I am not myself
I'm flying to the skies
I'm starring to the shelf,
I see small dice...

I see images on the clear wall
I think I heard something fall
It was someone's pen
I believe I need caffeine then.

My thoughts are very random...
I am the empress of my own kingdom.
I'll just write this down,
Cause in drowsiness, I've drown.

4/18/2019

When I feel like hanging out,
Everyone is out and about.
But when I need to get away,
They all seem to want to stay.

God bless my introversion,
Because the other way is confusion.
I dislike the way I am,
Don’t compare me to a clam!

You’ve got me wrong,
Though at times I look strong;
Inside, I’m contorted into a wince,
Praying constantly for more competence.

At the end of a long day of stress,
I sit and mull it over – attempt progress.
I wonder why I am so put-down,
Feels like I’m on the edge of breakdown.

Then I think of the days previous,
Everything becomes obvious.
I need breaks from people,
That’s always been the principle.

In the moment, it’s easy to slip up,
And think I can do this ’til sunup.
But I am weak when it all comes,
I quickly forget my problems.

I have unlimited limitations,
It’s hard to turn down invitations.
People can’t expect much from me,
But I can’t just blame my anatomy.

It seems a daily and vicious cycle
Splurge and crash, it’s becoming critical.
Balance doesn’t seem practical,
Why am I so hypocritical?

I made a new friend
She is short and sweet
She is the best
so happy we got to meet

We do everything together
We share all our secrets
Confide in each other
and embrace the uniqueness

We bonded so fast
And are both equally clumsy
We giggle at our mishaps
And our awkward tendencies

My friend has a boyfriend
She takes him everywhere
We all hang out
They make a good pair

But lately its been hard
There has been a lot of meetings
Used to have her to myself
This kinda feels like stealing

I am happy for her
I'm sure i would do the same
If i were in her position
I would surely sing his name

But I'm a single pringle
And this can make things hard
All my friends are dating
Guess i was dealt a different card

But i wish that they could know
How lonely it can feel
when you get stuck
being the third wheel

My thoughts get polluted in the short span
of time it takes them to run to my tongue.
Intent evaporates, I find myself
spewing banality with confidence.
Dubious sense of humour fails to land
a punch; I dodder past with a faux grin.
Finally it’s time to pass the baton
to another unwilling candidate.
I nod pleasantly as we continue
our dull charade of camaraderie.

Once upon a time being sociable
meant exchanging infrequent messages.
The small talk prattles on… I think about
the lost luxury of writing letters.

You came to me
white calloused soles
soft on dry Spring leaves,
skin braced against
the cool haze
now burning off.
You wore your naked skin
bravely, bearing scars
inside and out
shy, afraid
nothing left to give up
but simple approach.
I knelt, kissed your feet
falling instantly in love
with your awkward knees,
the stub of your ***,
the sinews in your shoulders.
It was this. A meeting
and the world was
not the same.