I didn’t plan it
Still a thought emerged
The seas opened
And the skies roared
The ship rocked
And an island emerged
An invite was extended
Making acceptance more tempting
Wonder if you would be mad
Confused, angry or sad
Impulsive it may be
But chronic it always was
Sometimes it’s probably easier to give in
A painless route, an undemanding path
Just need to turn the steering wheel fast  
Yet, I want a link to you
You are my invisible life vest
My anchor when the sea is violent
However, I fear that one day I’ll break free
I dread one day I’ll leave you behind and
I guess that’s what’s makes it interesting.
I'm anxious of my will to escape
My temptation to run far far away
I guess I'll just hold on tight for now
And pray for a silver lining to make its way somehow

I get stuck too,
because
sometimes
I wonder
what to say
when I
myself have not finished my waiting,
my obsessions, my doubt, ...
and when I finish it,
how will I be able to advise you?

How I can be sure?

When, still, all my obsessions
and commitments
go hand in hand.

I don't know,

Honestly,

Sometimes,

If these words are not superfluous,
Forgive me for announcing you
That you have your own life,
Wait for it!
As she waited for you …

Could I go after you
when so much is here
waiting for me?

This terrible freedom
pulls me;
the comfort of shackles
holds me
no longer am I trapped,
so where,
then, will I go now?

Ang bawat salitang bibitawa’y
Mistulang mga butil ng ulan.
Dahan-dahang tutuksuhin ang damdaming
Hindi mawari kung saan nga ba lulugar.

At unti-unting magtatago at maglalaho,
Gaya ng mga imahe sa panaginip
Na minsa’y nagigising na lamang --
Kupas na ang mga alaala.

Naglaho at nagbago,
Tulad ng gabing mapanlinlang.
Tulad ng pag-aalinlangan
Kung bubuhos na ba ang unang patak ng ulan
O mananatili’t makapaghihintay
Kung sino ang taya; kung sino ang handa na.

Hindi ko lubos maisip
Na ang tadhana pala ay may katapusan,
At ito’y matagal nang dumaong
Sa kawalan ng tiwala.

At gaya ng mapanuksong dahong
Sumasalo sa luha ng langit,
Siya rin pala'y bibigay at mapapagod --
Mapapagod at lilihis hanggang pangako'y mapako.

Naubusan ang bawat katauhan
Ng sandatang  mas masakit pa sa ligaw na bala.
Hindi na rin nila naggawang humanap ng paraan
Para likumin ang minsang mga butil
Na ngayo'y karagatan na.

Naubusan na rin ng mga salitang maibibigkas
Pero minsan din naman nilang sinambit,
Na “ako’y handa na."
Nagtuturuan at nagtutulakan,
Kung sino ba ang may sala.
Ang rosas na alaala, ngayo'y tinik na sinusuka.

Humahampas ang agos ng nakaraan
Sa mga pusong nanamlay habang naghihintay.
Marahil, napagod nga sila
O talagang naubos na ang alas
Sa kani-kanilang mga baraha.

Naulit nga lang ba ang nakaraan?
O ito ang katapusan ng kanilang sumpaan?
Pagkat minsan na ring nalumbay
Buhat sa distansyang pumagitan sa kanila
Ngunit sa pagitan ng “oo” at “hindi,”
Hindi na nila nagawang sumabay.

Ang bigat na kargo ng isa’y
Hindi na kinayang pasanin ng isa pa.
At sa sabay na pagtalikod
Ay namutawi ang poot at tampo.

Hanggang sa dulo ng sinasabi nilang “simula”
Ay naging hangganan na.
At naputol ang pulang lasong itinali nang sabay.
Sabay nga silang nangarap,
Ngunit sabay din silang naubos.

Left foot, right foot
back and forth
Faster, faster please
these issues might
CATCH UP

You can’t do this
voices whisper firmly
Stop, stop please
you can’t keep
DOING THIS

Your shoes soles
forever wearing thin
Quit, quit now
quit running scared
AND AFRAID

Be brave , face it
REALIZE it’s not
your fault
However it’s now
YOUR CHOICE

It’s days like this
I want to write
When everything comes to a halt

And I am left between the two
And I don’t know which way to go

Just need to choose
Which of the two
Will cause a bit less suffering

Meanwhile I am in between
But we know it won’t last forever

I’ll make a choice
Glancing at the other
The suffering is still here
No less, just different