This is the first time
In almost 4 years
I did not say goodnight

It feels so unnatural
And so surreal,
That for the first time
In almost 4 years

You aren't going to say it back.

I can say it
And you will say it back
But I don't want you

And I see now,
For the first time
In almost 4 years
I don't need you.

You're not the only thing in my life.

Eelgrass is stripped bare from south shores -
Once bountiful and glistening in the
October spangled winds, long before
They gathered in a silent understanding.

Instinct in formation tells them of a
Warmth beyond these waves. Tides swelling
And black necks straining. Tomorrow the shore
Is empty. The coastline weeps and waits
For leaves to fall again, in shorter days.

Rest assured that you are wanted.
At any given time and place.

Rest assured that yours is the only face that can soothe my soul.
Even if it is sick or sad or flawless and perfect.

Beauty is not a static state of seeing.
But more a fluid feeling that stays constant.

So, whatever you are is is exactly what I desire.
Whatever you look like is exactly what I want, need, long to see.

Always.

When there's moving so much
inside me, my belly, my heart
and parallel in my head

chaos everywhere
how could I be quiet?

My muscles follow slowly
because of the small balance
wheel my whole body rotates

just as the earth spins around
its axis, through elementary particles
shooting around back and forth

I am in the middle
and I don't feel the speed
united with my own storm

just movement
It's called inertia
but I call it life

It’s not a rule forever followed,
But as a rule,
I don’t write novels.
Tales told in fiction
Rely on reality for sustenance
and I don’t want to confuse you
with my world
that is always flipping,
whirling,
re-painting,
re-modeling,
and put simply,
always changing.