The set of the sun, and end of the day.
The fall into night, and into its fright.
When I hold you, everything is alright.
We’ll hug through the sun, through night and through day.
And, at the end of the day, I’d have it no other way

I guess I hoped that you
Would get some sleep last night
That come the break of dawn
Things would be alright

But here we are again
And you haven’t slept a wink
Relapse is a ghastly cavern
And you’re standing on the brink

You’re smiling like a maniac
And you rattle on and on
But I was up late worrying
Forgive me if I yawn

Your eyes are open wide
Like you’ve had too much caffeine
I know where this is going
But you’ve made it three years clean

If you could just get sleep
Maybe you’d wake up okay
And these monsters that you battle
Would simply go away

I lie to myself now
Just so I can make it through
I know that you’re in pain
But don’t you know, I’m hurting too?

I know it’s not my battle
And I can’t make you see the light
But I’m so tired of the darkness
And I’m so weary from the fight

And I guess I hoped by now
That this would’ve come to pass
But since it didn’t, won’t you try
To get some sleep at last

Words go past me but I don't hear them
People wave at me but I don't see them
Thoughts run through me like a dream
with darkness following...

.... Then suddenly the world is filled with
vibrant hues of technicolor
My eyes once damp with tears dilate with the cosmic energy of the stars
All my troubles far in the distance
nothing can touch me
I feel power inside me
Why bend the knee to the arms of an angry God?
When you can pay worship to the temple of my body?
Though I am drenched with blood and sin
my heart is fragile with expectation

nobody talks about the disappointment
from letting you down
not living up to the excitement

once the mania wears off
and my frequencies begin to lower
i sink back into normalcy

my shine becomes lackluster
like fools gold
my touch only turns your skin green

eventually everyone grows tired of me

what can you do when the tides begin to strengthen
and your arms begin to weaken
your lungs begin to tighten
the light within me used to shine bright
these days the flame dwindles low
i can’t get far away
you can’t escape yourself
it seems like i won’t ever get help
like the predestined choice of failure
how can i succeed
living around so much indignation
everything I lack
is my humiliation

On the issue
Of mental stability,
I do not
Have mental
Stability

I don't understand why I keep filling the void with the things that are supposed to make me happy but I'm just not.

How? Why?

I have every reason to be grateful.
I have everything I could probably ever need now but there's a void and I can't figure out what I'm so **** ******* sad about. So empty for.

I dive deep into my being, into my heart and mind and I can't find it.

The hunger that resides in me.

Is it human?

Is that why we are basically parasites on this planet?

Constantly taking but never giving.

Where the actual **** do I belong?

Where is my home?

Where do I go?

What should I do?

No one is here to tell me now.
No one is here to tell me how.
No one is ******* here.

Alterations in perception
Leads to involuntary self-deception
Is this a dream
Is this reality
What if I am really dead
My sanity's hanging by a thread
I miss having clarity
Being able to differentiate
Am I lucid
Or delusive
I miss being able to truly say
I had a good day
At this point I'm not sure what I know to be true
I just know that I'm tired of trying to push through
And if anybody can hear me
Please help me understand
I'm lonely and scared
Can someone please
just hold my hand?