I don't think.
I never do.
I dive in head-first,
without knowing
the depth of the water.
Without having a clue.
I jump in without
a single thought.
Only when the
shock of the cold
water ***** the air
from my lungs,
do I realize the
damage that
could be done.
I cannonball into
the deepest end.
And it is there,
that split second
in mid-air,
when I decide
whether I'll
sink or swim.

Ribbons and bandanas
go hand in hand.
Whenever I see one,
the grief that I've
learned to control
finds a way back in.
They remind me of what
bravery and true fear
really look  like.
They remind me of
the sound of buzzing
hair clippers.
And the quiet sobs
from both of us as
our tears fell to the floor,
just like your hair,
that you loved so much.
They remind me of that terrible
oncologist office, that always
smelled like chemicals.
Where I sat with you
as we waited to hear:
" The doctor will see you now."
They remind me of the goodbye,
that hurts me to this day;
When your fight ended,
and the angels took you away.
Whenever I see a ribbon or bandana,
I'm reminded of you.
Life isn't fair, but you were a fighter
all the way through.

She still remembers the day,
That her world collapsed around her,
With a big crash.

However,
Even a stronger memory than that:
She remembers the day,
That she looked at the rubble,
Left from the life she once lived,
And decided it was time,
To start over again.
And this is where her journey began.

She picked her heart up from the wreckage,
And sewed it back into place.
Now here she stands,
Fearless today.

Oh,
But the way
You make butterflies swarm
In my stomach,
And my heart
Pound like a bass drum,
That makes words
Tumble from my mouth,
After diving
Off of my tongue,
In such a strange way,
Like no one before
Has ever done.

My mind works like a dead engine.
Over and over again it turns.

It  hurts me,
Just a little more each time.
For no reason at all.

Sometimes I just wish,
The **** thing would start running,
Or just completely stall.

Little Ms. Perfect sat inside,
With her nose in books,
Watching her GPA grow.

Ignoring the world outside,
Buzzing with life,
Just below her window.

It didn't interest her,
She had a plan to stick to,
A way through the life that she knew.

Until the day that little Ms. Perfect,
Realized life isn't perfect,
And away those plans went.

Now when she looks at her days,
Without regret,
She says they're days well spent.

I am chaos in its most beautiful form.
I have a blizzard storming through my brain,
And a fire in my heart.
My thoughts and desires alone sometimes tear me apart.
For they clash, collide, and conflict with each other,
Leaving me confused on which way to go.

I am the most put-together walking disaster that you will ever meet.
Yeah, I'm torn and tattered.
And I'm falling apart at the seams
But you'll never see that part of me.
I know how to stitch and sew,
Duct tape and super glue work wonders too, you know.

White picket fence,
A house owned,
No rent.
A ring on my finger,
Baby on my hip,
And an amazing husband,
Who comes home to my kiss.
Oh, the age of sweet dreams and innocence...

It's time to wake up, kid.

A white picket fence?
You'll be lucky to find an apartment where you can afford rent.
You won't have a ring on your finger,
But it's quite easy to have a baby on your hip.
For a very long time,
The word "husband" will make you sick.
Even love will seem like a myth.

Long gone are the days of innocence.
Say hello to the age of disaster.
Life is wonderful,
Isn't it?

You changed me.
I was a wallflower.
You pulled me off the wall,
And watched me bloom.

I am now something beautiful,
And it's all thanks to you.

I may be going to hell,
But don't worry about me.

I'm probably going to hell,
But, I'll have lots of company.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell.
The end of my life will not be signaled by the sound of a golden bell.
The life I swore I'd never live has taken its toll.
My halo has been pawned,
And my wings are broke.
Not even the church could save my soul.

And if by chance,
I do make it to the promised land,
Those golden, glowing gates would never let me in.

Heaven is where everyone wants to go,
But some of us are destined to end up down below.

Mirror, mirror,
You're no longer on my wall.
Why?
Because I hate you;
I can't stand you at all.
Gone are the days when I'd hope for you to compliment me.
I know that when I look into you,
Ugly is all I see.

