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hannah lace Dec 2015
My counselor asked me
if I’ve ever been in a committed relationship.
I began to tell him all about you
and how you won me over with a guitar
and a love song on my 16th birthday.
I informed him about how lovely your family was,
and the Sunday dinners at your grandmas house.
The more and more that I told him about you
I realized that I loved you so much,
and that love for you never went away.
Memories of you are so many,
but I know you’re happy without me.
I just wish that I wasn’t so crazy when you let me go.
I wish I would have fought a little harder and cried a little less.
I wonder if this love for you will ever leave me alone.
I am in love with you still
Cat Fiske Aug 2015
the order,
the routine,
the rules,
the reasons I want to skip class,
the reasons I do,
the reasons I get detentions,
the reasons I never show,
the schedule,
the lack of order,
the up,
the back down?
the back up then down again but across the school on top of it!
the swimming pool,
the ******* swimming pool,
the **** no I'm not swimming,
the I won't make it to math class.
the guidance office,
the guidance counselor,
the guidance counselor who says she hopes she's not taking up my time,
the period is my lunch,
the location i'm in,
the guidance office,
the problem,
the fact its every monday wednesday and friday,
the fact I may wanna eat,
the fact I wanna see my friends,
the fact you're taking my little social life away,
the bell rings,
the ring is the most joyful irritating noise I hear all day,
the fact I forgot about the freshman for a second,
the ring is the second irritating noise I hear all day.
the next class is science,
the fact your required appointment runs too long,
the fact your class is so far away,
the fact you have a minute rather than five to get there,
the fact you don't make it halfway before the bell rings,
the fact you start crying because you are late for class,
the fact your life is over,
the fact you duck into the bathroom,
the sticky doors are of no concern right now,
the bathroom stalls are all empty,
the middle one you claim and you sit,
the floor you sit, you cry, try to be silent,
the effort to breath, trying not to have a full on panic attack,
the things going on in your head,
the dread pours in,
the anxiety levels rushes in.
the thoughts poor in and spill even when its over flown,
the fact you call your mom,
the fact she gets you off the floor,
the fact she reminds you,
the fact you have to touch that sticky door,
the door you touched once before,
the hand you touch the door with you used to wipe tears with,
the sly way to open the door,
the silence you make,
the bent down head,
the quite,
the trying to act normal,
the nothings going on trip,
the way to the main office,
the fact you on the phone in the hallway,
the fact you made it to the office,
the fact the principal wants to see you,
the fact you start explaining what happened,
the schedule,
the wrongs,
the wrongs they caused,
the people they put in classes to embarrass you,
the abuse the teachers gave you,
the list rambled on and on,
the fact he yelled at you,
the fact he said you were not being respectful,
the fact this school never gave you respect,
the fact they took everything you had left,
the fact he continued to yell til the office ladys got up
the ladys got up,
the people flocked to the door,
the principal went silent,
the fact you still continued to cry,
the fact he acted as if nothing happened,
the fact he tried to say he was gonna fix it all,
the fact you both knew nothing was going to happen,
the fact you both were right,
the fact once you parted ways you were then greeted with a call down,
the fact someone sent you to the nurse,
the walk was the best part,
the pondering of what its for, allergies, medication information?
the arrival is shocking to you,
the nurse greets you and leads you,
the small room you cornered into,
the place where she asks to view you,
the places on your body like your arms,
the fact she implies other places could be searched
the next time
the fact you now know this will happen again,
the fact you having an anxiety attack,
the fact you wanted to say no,
the fact you know if you did,
the next act they'd do is send you to the hospital,
the scare tactics is not fair,
the fact you go home,
the fact you cry,
the fact you don't wanna go back to this place,
the fact they won't let you transfer,
the fact you have done all you could of done.
the fact that they still have the nerve to of ****** up your schedule.
2 events that happened to days after each other combined, so its a bit exaggerated, but it's all true things, except it happened on two different days not the same.
Mahalea Isis May 2014
I want you to be comfortable with me
To feel free in my presence
To spit what comes to mind
And not think about the sentence
And just tell me how you feel
Cause you're not made of steel
And if you were hurt before
I can help you heal

But you're not listening to me
You're barely hearing what I'm saying
Cause you're being shy and timid
And I'm the one who's paying
For whatever you don't tell me
Cause I know it had to hurt you
But you play the strong guy and I admire your virtue

I wanna hear whats in you're mind
And taste the lips of your soul
Touch the hands of your past
And smell success in ya future goals
I need to see you show me that maybe I am trusted
Cause if you don't trust me it's fine
Maybe you ain't love and just lusted

But tell me
Tell me how your emotions are acting
Cause I see through ya smile
Inside I know you're cracking
Tell me
You not letting me walk with you through the hands of time
And sharing with me the evilness that's lurking in ya mind

I wanna be able to look at you and be on the same level
Cause if we're both going to hell, we're both meeting the same devil
I ain't here to judge you
And I won't hate you for before
I understand you might be hurting
Cause I have my own sores

So I can be your friend
I can be your help
I can be support
With everything you've dealt
I can be a savior
I can be a shrink
I can be ya motivation
If you want to sink

I can be ya trust
But do you even know what trust is?
Cause I'm trying to show you how
I've learned what true love is
Therefore
Tell me about the love
Tell me about the hate
Cause you accepting yourself
That's what makes a person great.
Wrote this also while with my ex. He wasn't very good at communicating and had trust issues and all I wanted him to do was open up to me.
anonymous999 Apr 2014
i am tired of talking to adults no i do not want to see a dermatologist or a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a nurse no school counselor i am definitely not having suicidal thoughts and no doctor i do not want to talk about the results of my mental health survey. of course dr. cook i am totally open to the idea of taking an antidepressant dear god i am tired of talking to adults do not want to be diagnosed i do not want to talk about it stop worrying about me, no, 'i am not depressed,' this is my life so thank you for not making me sign a life pact but leave me alone i am not going to cry in front of another strange adult. do not diagnose me. all i want is to be normal, i am tired of the pills. i am done with talking to adults
i hope you can't relate

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