I may not be able to save the whole world, but I hope that my words can one day save someone’s world.

My best friend was mine
Before the snooty girl stole her away
With the lure of a stupid fashion show instead of doing gymnastics on the bars
During recess
Like I wanted
What’s wrong with gymnastics!?

My first crush was mine
Before he got a BOY best friend
And then he picked HIM instead of ME to cut the cake
He was mine first!

She brought in a dream catcher
To class
I watched it’s beautiful blue beads and
Elegance
As it’s feathers were softly ruffled by the wind
But it was hers, only her nightmares were blocked
I have nightmares too!

They like her more then me
They laugh at what she says
They don’t care what I say
People look at her
They listen to her
Not me

In math class
She always wins the games
And gets all the candy
She’s the fastest
Cause she’s got all her facts memorized
Faster than me!

Everything
Everyone
Else

has best friends
get their crushes
has awesomer stuff than me
are cooler than me
are smarter than me
are better than me
are better than me
are better than me
are-
...

My god,
what a distorted perception of the world I’ve had!

I wish to share with you
The patterns of destructive thoughts—
The ones that consume my mind
And contaminate my soul

I’d hoped it was time
FINALLY
I so badly need them to be free

I refrain
And keep them locked away
Trapped within the walls
I have so carefully built

And unfortunately
They shall remain put—
For you are not
Who I thought you were

Everyone says
That their childhood was the happiest
And as they got older
Things got difficult

But for me
My childhood and
Present
Are the same

I was abused
I was forced to fear
I was yelled and spat at
For things that were not my fault

I was never given the same love
Given to my brothers
I never even felt love
Like they did

I was forced to lie
So I don't get beaten
I was forced to withhold my screams
That would get me in trouble

I learnt not to share my opinion
Because I knew
That they
Would insult me on it

I was never allowed
To express myself
My feelings
My ideas

My childhood wasn't a happy one
But I've learnt to survive.

On the verge of everything
On the verge of crying
On the verge of breaking
On the verge of jumping
On the verge of pulling the trigger
On the verge of swallowing the pill
On the verge of drowning
On the verge of collapsing
On the verge of not breathing

Just a breeze will ******* over

And I'll fall off of the edge

I can end it all
Right here
Right now.

The demons
They're chanting
For me to swallow the bottle of pills

Looking out through the window
I see the moon
And the night sky

I could be with them
A star in the sky
More than a star I'll ever be here

The voices in my head
They're telling me I don't have a purpose
That I'm a waste of space

But maybe
They're right
They know the truth.

And maybe
I should just end it
Right now
While I can.

If I were to **** someone
Without all these witnesses
Someone without family
Who didn't know another being

If that person was dead
Would anyone notice

Maybe if it was an accident
Maybe if I hid the body
Maybe no one would ever know
Would ever care
Would ever want to know,
To care,
About a person
Who had had a life
It was a lonely life
Probably a sad life

But would anyone bother to care?

How lucky I am to have found this safe haven
This sounding board
United among beings who share openly
Who let their hearts be it in sorrow, joy, fear, or enlightenment be open
People who share their amazing talents and minds without reserve.
Tell stories of grandeur or simple thoughts
Who acknowledge without judgment
I am blessed.
Thank you.