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suze suze Feb 2018
And then,
...
I decided to swim till the waters ran out.
...
I decided to hold on a bit longer,
And then a bit more longer,
And then a bit more longer,
Till the end.
suze suze Sep 2017
I wish to breathe the breeze that bounced off your face
Your thought haunting every point of my brain
From the sun that sees me at dawn
To  the glittering  moon,
To the sun that sees me the next dawn,
Everyone asks-
As to why I blush?
I whisper unintelligibly -
You are the reason.
The thief of my being,
The missing piece of my puzzle,
I wait desperately for you.
suze suze Nov 2017
Holding my hand
Taking a deep breath
I get out each day to face the world, alone.
My head on your invisible shoulder
I smile to myself at you.
Hoping its all a dream,
And I'll wake up to your face
I close my eyes
Only to wake up to my tears.
At the end of the day
I still sleep in your arms (invisible ones).
And when it hurts
(Even when you are my pain and my joy)
I still hold on to you
The way i did before,
But without you by me.

I'm still here
(Baby,
I'm still where you left me)
I'm still where you left me...
Broken
Alone
Waiting
suze suze Sep 2017
i wanna spend a day by the river;
watching the sun rise over the horizon
and watching your smile as the sun rises over the horizon.
smile at me,
make my day
suze suze Oct 2017
to see those branches and roots
twist and fall among those leaves
suze suze Sep 2017
Being away from you kills me,
the warmth of your touch,
as you held my dimpled cheek,
against you,
with my tears wetting your shirt-
still lingers there,
as if twere never gone.

You went away ,
taking a part of me with you;
now here i am,
i do not know where my soul is,
perhaps its still clinging onto you,
refusing to let go

.Now leaning on the balcony,
with the setting sun beams,
poring through my eyes ,
my mind's all in for you;
your black curious eyes,
fixed on mine,
as you held me in your arms,
against the balcony-
my heart always seemed to float away...
  


Seeing you only makes it worse,
bits of those forever torn 'moments'-
trying to poke their heads back in,
the  excrutiating  pain as the bits tear through to me,
i can only but bear 'em ;
as  your messy hair in the morning,
as your embarrassing smile,
as you,.. my dear,
enclose me in painful happiness.
suze suze Sep 2017
when you have that deep , persistent pain down your throat
but you don't wanna cry.

and you don't even know if you are right to be sad
shared feelings
suze suze Feb 2018
I still think of how we used to be.
All the vain promises that gave me hope,
And all the times you made me smile,
And all the times I smiled knowing you were there;

And the chest I so yearned to rest my head on.
And those heart beats I so loved.
But I'm ok.
suze suze Sep 2017
I've much on my mind
and too much to say

but the person i wanna say it to
doesn't care
or so i think
shared feelings

who else shares this feeling
suze suze Sep 2017
Don’t run away lil bird ……………………
This life's hard ,
You see,..Life makes you cry,
But you do get to smile,
You get to make friends-
Friends who think  you matter,
People crave to live more,
But they get suicidal.
Yes lil bird .
I kno  tis complicated,
But you still wanna get its essence,
Coz its refreshing.
Life by itself's beautiful,
But I warn you lil bird,
Darkness looms every nook and corner,
You could get hurt.
Yes,lil bird ,
Its adventurous,
But carefull  lil bird,
You could get stuck-
In a bush,
In the gooey sticky mud;
Remember to make only the right mistakes
suze suze Oct 2017
Undefined and mysterious,
this thing called love ,keeps on eating me alive.

Gulping down my tears ,quenching its thirst;
my smiles for dessert,always on menu;
my blushes and giggles and glances ,never too tangy.


I can't say the bites don't hurt,
but i can neither say they don't please.
It's eating me alive,
but  I've never been more alive.
suze suze Oct 2017
as i walk down this lane
weak,
but strong as i can be;

empty as i can be,
but brimming with stuff i can't even explain

stuff chained to my frail body ,weighing me down
you still give me smiles on my lips i can cry on
you make me smile through my tears
suze suze Sep 2017
When you're in love
It hurts when he hurts,
His face is the joy you want.
His steps are the ones you wish to tread,
Everything lacks something without him,
His touch is ecstasy .
You wish he were a part of yourself,
So you could carry him around;
Slowly you realize,
He's growing on you,
And you on him.

