A Rolled Sphere Weightless and Languid Bellows Your Hips Fulcrum.

It's like the crowd in a concert,
These feelings that I have for you,
They're tough to control and rackety,
They're wild and can't be underestimated,
It's simply obstreperous.

4:56am and you're breaking my reverie.
But this seems good, continue it anyway.
I want this solitary time with you.

Whilst you're annihilating my mind,
I wish to confess something,
But with denegation, I'm frightened.

We layed there silently
Gathering each other in our arms
Trying not to break each others hearts
anymore than we already had

I stared into his eyes
with a sort of wonder

"what are you looking at?"

"your eyes... They look so sad even when you smile,
I don't know how that could be."

He opened his eyes big and smiled wide
"what about now?"

We both laughed but only because
We didn't know what else to do

Then we quietly went back
To trying not to break each others hearts
But we weren't very good at that

I
Heaven is the sparkling sound of your voice,
when my thoughts are overwhelming my soul,
the past is gnawing at my bones.

II
Heaven is slow dancing with you
with your feet arched on top of my soles
to the ambient theme
of your favourite jazz song
on a cold twilight night.

III
Heaven is your warm embrace
when I’m breaking inside
bones rattling, soul quivering
when I’m breaking inside.

IV
*Heaven is a place on Earth with you.

When I think of you,
I see this imaginary person my mind has created
to make the pain easier to endure,
I see you reading my words
and writing to me,
worried or smiling,
sometimes happy, but most of the time sad.

When I think of you,
I can feel the warmth coming from your soul
even though it is full of cold darkness and full of demons in there,
when I think of you
I imagine your beautiful smile,
your voice whispering healing words,
your eyes looking into my heart,
I can see myself being in your arms and feeling safe.

When I think of you
I imagine someone who would wait for me
in a small, warm-lighted house,
at the end of a hard winter day.

When I think of you,
I see someone who would
Make soup for me when I am down and hungry.

When I think of you, it sometimes hurts
because I will never know if you are real,
I will never have the smile,
I will always have only the words.

When I think of you
I have the feeling of emptiness,
like a cold winter wind blows in my body.
I feel like my stomach clenches up in knots,
and I can't breathe or speak any more.

When I think you, it hurts so much
because I'm always down,
I'm always hungry.