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The new girl usually kept to herself,
chose to be alone,
A few would approach her but wouldn't get too far.
She did all she could to stay low key and unknown,
At least that's how it normally was from the start.

Dressed in her favorite attire of velvet, leather, burgandy and long black boots.
Secluding herself in her throne of never ending isolation at the corner of the room.

She only had one goal in mind,
one indecisive boy she was after,
So certain that he was the answer...

Longing and hoping for the hesitant boy with unclear intentions,
to realize he didn't need to fear the love she had for him, without question.

She stayed stuck, glued to her phone
Day after day,
As if her life solely depended on any interaction made.
Every moment she would replay.
He was fuel filling her heart with more than what she couldn't have ever began to imagine was real to ever possibly feel.

Even when what he gave her was nothing more than a few rare simple nothings.
She would do just about anything if it meant he would stay.

Even if it meant not telling him how she felt
In order to remain as close to him as possible in fear of being pushed away...

She loved staying in her own world,
But she couldn't stay in that world forever.
She inevitably had to return right back into reality and face what her situation was in front of her.

Afraid of her new surroundings she'd never interact,
Many people come and go as they always do,
Wondering when she could somehow ever adapt,
She realized she may have spoken too soon...

A girl with a gentle yet sad aura about her,
along with a sad pair of lifeless deadened eyes...
Only revealing that both were longing for something similar.
Just like the girl she found herself gravitating towards this time...
Special poem I decided to write this morning after being off of this site for years it seems.

Are you there?
Where'd you go?

To reply,
To those.

Do they truly care?
Well I don't know.

It's all in my mind,
Even if that is so,

I don't feel motivated,
To confide,
Nor to disclose...
Annoyed by people who don't understand how I feel.
Like Father Like daughter.
But she did not like her mother,

Nor did her father.
Nonetheless they had each other.

To her, he was her only friend,
Because he tried to make her days
a little more better.

On weekends she would be released from jail,
He was always the reason behind her bail.

Finally enjoying the taste of freedom,
Smiling and overjoyed, the pain was numbed.

Driving around in that small town,
Surviving from being bound down.

Those only moments she was ever happy,
Mostly Broken inside she wanted to flee.

Though little did she know,

That's how he felt also...
I miss you dad... Thank-you for everything.
The girl who was never seen,
During school throughout her teens.

Lonely longing for a connection,
Only loving was her obsession.

Any show of slightest act of ordinary kindness,

Made her glow with brightness, distracting her with temporary blindness.

Overwhelmed and grateful,

Though deep down, she knew strong emotions like these can lead to feeling,

So compelled and painful...

Again being used to occurrences of blissful happiness,
In the end she sees disappearances, feeling fearful and never ending resentment.

Bliss only to last for what feels like a few minutes,
She's living in the past clinging to what she misses.

As she grew tired of this cycle and all,
She often knew prior before the final result.

not wanting to go through those days of watching those walk away anymore;
She did less talking,
irritated by their knocking, she ignores.

Thoughts filling her with doubt,
She closes the door shutting them out...
Stop ******* trying to talk to me. I'm tired
Everyday is the same,
Sitting here all alone,
While you play your ******* videogames.
I'm on my phone,
Each day while I wait,
Is anything ever gonna change?

We may not have much money,
but attention & communication doesn't cost a thing baby,
I only ask for your time, but I guess watching all those zombies dying from your shots is alot more entertaining.
Sitting by on my phone typing this...
I continue loving you from a distance,
That one chance you had, you missed it.

You lit the flame, I ignited it, so I'm the one who's to blame.

I let you in, tried to open you up, while knowing what I was getting involved in...

You cut me off when I needed you most, tried to warm your heart, when I saw you were cold,
we've grown so close became vulnerable.

"I should have known."

Now I'm here, with my heart strings bleeding , because you cut them by leaving.

Right when I needed...
I pleaded...
But you're cowardly conceited...

You're afraid of love,
I can see it in your eyes,
"Don't look away."
No need to masquerade,
I see it through your cold disguise,
"Please be brave."
I know you want it,
you're suppressing it like I.

A part of me already knew you would do something like this...
I didn't want to believe that it was true.
Why would you start pretending I never existed?
"Just like I predicted."
You dismissed it,
Instead of trying to fix this.
Old song I wrote several months ago...
I hate waiting,
but I'm the one who's always late.

I hate talking to people,
yet I often have the most to say.

I hate being ignored,
but want others to go away.

I hate feeling neglected,
though I forget those around me by letting my thoughts lead me astray...

I hate clingy people,
yet I find myself obsessing over you everyday.

I hate it when others try to get close to me, however, I continue to dream of having the chance to be close to you;
wishing that you'd stay...
2:30am thoughts...

— The End —