I am an alter ego
just a part of someone bigger.
The part that has a voice,
some sort of confidence.
The part that makes no noise,
and that isn't conscious.
I am an alter ego;
I takeover when it's right for me.
I will never be seen,
if you see the greater me.

The winds in this cosmic land so turbulent,
They blow hard feet off the ground head spinning,
Then before you relax they change direction
Drastically always, but with improved clarity of vision
At least I can see a few minutes ahead.
Why helps accept the What
And I am in it, I fly with lost birds
Insects, bits of dried flowers, teeth and shredded notes
No smoking caterpillars to give advice
No red queens to punish and control
No rabbit to fear the ending of time
Only whispers of the Hatter
Living in both of us seeking
Uncertainty of growing into magical mystery
Called your soul. I see it, saw it in your humble accidental smile,
And we will meet again when mirrors dissipate.
My brother, sister, alter ego, strange encounter
I wish you well and you can count on that.

Red toes peak out from peep-toe laced Sperries,
heels clicking the hard-tiled floor of the dance room.
The black swan stared back from its home within her mirror,
red toes peak out from peep-toe laced Sperries.
She twirled and twirled, the swan did the same.
Each day the swan came to play, chipping the polish with every dance,
until the red toes were chipped and nearly gone.

She is dead,
Now I am free;
She had a will
And her eyes on me.
Her will had strings,
But can't you see,
I tore her strings
And I broke free...

She fought me hard,
But still she fell;
She kept me in,
While I gave her hell.
I was her nightmare
She'd never tell;
As weak she was,
She loved him well.

Her will is dead,
And so is she;
The one she protected,
Is no more free--
The one she hid,
Is now exposed;
The one she loved,
Will be disposed.

It cannot be,
She shares my stage;
She cheated death,
And turned the page--
She's alive inside,
Fighting the wars I wage;
She did not die,
*She's crying in the birdcage...

Reflection in the water
Created silent ripples
Interaction with self
Or maybe the alter ego
Trying to catch a glimpse
Of the world within
If only momentarily
Mirrors gave perfection
To the reflection
Only to stay in the mind
The conflicts between
Inner and outer world
Sometimes shattered
By the truth

it's so much easier to write about her

(i see her when i stare into the mirror
she stares right back
and the viscid jealousy
seeps into my ears
and out through my eyes)

i write her up
and erase her completely
and push her out
and summon her again

i wear her skin every day
because i figure she's the one people really want to see

(sometimes i wonder
if i'm in love with her
but then i remember
the pain she dealt to me)

she's beautiful, fearless, ablaze.
and when she dances
she leaves a trail of fire so dazzling
that it moves the sky
and the preachers wonder
if the rain was brought not by their clasped hands
but rather by the thunderbird

because it's so much easier to write about her

how could I ever explain
the hiccups in my brain
(what was i just thinking)
writing 'bubblegum tongue '
degrades
the act of kissing

and I am full of carbohydrates caffeine almond milk
(vegetarian yes)
unmotivated to go vegan alone
sitting against a wall
with pink pig headphones in--my sister's I swear
reading grand hopeful endless infinite
quotes
oblivious to everything
fake
around me--I'm too preoccupied with
finding my alter-ego

                                                      ­                   was machst mich so glucklich

you can kiss
all the boys you want
pretty girl
but naproxen sodium doesn't
numb my pain
anymore than empty touch
will numb yours