Don’t know how it started,
or if it’ll ever end,
some call it Samsara,
others call it trends,

watched a video on YouTube,
Mac Miller in bed with Ariana Grande,
Mac died last week from an OD/suicide,
after Ariana got engaged to another man,

then I Googled this,
“**** photos of Ariana Grande”,
what’s the matter with me why does everything lead,
to having my thing in my hand,

swear to God YouTube is the Devil,
got me to watch screens,
used to have more freedom,
because I didn’t own a TV,

but laptops just made it all too easy,
now I barely go out,
and when I do it’s usually just for food,
then it’s back to my bed or my couch,

laid up like I’m ill,
typing on my MacBook like an addict,
I mean how do you think I wrote this poem,
I wrote it by typing on my MacBook like an addict,

and I don’t know how it started,
or if it’ll ever end,
some call it Samsara,
others call it trends…

∆ LaLux ∆

I am the darkness,
A  candle that is barely flickering,
Yet that flickering flame accompanied by the passing of lost souls ignites just enough light within to see the ugly within,
No amount of makeup can fix the scars on my face,
And that **** scale,
Is the Great Depression where all value has been lost,
I like white powder and white pills they make my toxic crimson bones a fuller shade of pink,
A pink cloud,
To float in nothingness that’s where my soul belongs
I want to shrink my body to a nothingness,
If god is love then that means I was not created into his image,
For I have never felt love with out a pericing pang in my heart,
Love is conditional,
So is god?
Nothingness though is beautiful,
But I am rotting flesh and bone with a short skirt and high heals on his bedroom floor,
He craves my destroyed body but has not time to listen to my soul,
Can you kick me out now I would like to go,
Go into the vast darkness that I am
The vastness of nothingness is my only remedy for pain of lost worth and dead souls

/ getting rid of toxins, or at least trying to /

3:45 - gotta lessen happiness intakes via chemicals
I want real happiness, and to fall back to love that is radical.

We’re all addicted to something that takes the pain away, or keeps us sane
But when your stubborn self finally realizes that it’s all temporary,
Fall back to the One that could really set you free.

my heart accepted defeat long before the light had left myhome
and
to know of satans sorrow was a truth that made the smallest smile i could summon a monumental victory.
alone with the ever slowing beats of my heart now completely unable to keep track of days and nights
and against the blood sky, time began to lose all intuitive wisdom.
and with the ******* of space and time came distortion.
ghouls and ghost became party guests
the foul sorts of scaly serpents and winged apparitions had gathered in rows in perfect stillness like marble chess pieces standing guard.
they seemed now like great guardians of my fragile spirit
losing hope in the home of horror
the scarlet sky now began to sound its final hurah before the life was to forsake this place. and so it stretched out its smoky hands like raven wings draping darkness over the horizon destroying the last light of what i once knew
and within was me,
accustomed to the demons devilish dance, a prisoner with no will to leave, nor any power to see beyond the tomb that felt like the only thrown i was to belong too
yep i was ******


years had passed this way, littered with tragic happenenings, broken relationships, addictions, and loss
yep i was ******
now as if by some sort of devine intervention i could feel the dry dead air come alive.the blood drenched sky had  stopped shrieking and as i raised my head in relief the horizon burst into brilliant trails of flame emitting hypnotic hues of purple and blue. crackling against the dead air like gun powder a blaze

and in the swell of confusion a sort of panic gave birth to momentum giving way now to a frequency with holy resonance, that filled my flask with potent tonic, upon drinking it began driving fire back into the abandoned forges of my humanity. from the depths of self denial i had emerged without the shackles of self deception to bind me, and from the grace of gods design i knew now i was forgiven

The internet’s not going to save you,
not sure why you keep thinking it will,
logging on Googling “Redemption”,
action’s only possible if the thinking is real,

yes we’re in The Matrix,
no I don’t care how you take it,
why am I only paying attention,
when both of us are naked,

everything’s so boring,
and most of it’s unrelated,
I’m not sure if she’s sure if she likes me,
we’re not sure what time and space is,

all we know is,
one simple equation,
there’s too little time,
and too much spacing,

to close on time,
yet too far apart,
I’m looking at you,
you’re looking at the clock,

but actually,
that’s a half true,
or as they would say,
that is Fake News,

because actually I’m as distracted as you,
logging on and Googling “Truest Truths”,
hoping maybe before I log of I can save me,
even though we both know the the truth,
the internet isn’t going to save me,
and it’s sure as heck not going to save you,

but what else is there to day,
it’s Saturday night I’m alone in LA,
almost feels like things were meant to be this way,
I see her so clear even when her image begins to fade,

which I suppose is appropriate,
in the City of Angels,
like seeing wings on a being,
but just at the right moment and angel,

Corporate Patriotism,
www.abannerstarspangled,
don’t forget the dot com,
we’re all the same equation just different angles,

feeling like God,
or at least Hermes with wings on His ankles,
or souls on his feet or Achilles with all His feats,
a Warrior for Love with a weakness at the ankles,

don’t hold me back I need to fly,
into the sunset a bet less romantic than Icarus or Sure,
because it seems at the end of the day,
Heaven is Both ocean and fire,

now before we go please one last quote,
and that’s don’t let yourself be chained to desire,
even though if I said that I also wasn’t ******,
and chained to desires as well well I’d be a liar,

and we don’t need lies,
what we need is truth,
and the truth is the internet,
isn’t going to save you,

the internet’s not going to save you,
not sure why you keep thinking it will,
logging on Googling “Redemption”,
action’s only possible if the thinking is real…

∆ LaLux ∆

Free Book Available Here: www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps