.Honestly,
She deserves better.
She would be so good for you,
But you would hurt her,
As you already have here
By forcing her to say no.

Honestly,
You need someone strong,
Someone to put up with you
And keep you in line,
Because you'll respond in turn
And influence will change you.

Honestly,
You have been the first.
I idolized the others.
But I see your flaws
As I ought to; I could say
All the things you need to hear.

But honestly,
You need more than me:
I would hurt you, I know it.
Though unintended,
I would run with my feelings
And push you away instead.

So honestly,
Think hard beforehand
Don't ask for what you don't want
You're resilient
But I'm a pain in the neck
And I don't want to break you.

Honestly
I won't make a move.
For both fear and for the hope
That we'll just be friends
If not best ones, then good ones:
Just as we are already.

So honestly
I might want to lie
But honest I will remain
As I tell you this:
That I would only choose you
If you fully knew the price.

There is no romance
But I'm pretty sure you care...
You say "I love you"
But you say that all the time
To everybody. And me.

I chose to forgive
And my hatred and anger
Dissipated, slow,
And mellowed out into this:
Apathy and honest care.

I try to be kind
But sometimes it's difficult;
You wouldn't believe,
But I can hold a mean grudge
Over something pathetic.

It distresses me:
I just can't think straight these days.
But one thing I know—
I am alright without you,
And that comforts me.

I thought I could hide:
You seemed unassuming then;
But now, you see me,
And I know you look through me—
That you know, reassures me.

I am no longer
This version of me has changed
Who I was has gone;
I didn't like who I was,
But it frightens me, changing.

Again, I am found
In that familiar place
Where I hope for much
Expect little, and am shocked
When I am neither to you.

Too often I lie
When I smile at you and laugh
Because deep inside,
Knowing you has made me drown
In this, my pit of self-doubt.