are all my excuses
But in reality...

I don’t want to have to tell you
There are dark, fresh scars on my thigh
On my wrist as well
I don’t want you to worry
I don’t want to have to explain

there is a monster in my closet, she speaks with two mouths and keeps dents on her wrists and feet.
The monster is terrifying, she uses needle teeth to tear through the skin of lovers. Her eyes brim with tears made from glass.
And sometimes The monster gets really really sad......
The monster uses her needles and blades to rip tears of copper into snow white skin and she whispers her sweet nothings into her closet full of sin.
Now my carpet is stained with copper and static, I can't walk in my closet or The monster goes manic.