Hypocrite.
Bipolar.
Soul destroying.
One rule for you, another for me.
***. Kettle. Black.

The words I wish I had the courage to say when you carve away at my soul one word at a time.

Sometimes I feel like I'm so complicated
I can't even figure myself out
and other times
I feel so basic it is obvious.

Darling , you know, you know
The tears inside me burns like fire
Though I promised you not to cry
Even though you've told me to be myself
Although you don't understand how difficult things are

Though I am strong
I've walked through a thousand forests in complete darkness
And I am still standing up

I gave up everything for you

My darling, my darling, I want to hold you and stroke through your soft hair
While you stab me with the knife a thousand times in my heart
Darling, I'll do everything for you

My life is so pathetic and complicated
But I'll continue to smile on the outside
While the tears and grief eats up my insides

Darling, my lovely, darling, I'm yours forever

You stretched your arm forward
and held out your hand
I tore out my heart
gave it over and waited
for you to tear it apart

._   ._   ._  

But you took it
and placed it on your sleeve
although I hoped that maybe
you could hide it in a safe
and take care of it for me

._   ._   ._  

And so there it stays
my exposed, beating heart
you wear it on your sleeve
vulnerable  ._   ._   ._  
and you take it with you whenever you leave.

a night, one warm summer evening
strong lyrics, songs we listen to,
thinking about each other, not wanting to admit it

one touch, one kiss
a lots of alcohol, no judgment, candid talks
not wanting to change, afraid to loose it all

hard, dark, twisted life
pain and sorrow, kind smiles and honesty
fear, terror, panic attacks

us, in a little box, far away for life
warm and cozy, alone, safe
on one's own and cold, sad then tired

Your eyes meet mine
They say mine
Like an anchor burying into my cornea
A window to your heart
You’re mine; I’m yours
But
Mine means
Rewriting
Undoing
Replacing
Replanting
****, I wish the eyes could talk

I was staring at the stars,
I could see my shattered dreams,
I walk alone, a lonely path,
Making my way through all the screams.....
I have changed
I washed my sins
I regret
My whole world spins
I wanna turn back time to make things right,
To the start, where it all begins.

Going ten years back,
It was raining that whole day,
You were piercing through the crowd,
When you stumbled upon my way.....
You were in hurry
You were late
You were sprinting
Towards the closing gate
You were a transfer student, we were in the same class,
I still wonder, if our meeting was a frail fate.

I hope after all these years,
I could feel that warmth again,
Today we're meeting, can you hear the thunder?
It's raining, yes it feels like the same rain.....
I am incomplete
I've lost my beat
I'll win you back
Today's gotta be it
I finally see it, your shadow towards me it's heading,
I am determined I am calm, I see you're still beautiful you're still warm,
All these years we were apart, our lives deteriorating.....
For us both I'll make it count, I promise it'll be worth the waiting.

when i left my house this morning
it was raining, no, storming
i ran to my car in a hurried sprint
trying to make it to shelter before i
got drenched in the down pour

as i sat in the drivers seat
i thought to myself
about how much i loved this weather
that i loved how miserable it was
the dark clouds
the lingering dampness
the possibility of danger because of it

and then i had a realization

how come when its thunder storming i dash for shelter
but when you create a thunderstorm i stand right in the middle?

- Leah