……………………………..
Taking some of my breath away from me ,
And giving some of his to me each time,
He  grew through me,
And I through him .
suze suze Mar 2018
The end was never the end;
It was just a pause,
A break from the maze,
To clear the fog,
So you could start fresh.

And the start was never just a start;
It was the beginning of a new end.
I end in me, and me in I.
.
You end in you, and you in you.
.
Everything loops back to itself,
And everyone loops back to themselves.
.
suze suze Sep 2017
Since some men started behaving like wild animals ,
They put all women in chains.
and they say we are the smartest species
suze suze Sep 2017
a tight hug,
that smothers you with affection,
makes you feel safe


is everyone's wish
once in a while
longing for it
craving for one
suze suze Mar 2018
and once again here i am
not knowing what's even flowing through my fingers

          hoping ,
this will soften the things floating around my mind.
Here for me
suze suze Mar 2018
..
Found my home in your arms.
..
Nothing more to say.
suze suze Mar 2018
I still believe we can work this out

Even though silence is all that prevails between us.
Still wanting you
suze suze Mar 2018
there he comes,

as real as your fake smile.
notsoreal
suze suze Sep 2017
Now years later,
Walking down those rubble and dirt,
Which creak in agony,
I am reminded of that innocent face,
Which once washed cold ashore,
On a ****** dreadful day,
When the world stood still.
in memory of Alan Kurdi
suze suze Oct 2017
it ******* hurts

...but i'll survive
please don't leave me alone

  ..... it hurts
suze suze Sep 2017
We build the castles we destroy,
We pave the road to our destruction;
All so clear to all,
But all live under the guise of ignorance,
‘Cause to accept all this,
Would mean a hurt to our ego,
A stain on the face of our built-up humanity.
Lies, deception, jealousy, hatred -
Making way for more of these.
True humanity smudged and hidden,
By the hands that should nurture it.
Waging wars against fellow brothers and sisters,
Fighting to own the land that isn’t anyone’s to own,
It all seems so stupid to my silly eyes.
Ready to sacrifice self,
To fulfill someone’s selfish needs and beliefs;
I don’t see the point,
Why  bring more shame,
When shame we live in;
Why push our children ,
Into the same worthless lives as ours?
For once ,let us wage a war,
A war against wars,
A war against evil,
A war for unity,
For maimed humanity.
suze suze Sep 2017
BEING THERE ,
Seeing it all;
Merely being a doll ,
Pinned  to the wall,
I've no choice,
But  to just be there .
Witness it all.
I feel so helpless,
Like  I can do nothing ,
But see them suffer as they suffer-
Yearning for help.

I see many reach out to them,
Their kindness easing  much pain;
My mind burns inside of me,
My heart reaches out to them-
To those who suffer;
But the glass wall ,
There it is ,
Blocking  my path-
Too high to climb,
Too thick to penetrate.
But all, just for now.

The wall will perish over time,
My will will grow strong over time,
And one day,
My heart will reach out for them,
And  I –making my way through the broken glass ,
Will be there for them-
Later when ,
When the glass wall breaks,
And my will grows strong.
suze suze Sep 2017
To think i've to live
yet another dreadful day ,
in your absence-
reach out for you,
but not find you near me-
makes my heart groan in pain,
I tear out at all beside me,
All, who try to ease my pain-
But none easing any pain-
Only making it worse,
Only Making your absence more visible,

Honey, where are you?
What did I do wrong-
To deserve this pain.

Am I in a nightmare?
Are you still sleeping beside me,..?

…,Dear?
I hear no answer.
I turn in bed to hug you,
A cold pillow replaces your warmth..
The pain returns ,
My heart is wrung inside out,
I can bear no more.
Your  coffee mug,
Sits empty beside my cold,
Untouched   lifeless coffee.

Honey , don’t you see me?
Struggling without you.
Please ,…
Come ease my pain.
suze suze Sep 2017
Really wish the whole concept of life were much more simpler.
I wish love was the basis of all thing alive-
And it is ,
Its just  that we felt so advanced-
In technology,
In religion,
In life,
We never  wanted to take the road back
To pick something up, as common as love.
Our cramped  existence,
In the midst of extreme religion,
In the midst of morales,
In the midst of all things we created,
In the midst of all the junk we created,
Life is just  a concept-
Philosophers rely on.
Why some cry away in tunnels unseen ,unheard?
Why are some stripped of love?-
Destined to wait forever.

