Whether it's
A novel,
A fist,
A bottle,
Adultery:
It's all about
Lying,
Lying,
More lying,
And more.

When the sun goes down and everything gets quiet
The slideshow begins to play
A flashbulb memory of you dancing wildly around the piles of decay
Forever tormenting me and feeding on any bit of happiness that dares to shine through
Shining a light on you kissing her, and me kissing you…
I feel so disgusting…
I feel so used…
I feel so worthless…
It feels as though all of the love I ever gave you was abused…
The light burns my eyes
I’ve been in the dark so long
It hurts even more now that I know this has been going on all along
Did I ever mean anything to you?
Did you ever really care?
Or was I just there to fill the space?
I ask these questions, but the answers I can’t bare…
So many nights spent alone, pining for your love
Looking for just a small shimmer of hope…
Or just one kind word from you to think of…
I don’t have the heart to tell you everything…
What I did while you were gone
Sitting in the dark alone…
Praying not to make it to dawn
I keep these thoughts to myself…
It would only break your heart
After all this is our chance to make it better
This is our fresh start
Still, it eats at me everyday…
Every hour, and every second
I have to wonder if what you say is true
I have to wonder if you really meant it
Are you really ready to come home?
Or was I what you settle for?
Did you come back because you wanted to?
Or did you come back because she wasn’t an option anymore?
How will you deal with temptation?
Will you do it again?
Can we put this all behind us?
Can our hearts ever mend?
Will you make it to the top?
Or is the mountain of guilt too high to climb?
Should I try to move forward with you?
Or am I just biding time?
I’m just waiting for the hurricane to swoop in…
For it to take everything I ever cared for
Leaving me alone again…
I can’t watch you walk out that door anymore…
You are always leaving…
Leaving me behind
Your words forever haunt me
They never leave my mind…
Why would you do this to me?
Why didn’t you offer me mercy before now?
I hate what happened to us…
I want to move forward, but I don’t know how…
I don’t know how to live with everything you have done
Every broken promise ever made
Every lie you have ever spun
How do you come back from that?
How do you crawl out from the debris?
How do you forgive these trespasses?
How do you forgive adultery?

THOU SHALT NOT BE MISERABLE - MAN-UP,
YOU HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH DEPRESSION,
HERE BEGINS THE LESSON - WHAT IS YOUR REASON?
WRITE DOWN YOUR GOOD THINGS - WHAT A SMILE BRINGS.

RESPECT YOURSELF, YOUR PARENTS AND FAMILY FOR ME,
DO NOT MAKE ACCUSATIONS, RATHER DECISIONS,
DO NOT DESIRE THAT WHICH YOU CAN NOT HAVE,
DO NOT COMMIT ****** AND THEFT - USE WHAT'S LEFT.

DO NOT DESIRE ANOTHER PERSONS DONKEYS, SLAVES,
CATTLE OR THEIR PARTNER - THREE OUT OF FOUR SHOUD BE OK,
I FORGOT THE HOUSE - YOU HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN,
WHEN IT COMES TO ADULTERY - I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

TODAY IS SPRING, I WANT TO HEAR WHAT MAKES YOU SING,
MAKE ME LAUGH, IF YOU SUCCEED - THE WINE I SHALL BRING.

The Scales are out of balance
Thanks to the alias: ******
He just couldn't face the challenge
So he went out splurgin'
That B flies Flower to Flower
Forgetting the Honey at home
She prayed for the hour
That his sins he would hold
up to, and never again roam
She, disappointed in his inaction
He, saved by her contraction
... Knives would've been flown

I literally felt the pain rushing through
my body while reading your email
I'm so sorry to read
what you must have felt
that day and that moment
I can't say that
*I know how you must have felt
because I never had this happen to me,
but I sort of know how it feels since
I've been cheated on plenty of times
But getting an email like this  
Nope this hasn't ever happen to me
I know you assume
it was due to you lacking
in so many area's
Truth be told
I've not a reason
why things happen as they have
nor can I
explain why I took
away from you
what would of been your fairy tale romance
I don't know you and never planned to
I didn't even really know him
or that he was playing this silly game
I hope you will be able to forgive me
pray too you'll find a new love
and a new happy ending for yourself
because you deserve it
As I've stated I-I don't know you
and never planned to
I didn't even really know him
or  I'd of know you were
*His wife
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved

She rises as everyone falls
Her white complexion pristine as always
Men have fought for her pale face
Yet, when faced with her dark side, they cry in horror
A beautiful outsider
She wanders alone in the stars
Her wonder intimidates
Her grace frightens
Her love kills
Under her glow men commit ****** and monsters come out to play
Around every corner satin's satire drips of the tongue of ******
Adultery runs rampant
Respectable ties exchanged for leashes of pleasure
And briefcases for whips  
He sleeps in a long sleeve shirt to hide the lashes
Dinner was cold when he got home
But he forgave.
At church
The cross burns a whole in his forehead
His lips slightly stained from last night
Mind not on the sermon, but on his next excuse
How can he admit to losing everything to a drug test

She picks up the phone with a grin on her face as if he could see her through the phone
Another faulty excuse of overtime
Of course the plastered smile stays
But she can't find reasoning marketing should  leave bruises on his wrists
Her children are her only ball and chain
Her soul had left her years ago
But her body stays to care for them
An empty shell
Selene walks into the stars once again and waves the wife over
She swallows more than ever and spins to the sky
Selene guides her to her soul and they walk together to watch

Her son calls from his room for dinner
Her daughter throws her phone because she didn't have service
Her husband screams because the collar was a bit tight
Selene, desperate for company, begs for her to stay
And she does

He was a thief;
Stealing time he wasn't supposed to give to her.