I wish I was one of those girls who could laugh for fake candid photos
I wish I didn’t like to dance so much
I wish I was into white guys who were blind about their privilege
I wish I laughed at the things they laugh at
I wish I wasn’t Cuban sometimes
I wish I wasn’t Lebanese either
I wish I liked makeup tutorials
I wish I liked putting hours into my hair
I wish I was dedicated to my beauty
I wish I knew how to cook for a man
I wish I knew how to keep my room neat
I wish I liked corny quotes about happiness
I wish my deep thoughts didn’t sabotage my relationships
I wish my mind wasn’t so scattered
I wish I could join a sorority
I wish I could put up with most groups of girls
I wish I saw sexuality as black and white
I wish I wasn’t lazy
I wish I understood the science of dressing like an instagram girl
I wish I was better at school
I wish I didn’t get along with guys so well
I wish I didn’t have a weird sense of humor
I wish I didn’t resent my parents
I wish I never tried drugs
I wish I wasn’t so experimental with myself
I wish I wasn’t so hopeless
I wish I got through breakups more easily
I wish I didn’t like my hair short
I wish I would take off my makeup before I go to bed more
I wish I didn’t like talking about controversial topics
I wish I didn’t like going against the grain
I wish I got ready faster
I wish I had a more realistic idea of time
I wish I had bubbly handwriting
I wish I liked Vera Bradley
I wish I didn’t like it when my ******* could be seen through my shirt
I wish I liked pop music
I wish I didn’t notice how they frame commercials
I wish I was one of those girls that only had *** with 4 people
I wish I didn’t like it when my **** looked big
I wish I liked baking
I wish I didn’t like ****
I wish I didn’t like vibrators
I wish I could talk about materialistic things for long periods of time
I wish I didn’t struggle with depression or ADD
I wish I didn’t get ***** playing cops and robbers growing up
I wish I wasn’t cynical
I wish I didn’t like trap music
I wish there was a plot twist to this poem where I didn’t wish these things at all

Before fools began to recycle silliness
or love and *** became a commodity to be bought off the shelves of our desires.
Before muscle outranked intelligence
Or the loose were voted people of the year
Before a misguided girlfriend replaced a faithful wife
And hardwork was kicked out of the door by web scamming
Before ******* became only rounds of loveless ***
Common sense lived next to sanity on the street called society.
Because we were too busy watering the gardens of our stupidity
Common sense gradually lost all sense and sensibility
until there was nothing left to compose a corpse.
Very few of us attended the burial
Because almost all of us didn't realize it was gone...

Uncommon sense told you how high crack could get you
common sense agreed you were going to feel fly
But like an airplane, you'd eventually come crashing like a pack of cards.
Uncommon sense got her pregnant out of wedlock
While common sense was still preparing a future under a respectable roof.
The same society which kick against abortion
Serves the pregnant teenager a cold shoulder and self-righteous looks of disdain.

How do you ponder a picture without the painting
Or seperate the sea from the Navy?
Downloading apps to help bridge the gap between stupidy and foolishness
As the brain lies unused like an abandon project.
But like Lagbaja and his mask
The more you look, the less you see
The fool will always go shopping but will never put wisdom in the basket.

Junk sickness unearths this
Deep-rooted, oozing desperation.
Slack jaws,
Eyes
Bouncing in the back of your skull.
Tear through the paper flesh,
Scraping for a vein
Needing of
Molestation,
Mutilation,
Shredded from that constant need,
That whining itch,
To feel nothing
And everything all at once.
Praying for the earth to melt
Around the bare bones
Of the walking dead.

I am
But an observer
Stuffed in the back seat
While needles clog,
Blood surges,
Rage stirs.
I am
Just a spectator
To their universe coming to a
Creeping
Dull thud,
As they dream of better days that will
Surely come.
I am
Not sure
If it's possible to dig yourself
Back up
From the depths of a self-made grace.
I am
Not sure
If there is life after dope.
Lust swelters,
The shot is done,
We drive on.