it feels like
two opposing forces meeting halfway
drowning you as it fills you up
until your lungs give out
pouring out all of you
feeding the earth with your anguish like raindrops

it feels like
a searing pain digging into my flesh
fire making love to my skin
there's little time left
until I implode, bursting into flames

then there will be nothing left of the paper girl

there are tangled wires
twisting around my neck
angry sparks of black and grey
blinding my eyes
as I blend into the background
fading further away

it is not darkness
that cloaks this little world
but white skies and open roads
stretching out far and beyond
this state of mental abyss

this is not the place intended for her

at least, that's what I've convinced myself
but fear continues to grow and sweep like skyscrapers
extending towards the oblivion like endless rivers
and it lingers,"maybe this is well-deserved"

there is the pungent smell
of our inevitable death
as our bones fail, bend and break
only the end means us well
because,there really is
nothing more for us to be

that's how it feels
-W.

Heart and mind
said to entwine
but far apart
set those of mine

passion and wisdom
not always hand in hand
following her, my lust's content
forbidding thoughts, I'm held at bay.

her baggage is much
but the suitcase shines so brilliantly
my heart's temptations flare
the mind does not care.

chasing her down
the ever growing hall
practicality keeping me slow
desperation hoping she'll fall.

I find my self struggling
to balance out the two
a decision needs to be made
so many options that are so few.

Torn inside, my yin and yang.
the impossible choice I cannot make
as like always,
it is time for me to wake.

hold my hands
then twist them
kiss my lips
and rip them
hug me close
break my bones
dont tell me no
just make me go

Sweet chirps come from the trees
Small warbles of the animals echo around me
As I stare at the grass
Which is stained in scarlet.

Your body body lies still
Frozen in ice.
Your eyes never opening.

I wish I could turn back time
To when you stood by my side
Smiling that goofy grin
With your dimples pinching your cheeks.

Nothing would make me happier
than if I were purely selfless,
but then I'd be happiest
and I'd have only served myself.

You watch white people become millionaires
By spinning a wheel and guessing words
Is that entertaining for you?
Because you don't forget who you are
No matter how many of these people you see
You don't forget who you are
But I do
I forget who I am
In fact, I forget so well
that it's as if I never even knew in the first place
It's like being strapped
into a self-driving car
and you have no idea where it's taking you
Like my life is a wheel of fortune
and misfortune
Spinning around the blue

Void of emotion,
fake smiles ever so slowly become my nature.
Bones to pick, pick and pick away
leaving my wall nothing more than a pile of rubble.
tick
Conflicting thoughts
flicker and flutter searching for a way out.
Anger , hurt and melancholy
merge in the pit of my stomach and out comes anxiety.
tick
Laughter?
Who’s that?
Happiness?
A headstone to mark its existence.
tick
Enduringly awaiting
  the ...
   final ...
                  tick.

Who is that man really?
He is this person now, that person later
Personality changing, when company changes.
Does he know his own true face?
Truly he is a ghost to those around him
A ghost to those who want him
Truly a ghost in his own mind.