sometimes silence is that friend you haven't seen in a long time, who you need to work past that awkward, "who are we together," stage again.

I throw comments to the wind
Ignorance keeps them afloat
I no longer take to heart
******* gliding from your throat

Your words grow weak
They wear thin
Confidence becoming strong
Don the realization that
Your home is where we don't belong

Insults get scattered like leaves
Falling from bare branches
Thoughts flow from your mind
Never-ending negative avalanches

Ashes I have been buried under
Remains of each mistake
Not charred hiding places but a jail
Out which I must break

Gotta keep from accumulating
Passive movements difficult to avoid
Hit walls hardest speeding fast
Crash like earthbound asteroids

It's great you are switching directions
Patterns easy to accurately predict
Mild
Temperate
Always fair-weathered
Around us come unhitched

You loved us once..
Has that gone?
Distracted by vultures' dying food
Rumors
Carcasses of gossip they feed on
Believing tails they allude

We are doing good
We are just fine
Have a job and a roof overhead
Everybody underestimates what we can do
By 30 we'll probably be dead

I anticipated this thoughts arrival
It still doesn't feel quite real
Stuff packed in bags and boxes
Across the porch surreal

We'll take pride and possessions
Say farewell spread with awkward "ums"
Mumbling how one day soon
We will spend some time that never comes

My sister,
will never give life
to another.
Never give life
to a soul
that'd be a part of her
but not truly her own.
Never attempt
to break away
from bonds,
from the young ones
that cling to her
like rain on stone.
Until the last bell
shouts to signify
going home.
I won't,
ever relish in laughter
of chesnut locks
and curls
that aren't my own.
My brother in-law,
will never say
oh that's mine,
when asked,
"which one is yours?"
Nor call someone, my boy
or say, that's my girl.

She can be spotted half a mile away
Black clothes stand out on a sunny day
Smiles form and bad thoughts fade
Each breath she takes
Takes my breath away
I am lost for words
There is not much to say
Yet I still wish I could relive this day

Maybe I am too awkward to be a lover
It would be so easy to find another
I can only express myself in ink
But I hope this still gives you a chance to think about it

6/22/19

I committed no crime,
So why then do I run?
Maybe I’ve run out of time,
And I can’t stand to be outdone.

As I run, I leave clues,
To divert anyone who stalks.
Random things like clews,
I’ve changed basic characteristics.

Maybe I’m bad at leaving ’em, unless
The detectives are bad at reading.
But they find me nonetheless,
As I try to explain this misunderstanding.

I argue my case – innocence,
They are not convinced.
I plead guilty – acquiescence,
They pick up on the nuanced.

Why is everything backwards?
No one understands me.
Headache and confusion afterwards,
With me no one seems to agree.

But then the detective joins me,
They don’t turn me in.
I can’t grasp it, should I flee?
My emotional reserve, dried like a raisin.

You make me feel awkward
Your beauty a weapon
Rendering me speechless and helpless
I am one of the waifs and strays
Standing in the shadows
Observing the game, looking for losers
Potential friends.