Mirror, mirror,
Why are you so mean?
I just want to be pretty,
Like every girl around me.
I no longer care about being skinny and tall.
I just want to feel beautiful,
That is all.

Mirror, mirror,
I took you off of my walk.
You were the ugly one,
It wasn't me at all.

I'm the girl who hates shopping.
Hard to believe, I know.
But nothing makes me look right.
They say I'm ugly regardless of my clothes.
You may know me.

I'm the girl that sleeps all day,
Because I stay up all night.
What good is the daylight,
When it feels like nothing is right.
You may know me.

I'm the girl in the back of the room,
The one who never makes a sound.
Maybe I wouldn't be so "anti-social",
If I had more friends around.
You might know me.

I'm the girl who cries almost every day,
The one who wants to disappear.
I struggle to keep my head up;
Maybe things will be better in a few years.
You might know me.

I'm the girl who made it through,
The one now finds reasons to smile.
Things sure were tough back then,
But it only lasted for a while.
You may not know me yet,
But I hope someday you do.
You deserve to know me just as well as I know you.

Take everything in your mind,
And just let it flow.
Drag your pen across the paper,
Make some lines.
Burst of color are truly beautiful,
Even words work just fine.

The paper holds so much about me,
That the world may never know.
So many words I've scribbled on paper,
Just trying to let things go.
My mind is a masterpiece of chaos,
I mustn't let it show.
Sometimes emotions bubble over,
And I don't know if I'll be okay,
But if I have the ability to write it out,
I can make it through the day.


The paper knows how I feel and why,
It's kept so many of my secrets.
To the paper I've confessed a lot of lies.
So when the going gets tough,
I know where to go.
I put my pen to the paper and reveal things that most people will probably never know.

He said that he doesn't like the way she is,
That she needs to relax a little bit.
"How do you do that?"
She asked.
"One drink at a time,"
He answered.

And as the alcohol coursed through her veins,
She began to fall in love with the sound of his name.
And in the heat of the hot summer nights,
They were always together,
It just felt right.
But soon summer was over,
The fun was all done.
Before she knew it,
He was gone.

She waited and waited,
For some sort of sign,
That it wasn't over,
But it was the end.
The summer love had died.

People told her to forget him,
That he wasn't coming back.
He was nothing but trouble,
She didn't need that.
"How?"
She asked.
And they replied with "One drink at a time."

And as the alcohol she sipped burned her throat,
She slowly began to learn how to let go.
You don't get over someone by crying tears,
You get over them by downing shots and sipping beers.

Letters A and B were supposed to meet that night,
But letter C got in the way.
Letter C knew what he was doing,
With that twisted smile of his.
As did letter B,
Who watched them with jealousy,
Knowing that letter A should've been his.
Letter A fell in love with C,
As the story goes.
However, they weren't meant to last,
As everybody now knows.
Letter C didn't quite feel the same,
And soon backtracked,
To his rightful place in the alphabet.
Which isn't next to letter A,
But after letter B,
And directly next to his sweet letter D.

So, what became of letter B, you ask?
Well, letter A and B finally met up.
Can you believe it?
A perfect match!
And so, now everything is in order.
Letter A is with letter B,
Letter B is best friends with C,
And C is with his true love, letter D.
Isn't it funny how everything works out?
Now everyone is happy,
Without a doubt.
But every now and then,
Letter A wonders if there's any chance that the alphabet may get mixed up again.

What shall I compare you to?
Honey, I don't know.
You're simply incomparable,
You've given me a whole new glow.

There's so much good in the mornings,
As well as at night.
Songs seem so much sweeter,
And the sun much more bright.

You crashed into my darkened world,
And with you,
You brought some light.

I don't write love poems anymore.
I don't do that at all.
But for you,
I must admit,
I was unafraid to fall.

I don't write love poems anymore,
But I guess this is a start.
You have somehow broken the lock that guarded my heart.
Now with each passing day,
I just love you more.
I guess this is what forever is meant for.

So I just hope you remember,
Because you have never let me forget,
I want to be with you always,
And live a life of love and happiness.

I didn't write love poems anymore,
But I guess I do now.
All of these feelings are more than true,
Baby, this love poem was written just for you.