Can love be contained in the hands of a few?-
Yes, it can,dear philosophers.
Today's world is the proof.
suze suze Mar 2018
When you realise you're holding onto a dead bird
Ha, But you still hold on.
suze suze Aug 2017
He stood before me,
Inspecting his broken toy.
What flickers through his mind,
I do not know.
But he smiles occasionally ,
The gap from the recently dropped front teeth gaping at me.
His eyes amaze me.
Every look familiar to me now,
The wide grin giving away his mischief,
Is my favourite.
His stubbornness is short lived.
He settles for the little joys of ice cream,
His batman costume pushed backstage,
(Well, at least  for now).

He puts on a brave face-
Except for the ‘spideys’.
His tiny hand waved reluctantly,
He leaves for school.
All that amazes him looks new to me.
With him,
I become the kid I once was.
Discovering more of me,
As he discovers the world ,little by little.
suze suze Sep 2017
I saw her suffer by my side;
Day by day she grew stronger;
I grew stronger on the outside,
But inside -
I grew just as weaker.

I smiled to comfort her,
And she -
To comfort me.
But inside,
Our hearts writhed in pain.


Her hair fell out-
But her eyes shined more and more.
And her lips were chapped,
But her smile , all the more pretty.
She grew beautiful with pain.

The doctor's words indicated separation was inevitable;
But still , hope nevertheless gave us hope.

Still now,
I can feel my little baby in my arms,
The way she called me "ma",
And how,  each time she did,
I felt complete.
these are just mere words
the pain of the mother can never be really portrayed
suze suze Sep 2017
when the sun shines at your face
i do not know which is more beautiful-
the rays or your face
sunshine on my sunshine
suze suze Nov 2017
..
And i be still wandering
..
..wanderer..
suze suze Sep 2017
He stretched his head,
Out of the muddy hole;
To take a peek,
At the sodden ground,
And the water-dripping grasses.
His tiny little head-
A ball of fur it seemed,
Had a pair of lovely little eyes,
Which shined in the sunlight-
Like a star far above.

His suddenly happy eyes,
Showed satisfaction;
And there he leaped out,
Into the soft mattress-like meadow,
And jumped hither and thither.
'CUT!',there came a sound,
And there emerged a director,
And there emerged a trainer,
His hand held a white string,
To which the rabbit's neck was tied!
suze suze Sep 2017
I'm mostly never sure about anything,
but once in a while when i'm sure,

i'm mostly wrong.
i'm not sure if that's right
suze suze Feb 2018
If this is real
And not an illusion
How would I survive?
But I did.
And in the dark you became my light.
suze suze Sep 2017
he gave me a smile
out of the corner of his smacky lips
it made me feel
like he was for me to own
i felt he liked me
but did he?

last day i saw him
below the feeble moonlight
his eyes glittered
or was it just me?
he glanced at me-
a quick cold glance.
i felt my heart burst
does he hate me?

lunch time at school
backpack weighing down
queing at counter
i almost fainted
no.it wasn't the heat or the wait
but,HIM behind me
getting crammed against my backpack
i stood lost
trying not to look at him
but i saw him
looking at me
and it was no cold look
my heart jumped inside me
he really likes me

but i really dont know
i will just wait
and eventually find out
if he'd like to be my boyfriend.
suze suze May 2018
You are taking a walk.
The weather is perfect. The sky is cloudy, but it isn't raining, and a cool breeze is blowing. Its soothing you. You are content. Relaxed. You are walking down the empty road,  thinking of your lover/crush/ex/bestie/anyone close to you; wishing to talk to him/her, imagining yourself in a hilarious convo with him/her, holding his/her hand in yours as you walk. You couldn't be happier (or gloomier).
On the way you happen to pass a river. Being in the mood that you are, you decide to loiter near it. The view is great. Gentle tides pushing away the present.
You start walking playfully on the concrete barrier. Suddenly you trip over a rock; reaching out your hand for support, you find nothing. A sharp chill runs through your heart.
You scream out loud,though somewhere amongst the  quick thoughts in your mind you know you are going to plunge into the water.
Before you know it the cold water touches you. Splashes and drops surround you. You beat frantically your restless arms, but only cold fluid flowing. Helpless... You reapeat your ****** movements over and over again. Legs trying to run away to safety; but there's no ground. No support. Your head goes under water.. Eyes open ; you breathe in the cool liquid. You try to cough out the water, but end up taking in more and more water.
Your body starts moving down towards the bottom. You are tired. You try. But it's not enough to get out. Exhausted.. and starting to feel numb.. and sleepy and tired and all those feelings creeping in. You see leaves floating.. Feel the fish slide against your skin.. But you can't respond. You lose consciousness in between . You cease.

