Wrap my wrists in silver
And see what I do.
I saw the girl and shot her;
You want me to shoot you too?

Throw on the jacket,
Surround me in white,
I'm still going to escape it.
So come and join the fight.

if i knew the last time i saw you was going to be the last
i would've pushed through the crowd
shoved everyone away until it was just me in front of you
i would've wrapped my arms around you
shoved my head in your chest
would've said goodbye i'll miss you and how much you meant to me
but i didn't know
so instead i looked away as you searched for me
i blended into the crowd and willed you not to find me
i hate the past me

god i cry on the bathroom floor
if you're real take me
take me so i can be happy again
he left laughing while tears streaking down my face
he returned with a spoonful of pain
shoved it down my throat claiming he knew best
my mom prays to him constantly

I wish you were sitting next to me right now
your guitar would be in your lap and you would be strumming the perfect notes to settle my whirlwind of thoughts
my eyes would close and i would slip into the darkness

remember how the grass felt
and how our laughs were loud
and how the sunset made everything dark
and how i ran across the street
daring the cars to hit me
because at that moment i felt untouchable
and nothing could hurt me
and everything was perfect
and that was the present and now its the past
and our present doesn't feel like a gift we share but something i suffer by myself

you sit playing your guitar
you strum and the strings make a noise
which makes a line
which makes a verse
which makes a song
which makes me happy

i wish i could take the way songs make me feel and stuff them in my pocket
then whenever i just need an escape they would be there
i would get one, stuff it in my mouth and swallow like a pill
except pills are stupid and these would fill me

my head hurts
i don't know if its from the light from my phone
it probably is let's be honest
or from thinking of you
i think about you a lot though and have never suffered anything more than heartache
so im going to go with the former

i love the smell of salt in my hair
the feel of sun kissing my skin
i love the moon and her friends when they're reflected across the water
i love the sand that never leaves me and the shells that sit patiently in my pocket
waiting for me to admire them
and i love how fast the day goes and how when i run on the beach i think of nothing except of the air that goes in and out of my lungs
and how its impossible that this me
this me with a smile on her face simply because the cold water makes her happy
is the same girl who cries and screams when her body finally can't hold her feelings anymore and she overflows
because how can that girl exist when the ocean is reminding me to breath
the tide pulls in and out