TRIGGER WARNING- ABUSE

cold, colder yet colder.
i watch as his eyes fill with rage.
from being a strong shoulder
to cry on, to being impossible to engage.

as red as blood can be,
as blue as bruises can get.
i pray and hope no one sees,
or again i'll face another threat.

if love were enough,
scars and bruises i'd ignore.
but reality is just that tough,
one day i might just turn to gore.

The mirror holds my memories. I scan my body and relive the beauty.

I see the evidence of your mouth on my skin;
I remember the sharp sting of your teeth on my *******;
The ache as your large hands squeezed my ******* until I arched up into your palms.

The bite mark on my inner thigh reminds me of how my screams sound over the hungry noises you make when your mouth devours my center.

The bruises on my hips are a record of the moment when my ride became too much and  the spasms of my ****** pulled you over the edge.

The soreness of my muscles are a testament to the fact that once will never be enough.

You leave your mark - a branding of ownership for all to see. I bask in the glow of being yours and wonder how long you will keep me this time; wonder how long before you throw me away again for something better.

03NOV2019

Biting bitten lips

Your body is inescapable and a temple all in one

Can you believe the smiles that crack the dried skin held together by saliva, courage, and mediocrity,

You lay in bed with a lead pipe feeding through your lungs

You breathe as mucus drips, a soft echo inside the metal,

Stale granola crumbs still sit upon your nose and you don’t have the energy to swat them away like flies upon rotting fruit

You’ve become too sweet, too weak

Your skin bruising without warning

You love the strange lingering pain but you wish you could tap at it with the exhausted arms at your sides

I’m sorry but you’re left to feel as big as you are, taking the space you have claimed

I know you want to feel small, but if you do that, you may not wake up

Let yourself heal in the space you are given so you can shrink when the time calls for it

I miss us.
I miss your eyes and their sparkle.
I miss the way you looked at me.
I miss the sweetness of your lips on my skin,
And the tingle your touch left even hours later.
I miss us.
I miss everything we were
Everything we could've been
Everything we had.
I miss all of it.
But I don't miss you.
I don't miss your harsh hands.
I don't miss your hateful glares
Or the burning rash your hands left on my skin even days later.
I miss us,
But I could never miss you

Falling in love is so painful
It leaves me covered in a galaxy of bruises
Just like the ones that fill his eyes and cover his heart