I hear them

The others

My age and

I just don't

Understand

I just don't understand it

The lingo

The music

The attitude

The emotions

I try

I really do

I swear

But I just don't

Connect

They're laughing

And they

Cry together

They love company

But I don't

Get it

They're not afraid

They're shining brightly

And I'm

Not

But maybe I am

I just shine different

Where they glow

I fail

But it seems

They make up the color in the world

At least

They do in mine

They may act...

Stupid

I will not

Deny that fact but

They're my family

I'm always going to forgive them

Even if they're loud

And don't really understand

And so

So optimistic

I love them

I have to admit

I'm jealous

Jealous of what they have

And I know

That they're envious of me sometimes too

But the difference

Between them and I

Is that they're trying

Trying hard

And I

Have not put in

As much effort into the

Same things

So when I say

To "ask them"

Even if I sound condescending

I care

And you cant

You won't

Insult them as I do because

They're my family

I'm allowed to

You're not

They know I love them

But do you?

Do you really love them as I do?

Because I can guarantee

You have not seen them

At their best

Nor at their worst

As I have

They're my younger siblings

Not Yours

And even if I don't express it

I love them to bits

So back off

*****

I'm from
Different time
A different species
Raised in a different way

Request to you, all

Don't connect with me
Connect with the words
That too, if
It touches your soul

In hybridization
Atoms
Shuffle around electrons
In orbitals
To be able to bond
With the maximum number of electrons
Of another atoms
...
Rather like the amount of effort
She takes
To connect with you

I beg for it to stop.
For a break in the chain
I am weary with empathy
But now I am free.
Benevolent.

I roam alone, until it begins again
I pace secluded, amongst my barren thoughts
I wander tender empty walls
I feel nothing.

I yearn for it all to become too much
She pulls me away from the light
Into the darkness, I beg for compassion.
I cut my ties, and dissolve these cords
And she weighs me down, malevolent.

I connect.