She wanted to be a poet
but she could not find words.
She wanted to love him
but she never had time.
Finally she was ready to love him
but she was a little too late.
He already found someone
and he said I do.

She was a sunrise
and I was a sunset.
She brightens up the sky, energizing the people around,
while I bring out the darkness in the night.

She was like a fire,
burning all my doubts in life.
I was a snow,
for making her feel unloved.

She was never mine,
and I was never hers.
Like day and night,
our paths never crossed.

Someday, I want to be a scientist.
I want to know more about Physics,
so I'll be able to make a parallel universe,
for those people who never got the chance to be with the person they love.


- Please be mine at least in another dimension where there's only one you and one me.

She was beautiful but
she was sad.
And I know you think this is just another
poem about a girl and it is but
I just need to tell someone about how
loved she was now that she
can’t hear me.

And I don’t think she ever could,
not when I told her I
liked her hair not when I
held her hand not even when I
kissed away the tears on her
freckled cheeks as she looked at me with
those eyes so haunting they keep me awake at night,
all her brilliance beaten and caged and it showed
whenever she smiled but I knew she was somewhere else.

And at some point she
retreated into herself,
a golden castle dark inside, a
much-touched body that had felt the caresses of
many a passing hand
now a prison of skin that
repulsed her.

And the boys still looked at her in the halls
and the men still looked in the street.
They still reached for her,
touched her but
she never felt it never even
knew how they dreamt of the feel of her phantom body
on theirs.

And it wasn’t long before
she slipped through my fingers too.
And it’s funny how I thought I knew her best,
thought I wasn’t like the rest of them
and yet I never expected the call, the message from her
crying and saying
forgive me, I
hope you can and the drop
of the receiver from her shaking hand and
where was I?
In my
car with
roses on the seat next to me and a
sad song on the radio and the
stupid thought that I alone could
make her better.

I stare into the void inside of me
Suddenly immersed into darkness
In dim light I stumble upon
Bits and pieces
The whole is disintegrating
I panic, you can see it in my eyes
I lose myself the boundary of my mind
I feel - it's tangible, covers me with a wave of
Heat or moisture or frustration, depression anger, sweat or tears
Is it me or you this time - I never know
For a moment I am lost in the speechless uncomfortable coexistence.
I feel you!
I feel you so much I cannot feel myself anymore.
Takes time to find way back into presence
Fear on one side is the root of my
Awareness, my greatest strength
Yet so difficult to explain or understand
Anxiety, the human condition
Root of self-knowledge
Worth so much more than a
Superficial word

I held my stomach tight for u in middle  of the night
tears carefully reconsidered.
I tried to reclaim my heart time and time
I only got sicker
I only got lonelier .

Memories,  on constant projection
Film strip after film strip
this foggy play, music smooth like honey, and her silhouette.
when all comes down to it
i was the silver dollar u used to play the games


Unhanded from any bodies  hands
Remove me from your embrace,
Let me dance while you linger away ...

This day is yours, it belongs to you,
Do anything that you desire to do.
Watch your favorite shows, eat your favorite food,
Do anything that puts you in a good mood.

Your friends are here to celebrate too,
This day is yours, it belongs to you.
You’ve been working too hard, you need a break,
Sit down and have another piece of cake.

Open the presents your friends have bought,
You can see they’ve given this plenty of thought.
This day is yours, it belongs to you,
So spend it joyfully with your favorite crew.

Just here to wish you Happy Birthday,
That’s really all we have to say.
And may your dreams all come true,
This day is yours, it belongs to you.

03-15-16.

never again will I look into your eyes like they are the ocean.
you're not the ******* ocean.
you were never mysterious and charming
seashells pressed against my ear only muffled the words you said, what sounded like the soothing whisper of the ocean waves, were really the tides crashing violently onto the shore.
I lay now on this beach, I wait for a storm to follow me to my spot here on the sand, but I am left dry.
I see the water steady, and you are so far gone past the horizon, that when the sun sets, your silhouette is all that appears.
perspective sets in,
and I remember how you were a poisonous creature captivating me with every lethal injection the power of your words compelled.
I remember I'm alone.
I know that it's okay.
because you are not the ocean,
you are only one of its inhabitants,
and there are so many more creatures worth diving in for,
there are so many reasons to swim deeper.

chalk outlines where I lay in the center of yet another linoleum tiled floor
brown eyes never looked so wild
& I was always told never to care for a wild thing
but you are captivating
and damaging
you take masochistic pleasure in watching me swim in this ocean of doubt you made for me
confusion sweeps me up in her arms and carries me up into the clouds, my vision blurs more so now, the fog creeps in on this island.
canopy beds snap at the sound of exotic birds buzzing in the background;
background, can't you just act like the island is deserted?
can't you just imagine their voices are further away?
we walked on soft seaweed but stepped on sea urchins along the way, and you couldn't heal both of us.
you can't always heal both of us.
sometimes the tide comes up to the palm trees and sometimes it only goes so far that we have to walk to it, meet in the middle
but all that matters is that there is still an ocean right?
would you even care if there wasn't?
would you still be doubting my every word, as if it was nothing more than the sound of sea breeze?