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jj Jan 2019
“recovery”
is too romanticized,
it’s not taking a bite,
or skipping a smoke,
it’s relapse and tears,
runs for weeks or running for weeks,
thoughts constantly stirring,
never fully recovered,
never really alone,
jj Jan 2019
I don't keep doing this in hopes i die,
I'm just trying to find a way to survive,
I like the partying and the drugs,
But with you around i might just wear earplugs.
I'm killing my body is what you keep saying,
You say that like i'm just playing,
Everyone knows i'm not living long,
We’ve known i'm not that strong.
So let me do my thing,
Its not like i' m looking for a ring,
I don't need you,
So throw away your tissue.
Katie Read Jan 2019
If you are not an addict it’s difficult to understand.
How one minute you’re pouring water, the next there’s whisky in your hand.
I drive home from work and stop in a coffee shop, pick up a coffee and make my way off.
He drives home from work and stops in a pub, picks up a pint and forgets how to love.
He comes home wide-eyed and restless in nature,
And I know the man getting into my bed is a stranger.
Someone who, up until recently I knew,
But then he re-filled his blood stream replacing it with toxicity.
And although he makes it home to me,
I still share a complicity.
I try not to be anguished and it take it so personally.
After all when I close my eyes he’s still the only one I see.
I just wish I could cure him but I’m starting to think I’m incapable,
That no amount of loving someone can make an addiction escapable.
The Poetic Fairy Dec 2018
As you lit up your cigarette
your promises went up in flames

Smoke has filled your lungs
drugs have scarred your soul

What can I do?
What should I do?

Are you okay?
Are you alright?
Is what is keeping me awake at night

I am so scared
so ******* scared

I love you so much
but I can't be with someone
that feels like a maybe
someone who doesn't love me enough
to stop destroying their own future
and thereby destroying a chance of mine.

- the poetic fairy
Rezium Dec 2018
4 out of 5 become different.
But the one will change the world.
So why not me?

I've got the plans but no action.
Seems I'm no different than the 4 and 3.
Except I'm not dependent on chlorine or finding the right thing to make me happy.

1 and 2 just remind me that we can all fall into the ability of finding ways of not being so panicky.
Though hold your breath deep and hope these things will stay for a while.
So why not me...
Chlorine and the Right Thing seem so easy and the thing that keeps them from being shakey helps them.
So why not me?
I've already found my thing but the sad truth is there's no way out.

Counseling is a way
Sure talk about why it seems so wrong.
Even though I caught you looking at them the way I do, you still lecture me as if you're not doing it.
Hypocrite...

I admit I'm an addict
But could you blame me as they blame themselves.
Excuse this excuse that.
So why not me....
I ******* hate myself a lot for my addictions but you know, life is weird. Happens for reasons we do or don't understand.
Hollow names
Clogging veins
Rotten brains
Locked in chains
Shocking pains
Blocking drains
plotting change
"I'll stop I'll change"
"I'll stop I'll change"
"I'll stop I'll change"
Iska Nov 2018
Ragged breaths
Dilated eyes
The sweet truth
The hazy lie
Breathy laughter
Loving the high
Sensual embrace
As I chase
After you
Addicted
through and through
Samlouie Nov 2018
I was a *** addict,
starting at seven,
no I didn't have *** then,
but the stage was set
and developing.

Disconnected at home,
parents speaking Chinese,
with no language for love,
I found it elsewhere,
in a stash of sleeze.

Magazines,
make-out scenes,
lingerie ads,
**** scrambed on tv,

my young eyes transfixed
on what I thought was love,
on an illusion,
a fake,
a counterfeit,
hooked on intensity,
longing for intimacy,
a boy devoured by sexuality,
a boy yearning for so much more.
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