A grinding halt, one fragment at a time.
Up front, that fierce direction I might need
consuming days with more than air to breathe.
Instinct to catch the sun, soaking bright light
through glowing skin. The pine to step outside
and wander in a warming morning breeze.
Dark urgency to touch; desire with ease;
it slowly slips away by flawed design.

Eventually, a breath can seem a chore
when every gasp brings aching disregard.
If breathing turns to wasted life support:
who wants a working, anesthetised heart?
To force the lungs to fill and then to fall
seems criminal when lips don’t want to part.

Panic, worry, darkness closing in around me
These are some of the words that can be used to describe my anxiety
But nothing I can say could speak of its entirety
As I cry internally thinking I’ve lost my sanity

Doctors, counsellors, saying there’s something wrong with me
My parents telling me to calm down and stop being so dramatic
But how can I calm down when the world around me
Is spinning out of control and I can barely see?

Breathe. You will get through this

You will get through the sleepless nights
All the internal fights
And the days that seem right
When the world hits you with all its might

Breathe. You will get through this

I know you think I’m overreacting about the silliest little things
But to me, those silly little things seem like the doom this world could bring.
Can’t you see, a spilled glass of milk to you can seem like an earthquake to me

I know it might be hard to understand my anxiety
But I hope today I have given you some clarity

So the next time someone is scared and feels like they can’t breathe,
Shaking and crying, unable to see,
Don’t tell them they’re overreacting; don’t call them crazy
Help them realize there is more to life than this misery
And no matter the doubt inside, they will always be who they are meant to be

Breathe. You will get through this

Because I know I am more than my anxiety,
And one day I hope to be free of it entirely
But until then, I will tell myself quietly
I am stronger than this. I am stronger than my anxiety.

I wish I could breathe
Your words are crushing
Stop lying
Saying you were loving me
Some sort of love story
you've thought up in your head.
Darling you just hurt me,
soon I'll be dead.
My lungs are crippling,
crumbling like paper
Little tiny rips
in my skin with sandpaper
breaking me apart
so very slowly
this isn't love
I can tell,
because I'm so lonely.

slow mornings,
soft lights.
easy touches,
sleepless nights.

steady breaths,
messy hair.
heavy eyelids,
cool air.

side-ways smiles,
delicate skin.
hushed voices,
my morning sin.

everyday?
really!  Yes.  
choiceless.
I'm tired.
I'm sore.  
I don't want to.
Show up.
Be present,
do your best,
breathe,
wake up,
practice
and
life moves
through you
in the most
extraordinary
ways