All your dreams, all your thoughts, all the things that made you you, its no more. Mere chemical reactions in the brain. Your mind doesn't exist to even acknowledge that you existed. Or that you died. Not a slight trace of you in that motionless body...
Take yourself through a thought of mine.
suze suze Aug 2017
I feel the tinge of pain again.
No ,It  isnt the wounds that hurt ,
But everything else-
The look of sarcasm,                                                                              
The look of disgust,
The silence of loneliness,
The winds of abandonment,
The occasional  frown,
The nameless torture,
The unwanted shameful fame,
The experience of impaired humanity……

As I feel the rope tightening round my neck,
I enjoy the painful bliss;
I pass into the unknown-
Nameless .
Weak.
Stripped of respect ,
Of dignity,
Of all things human.
- Dedicated to all my sisters who suffered undeservingly………
suze suze Sep 2017
The day came…………………
But he didn't…………….



Red as  a rose she is;
Her eyes sending out ,
That irresistible  charm-
No man could escape.
Her long black curly hair-
Dangling along her *****-
Set free in the wind,
There she is ,blushing.

In a corner of the park,
Wearing that occasional –
Eye-catching li’l red frock,
With a few black curls-
Playing hide ‘nd seek-
Through the loose stringy back-
Of that li’l  red frock;
There she is, day dreaming.

Staring at the golden crisp-
Maple leaves bathin’,
And maple leaves floatin’-
In feeble sunlight,
And caring breeze,
There she is, staring.

Among golden crisp-
Maple leaves falling,
To the ground ,as if eager-
Too eager to touch,
Too eager to feel,
Her soft dimpled cheek;
There she is ,waiting……..
suze suze Sep 2017
Her eyes blinked-
Sending a tear,
Down her cheek;
Her heart trampled-
Like a wild animal,
Held onto a leash;
The spring had come,
And with it came-
The sweet-smelling lavenders,
That hung low,
Seeing her sorrow-laden face.

'Don't  worry dear,
I'll be back for you,
In a week's time',
Thus he had said to her,
On a cold rainy night,
When the wind lashed-
Against the unhooked windows,
Making them dance,
On their hinges.
But the war went on,
And weeks turned into months,
And months into years,
Leaving not a minute;
For them in its clock.

The phone rang that morning;
She hurried down the stairs,
Slipping a step or two,
Hoping it to be-
Her dear partner.
She had been crying,
Ever since she picked up-
That mysterious call,
Which had made her,
Crack down on the floor;
For a sad call,
I'm sure it was.

Of course, he had come!
But why did his arrival,
Leave her lamenting?
There she sits-
On the cold floor-
Just in the middle-
Of the carpet-spreaded hall,
And beside her,
Lie her husband,
Soulless and cold,
In a well-built coffin.

And the war went on,
Seeing all this,
And creating-
Many soulless cold bodies,
And leaving all those-
Dear ones lamenting.
suze suze Sep 2017
My soul yearns for more,
but i'm helpless.
like a bird-wings cut off-
I flutter around ,
in search of that something.

Dripping with guilt,
of all the days I let go by,
enclosed in the dungeon of dark life,
I lie there,
waiting for someone to knock.

Somewhere - I imagine,
somewhere far off,
there is light.
light that can give me sight.


But i'm bound in chains,
to the firm grip,
of my groaning painful past.

I wear a scarf,
one that masks my wounds;
but my bleeding heart,
I cannot hide.
suze suze Sep 2017
how u make me weep
and
how you make me  smile through my tears
love is confusing
but its  worth it..
suze suze Nov 2017
drunk on your charms
high on your words
trapped in the trance your eyes wove,

I'm still addicted.
you're still my addiction
suze suze Nov 2017
drunk on your charms
.....high on your words...
suze suze Mar 2018
..
When that want keeps you hyper
..
When each second spent waiting, makes you want it more and more.
suze suze Sep 2017
i can only see beauty in your eyes
they still amaze me
blank,captivating
drawing me in with every look,
dripping undefined beauty
his eyes still amaze me

— The End —