Everyday I walk in the rain
The rain of tears from endless pain
Hiding the pain behind a smile
Not seen the sun in quite a while
Morning brings the rain again
Only the storm is hidden within
No cuts or bruises to show as symptoms
Everyday the internal pain beats like a drum
The only symptom is not wanting to live
From hidden pain no one can see to believe

I have no choice
I must leave
To be with god
I look down from above
I will watch you my children
Make sure you chase your dreams
I have no choice
I have to go
My body is tired
But my soul will fly

Written by
Michael Matthews

Left on the floor bleeding
Sitting in the shower crying
As a child never understanding
Waking from sleep to a beating
Bleeding from head to toe
Wanting to know where the hell you go
Leaving the house to let the abuse happen
At 5 had to protect my sister
Stop his *** abuse against her
Getting chased from the home
Being shot at wishing he was just gone
Guess you just didn't want to be alone
But what you let him do was just wrong
Left on the floor bleeding
Sitting in the shower crying
How could you let this happen

Written by
Michael Matthews

Slowly falling into the growing darkness
Trying every day to hold my memories tight
My friends of many years fading into blackness
Nothing is staying in the light
Childhood memories disappear
Will I also lose who I am
That is my biggest fear

Written by
Michael Matthews

I was told I was nothing
Everyday between the beatings
I was locked outside
Given no love besides
Mental abuse to hold me down
Making me feel like nothing but a clown
All this through out my life
Still fighting with all my might
To prove that I am enough

Written by
Michael Matthews

Why god did you take my heart
This has hurt so much its worse than being shot
Why god did you mess up life
And take her to the afterlife
Why god do you every day make me think of her
And see her at the end of every year
Why god did you take my mom
Why god why

Every night I'm reliving my past
Seeing my mental and physical abuse
My time is running out fast
It will not matter what I choose
This is the time to make my amends
For all the wrongs I have done
Before this life comes to and end
And I have to go back to where my life begun
I will lay down in my bed tonight
And know I have talked to God
So my life will be complete
And my soul will be restored.

Written by
Michael Matthews