My music only gets slower
and my lyrics sadder
just as I do
I pour so much hope
and so much longing into you
Into believing that one day you will change your mind about leaving
leaving your family and yourself behind
with a crater too big for any of us to occupy
everyone else has adjusted their lives
to try and move on without you
I still house this great big hole in me
that only you can fill,
so all I can do is keep on sparing enough
hope for the both of us
At least you let me know you’re still alive every once and awhile.
when you hear the initial news
whether you throw your head back and wail to the heavens
or if you choose to mourn in silence
Please forgive me,
each time my thought brings tears
or ruins your mood for the day
Please forgive me,
when you question yourself over and over
wondering if you did enough
just be glad you got a chance to meet me
and if you cannot forgive me
I can forgive you for that
I think the saddest thing
is when someone stops longing to be understood
When you, a poet, lays down your pen
after too many unheard words
you stop going to therapy
because you have said all you can out loud
You stop faking your smile
and nobody notices,
maybe they knew it was fake all along
nobody reaches out once you stop asking about them first
In the end you’ll fade away just as you wished
They always remember you once your dead
I’m sorry if my words
don’t make much sense anymore.
Thanks for being here
I can’t seem to shake
the fog that has inhabited my brain.
I like to think that sometimes for days,
even weeks at a time
clouds will cover the sun,
Yet it still shines brighter than anything else
I pray my clouds will part
and allow the sun to kiss my skin once again
I just need to keep in mind that
the sun can hurt people too
How does one learn to love themselves
and the body they live in?
If I had the ability to rip this skin
from my being and throw it all away,
I would take myself apart
piece by piece,
right down to the soul
I would bare it for the world to see
so they can finally understand
it’s not all in my head.
Do you still want me?
Do you finally see me?
Trust me, neither do I.