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eric smith May 2019
you only said what you said
because of the anonymity behind it
i stare at my screen
reading words about me
that are built for hurting
i’m not shocked to see your words
i laugh
people use humor as a way to cope
but i don’t see what’s funny
about pointing out
the insecurities
of another
my mask is slowly cracking and i’m running out of tape
once it breaks
i don’t think it can be put back together
it’s to the point
where i’m fine
with being used
my friends don’t see me
they see a tool
but i’ve longed since rusted
and my shackles are heavier
why have I let it get this bad?
snapchat has this new anon-comment feature or whatever. people are *****.
eric smith May 2019
we dont choose how we feel but we choose how we feed it
and sometimes the pain gets addictive
and we feel like we need it
i cut open my heart
pour it in my words
and i bleed it
the fields of emotion are open
and i seed it
so the highs are to the sky
and the lows are buried under
lower than where people die

on my tombstone write "i shouldve spoke up."
or something along the lines of "he had enough."
because its like no matter how much i said
it was deeper than that
if it's a dog eat dog world
than im a cat
and even though i got nine lives
my final death is where my minds at
my feelings are eating me like a fat kid at lunch time
it seems like i’m always tripping over something that ain’t mine
and i’m always tryna get over something i can’t climb
always worried about ****
wasting my own godammed time
my plates too full.
eric smith May 2019
guilt me like a cancer
manipulate me like a taurus
if i was the first verse, you’d skip to the chorus
i tape glue and sew but you’re the one who tore us
ripped me into pieces and i made myself
something new
i recognized myself
you’re lost not knowing what to do
play dumb like a pisces and lash out like a scorpio
if you’d give me up for anything
it would be half an oreo
maybe four quarters or a dollar
but you could never change
had a heart for everyone but i was never in your range
impulsive like an aires confusing like a gemini
you my day 1 and i love you turns into there cant be a you and i
you “never wanna make me cry” but can never keep your **** dry
eyes red like im high
you “never want to say goodbye” but the second things dont go your way you fly
but you could never be the bad guy?
act out like a capricorn stubborn like a leo
how you beat yourself up but wanna be everyones hero?
your double life is really a triple
i should call you trio
if ‘paid in full’ was my life you would be rico
how my own girl crossed me?
then made it my fault that she lost me?
then told everyone she tossed me?
don’t care like aquarius outted me like a libra
you beat around the bush when i made it black and white like a zebra
how i told you tell me the truth and you made up a story
you cant lie on someone who loves you
and bask in glory
i paved the way for you and you act lost like dory
and i still found you
careless like sagittarius critic like a virgo
how you tell me to “never leave” but you go?
how you use the water you drained me of to grow
you’re not who your instagram shows
i see through you, commando
you cant flex on me if you know what i know
imagine believing in horoscopes. couldn’t be me.
eric smith May 2019
feeling bold and feeling
proud
so i’ll write in silence
being loud
my word changes
perspective
without making you move your
eyes
and i want to know how to get
what i want without
telling lies
funny how one person is
my favorite hello
and most hated goodbye
same girl who made
“we” from “i”
because there is no me
without the help of others
whether it’s a friend or
even a lover
the truth always comes to light
even if you’re under
the cover
i want someone I can pour my all into.
eric smith May 2019
if i’ve learned anything
after these
long and cold
16 years
of life
it’s that
patience
is key
you can’t force
one to feel
the way
you feel
about them
and i know
you’ll be lost
and confused
it’ll hurt

you’ll wonder why
she doesn’t love
you
as much as
she does
him
“what does he have
that I don’t?”

you’re too afraid
to ask
because perception
is everything
you’ll constantly ask your self
why?
you’ll try hard
to change
just to fit their needs
but you’d be lying to them
and yourself

you’ll change
only to be left
used
utilizado como un felpudo
stepped all over

then you’ll wonder if
it was your fault
your fault for falling in love
your fault for being this way

you’re broken
and you’re tired
and every attempt you make
to change
is seen
as an act of
desperation
but i was never able
to understand
why it’s bad to be
desperate for
change
i need to stop changing for people who wouldn’t do the same for me.

— The End —