I am waiting for the after life...
Not because I am sad or depressed or lonely or heart broken or even sick of this life
but because I think I will find significance there

You see, there is beauty in the darkness that has shaped our world
In all the evil, we will find an awareness that this isn't it
This has never been it
and I don't know why we fear the end as it isn't the end, not really, it is purely the foundation of something fresh

So, I am waiting for the afterlife so I can move on from the task of this life and begin the next....and then the next
For it is all worth something

I will close my eyes
and continue to love you
But forever at a distance

More often than is naught I carry the face of the villain.
Snared in this prison waiting for my turn to burn while
your fate is not so different from mine. My clocks still
yield some ticks and tocks yet before I go there stands a
few things you need to know:

They told me that your love was fatal, though failed to
hear the laughter of irony from behind their heads. They
cried tales that you were toxic and I could not save my
lips from curling. They said that your presence in mine
would design the suffering for those around. I was told
that you would leave me up in smoke as if God still
plays with dice. Your middling cigarette spends just the
beginning of their lives packing yet I waged it my
whole life just to spend its remnants with you. Addictive
by nature so let me take my pick of a million other lips
to secure truth that it is you I am addicted to.

I want you to simmer my skin when the world is cold,
I want to cast you brighter than a hundred suns hold,
I want to steal breath from your chest and place it in mine,
I want to make your heart stop like an eight-sided sign,
I want you to move my pistons and ignite my core,
I want you to saturate me as I lay on your shore,
I want to find what it is to go out with a bang,
I want to be that picture that fits in no frame.

I want to get you out of my head but you are
my song on repeat,
my hole that’s too deep,
my nights with no sleep,
my words when I speak.

Yet alas I hail from a pack known as Montague while
you bear the brand of Capulet. They will never render
us free in this life so when my time finally comes to a
burning halt, and my life flashes before my eyes, just
know that you will be the only thing I see in the next.

Today I went out in the world and I was alone
But you were in my mind as etched onto stone
And it felt like a home you were holding my hand
As we saw so many places as dreams that expand
On the stroll we saw hills rolling lush with green emeralds
And white fabled stallions wild out of their stables
You looked into my eyes and saw something that was fatal
But not in a bad way, just beautifully disabled
Vulnerability like a newborn that’s safe in my cradle
Like resurrection, a prophecy, your head held a halo
So I held you ever closely as the sun began set
We were sitting on a bench and no words needed said
As reflexes dawned onto you I was drawn
Two heart beats in sync, two lips formed a bond
And when we opened our eyes we tickled clouds in the sky
Freefalling through space, laws of physics defied
I reached into your chest and pulled both of us inside
And bound as we found a cocoon to reside
No death do we part if our life be denied
So when we break free to the heavens we will fly

For so long I thought there wasn't much left for me to learn
But oh, there is so much more
Because we never stop learning
Not even in the afterlife

she thought
Her eyes, unmoving
searched the room around her-
the ceiling, people’s heads, torsos
candles at her head and at her feet

Nearby, a child wept
She longed to reach out and comfort him
Tell him
I am still here
I am still here

But her hands remained at her side
Her hair lay flat on the pillow, her eyes glued shut
People moved in and out of the room
and she watched the dust
float across a beam of light as if in a snow globe

I am still here
I am still here

"Put the thorn in my side, the coins on my eyes
I'm not awake, I'm leaving Eden
And all her frozen charms lie cold in my arms
Panic went away and left me reeling
It's warm outside but the weather fails to hide
the stinging loss inside
For in the back of my mind I always thought I'd find my way to paradise
On I'd walk to paradise ...

But grace and lies locked the door from the other side
And now there's not much else there
Grace and lies
In all how long can you hide, how long?
The cost of innocence is the loss of innocence
Some may pass away, but some die screaming
When it came to my time, oh it took me by surprise
Was it my mistake, or am I born for giving in?"

When my existence ends,
Do not hold me to earth.
Bury me within the stars;
Return me to which I came from.
Let me shake hands with those
who watch over the night
and dance to a song
Unheard by the living ear.
Here I will find my soul.
Here I will join immortals.