I'm glad he left me
in a Window by the Sea
See I had forgotten
to Be
Truer to Myself than he.

And now, drowning in misery,
I never seem to feel happy.
So it's a relief to stare pensively
Through this Window by the Sea,
and observe how mesmerizing
and brighter my reflection is,
Without He who stood beside Me.

Some days I wish
That I was the only seed wrought by my parents
Honestly I wonder what it would be like
To not have my older sibs

To not have to be compared to my older brothers,
Or not to be messed with and harassed at times by my sister.

I'd probably have that pair of roller skates that I'm after
I had to get at least I've joke out, forgive me master!

Somedays I wish I could take control of my life like the Sims
And see what it'd be like without my sibs

When my ex took her life,
we were both newly single.
I was out of state,
she was out of mind,
and no one thought to tell me,
because, frankly, she had already
pushed everyone away years before.
We reconnected, while she was
seeing someone, who was taking
advantage of her, as she would later
come to explain. So when I drove
to her parent's home to pick her up
she was apprehensive, but only
because that's what she had been
used to, abused too.

We sat across from each other.
She told me how the last five years
have been long, and she missed me.
I told her it was mutual, but that
might have been a lie. My mind was occupied, hers too, but by voices that
weren't her conscience.

She told me how she
hasn't had sober *** in
a very long time. She told me
that she was a slob. She told
me she had two bottles of beer in
her bag. I had a bottle of whiskey.

We drank, and talked,
and kissed, and ******.
And woke up to each
other the next morning.
I pour her a cup of coffee
before driving her home.
And after the car ride I
Told her I would talk to her
later, and I did.

Then we ended our relationship.
And I told her I would talk to her
soon, and I planned on it, but she
beat me to the punch, and knocked
all the air from my lungs.

When the sun vanishes behind a cloud
Shade sweeps in like a tide at flood
Devouring the warmth of the students
Who thought to rest in the warm golden rays
Of a winter afternoon sun.

Some things never matter
Some people never care
Some souls never wander
Some heroes never dare.

Some lips never smile
Some eyes never stare
Some love lasts for a while
Some hearts break and wear.

Some books stay with dust
Some flowers die under the rain
Some friends we can't trust
Some stories end up in vain.

Some tongues speak lies
Some smiles take away pain
Some kisses end loud cries
Some promises never remain.

Some glitters never shimmer
Some fame doesn't last a lifetime
Some sad songs forget about summer
Some writers forget about dime.

Some poems are just written
Some poems are out in the sun
Some poems are carefully hidden
Some come out when the poet's gone.

In universal terms*;
                      a thousand lifetimes come & go
                      in the blink of an eye
                                            
                ­                            I overrated the importance of my existence
                                            and now I'm chasing leaves on the breeze.
                                                         ­         
                                                       ­           
                                                     ­             perhaps                    
         one day the breeze will fail
         and the leaves will sit willingly, still;
         hungry to be examined.
                                    
                  ­                  Only (I discover)
                             I was never chasing leaves
                                 Just lost in the wind.

tell me, upon returning...

"Returning from where, I've been right here?"

...did you gasp for breath?

"I no longer fool myself into believing that breathing was ever an option,"
-thought my hand out loud
"I merely close my eyes and concede myself to the asphyxiation."

love

*"...is my darkness of eternity."