You made me believe in love.
You showed me my worth.
You made my horizons move.
You inspired me to go forth.

Everything was well in the beginning -
i felt that all the puzzle pieces were complete.
I was assured that his back will never be turning,
and that his love for me won't deplete.

But just like a day - everything fades to black.
The sun rises and the sun sets.
Just like his love for me - every sweet words were taken back.
Every memories were stepped on just like used cigarettes.

But who can blame him?
Who can love someone like me?
A girl who still can't complete the harmony of the hymn,
a girl trapped in darkness and still misses a piece of her own puzzle.

I lived a petrified life
frightened, and terrified
afraid to love
and not to be loved

I shut everything down
kept the door closed
my feelings hidden
and my thoughts locked-up

It was all pain
full of despair
covered with so much darkness
and a total block-out

The grief of letting go
I am losing myself
when you found yours
in another's arms.

So this is what it feels like,

To break off the chains that binds me to you

I thought there was no escape, And I had no clue

That this day would come

The day I’d gain freedom

Where colors resume their dance, and no more hues of blue.

Monotones have stopped And so did my feelings

For

You

I tried.
I promise you, I tried.
I loved you and
You told me you loved me
And I knew you did.
And because I loved you
I let you go
And I knew
You were at peace.
At least for a little bit.
You were safe.
And I was hurting
And I wanted to scream.
I wanted to set the world on fire.
But you were not in pain,
And that was all I could ever ask for.

But then he came

And he brought you back.

And it hurt you.
You were in so much pain.
I could see it in your eyes.
Feel it in my soul.
And then you were gone.
Again.
But it was not a peaceful end.
And you were gone.
Gone for good.
And he won.
The monster we made with our loss.

And then I felt myself go.
And it was okay
Because I was with you-
My Love.
You were there,
And he was there,
Waiting for me-
          I could see him.
The other half of me.
And I was gone.
And my family
          My family.
They were hurting,
But I was at peace.

I hope they knew.

stare deep into my eyes
can you see the grim reaper staring back?
do you see any form of life within the blue?
look at me, look at the state i’m in
can you see how skeletal my body has become? how frail and weak?
do you see where the exhaustion has eaten away at my skin and left purple rings under my deadly eyes?
did you ever think that you would be the reason you stared at death in the eyes?
did you ever think that this pain, this treacherous pain would all come from simple words that slid off your younger like butter?
i know your in pain to look at what you’ve unknowingly done to me
darling, you’re eyeing death up and down and staring at the grim reaper, please be polite.
after all, it’s because of your doing that you’ve been greeted by a corpse.

My best friend doesn’t like me anymore
He thinks I'm fake
He forgot I have no one to be fake for
I guess he’s not my friend now
All my other friends don't really care that much
Or I’m starting to  distance myself
I can feel that I’m starting to distance myself
I try not to care too much
It really does hurt now
Of razorblade stings, physical and not
The only ones still left are miles away
Yeah
I think they’re gone now

I sit in the rain
to drown out
the whispers
of my lonely heart.

-A

No paro de pensar

todo lo que pudo suceder,

todo lo que dejamos caer,

todo lo que pudimos ser.

Y en mi cabeza

mis visiones no tienen fin

Tus lazos me unen a ti.

Logro ver a través de ti,

porque no estás más aquí.