I am very afraid to face tomorrow.
I am very afraid I won't face tomorrow.

neither here nor there
over seas of despair
woe is me
friend of the sea
lord of mistakes
governor of ache
well versed in pain
oh the nights that have crawled by
you, the moon and the lake of sorrow on my mind
its as if the moon, dropped her marble tears
in my palms
an offering of peace
its true that I, the poets first true love
illuminated the sky longer than mans time
even this earth has no knowledge of the lengths you've gone to
but I do
I've watched you bloom and wither
forgive me for not standing still
when you split in two
for I have worlds to be
and theres more for you

This is what I've wanted.
To slip under sheets and get a restful sleep,
Instead of laying awake, uncertain, unsatisfied.

I've wished to be lost in the comforts of pillows and blankets,
Not left uncovered, uncomfortable.

I've found a new bed
I've found the dream outside my head.
I finally feel alive, not dead.

where the night carries her silence,
her greys the bridging dome of sky,
her stones their blossomed ridge-

the moon’s half-circle bends
amid cloud, steps in
staccato, where the
stars can’t be seen;

i am less than the cloud
and the sky,
hardly breathing,
moon-ghosts in my hair,
moon-opals in my belly.

Who knew that the key to drawing
Stems from the same key to poetry

If want was water,
I would be drowning, my head under completely
and my oxygen quickly depleting.
If confusion was cold,
My fingers would be numb and I wouldn't even
have a coat to ward off the freezing.
If youth was you,
It would be slipping away by the second,
And I can't get a hold to stop it.
Now,
my air is gone,
I'm shivering to the bone,
and can't keep a hold on.
But, this is only a poem:
I know I'm not suffocating, subzero, or slipping.
But I can't help but feel like the more I write,
the farther I get from reality
and the closer I get to metaphor mortality.

Quietly, now,
the words settle in my brain
with softer edges than before.
Shapes your mouth made
piece together, delicately, now
I look for the cause.

Patiently, now,
I hear your voice in pastel tones:
my spectrum blurs the shout.
A storm I only helped grow
settles silently, now
my eyes are on the ground.

Carefully, now,
I keep my own shades pale
enough to match yours.
Words coming out faint,
we sit, quietly, now
I understand the score.

Open the cuts on my soul again//
to make sure the pain hurts the way I remember it//
Darling it's all I have left//
You a̶r̶e̶  were my addiction//

I tried to erase y̶o̶u̶  it but I just//
scratched the vinyl & carved your name on the walls//
so I'd never forget but//
always need//

I say I live as a burden,
My mouth sealed shut.
So that I may not utter the words,
Of my weighted thoughts.

These truths weigh a ton,
And I've far too many for just one head.
For even mine.
My head bobs to my shoulder,
Weakened necks can't hold this.

Now I'm shaking,
Trembling.
Because I gave you the rocks,
The stones that broke my neck.
And you are fading,
Drifting all at once.

Give me your boulders,
And we will be even.
Give me your mountains,
So I can rest easy.

My burdenous brain
Broken neck
Heavy thoughts

I never meant to break your neck too