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Baylee Kaye Jul 2018
this summer has been for insomnia.
nights where sleep cannot plague me,
and only music fills my ears.
at least I have found my company,
people to keep me at ease while I lay awake.
they see the sun, while I see the moon.
an ocean apart, one sunrise ahead of me.
it seems surreal that when I lay my head to rest,
they’re busy-ing themselves with a day.
though I’m happy they keep me company,
I’m grateful they bring a form of peace.
in their voice is familiarity.
their words can soothe me, because I know their voices so well.
their calming features helps my stiff muscles relax,
their sweet lullabies rock my gently.
insomnia is disheartening,
but it’s bearable when you have their company.
12:59am
Baylee Kaye Jul 2018
If I were to tell someone I was abused, I feel at first they would not believe me. They would demand to see the bruises, read the proof, look at the prescription.

But one thing society does not understand is that emotional and psychological abuse doesn’t have a word-for-word textbook definition. It can vary from person to person. What may be traumatic for one, may be harmless to another.

It’s because of this very concept that I’m lacking the help I need. I’m having to help myself deal with the burdens I can hardly even carry. Reminding myself that “I’m safe.” and there’s no way that they can get to me anymore is draining and exhausting.

My own parents would laugh at the idea of my suffering. I hate the thought but it’s how I feel. They would say, “but it’s been so long. you need to get over it already. it’s fine.” but what is it they don’t understand?

Forget the rhyme of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Words go deeper than any cut, actions linger than a broken bone, so why can’t they for once open their eyes and see that their daughter is broken inside?

Can they not see past my smiles and happiness? Even a happy person has scars too. Even a confident soul has burdens to carry. No one escapes from that fact of life.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life after I left you. But the things you did to me still hurt. And just because I’m the best I’ve ever been, does not mean I’m excluded from pain, and denied help.
it’s annoying and frustrating to be struggle with anxiety over something your family will just tell you to move on from. it’s easier said than done, it’s not like I can move out of my own mind.
Baylee Kaye Jul 2018
I was never one to listen to love songs,
I never had a reason to.
but the moment I laid eyes on you,
I longed to take in the lyrics in the dark,
with my fluttering heart and a great-big smile plastered on my face.
you made me a sappy school girl,
foolish and in love.
giddy and full of day dreams.
you made my summertime filled with sunshine,
your smile lit up the room,
and I wish we could both say “I do.”
fairytale summer romance
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
tonight I finally heard your voice.
the voice I’ve been curious about,
a sound I tried to create and imagine in my head, but none of my attempts compared to it.
it was more than I could’ve ever thought.
it was soft, it was smooth,
laced in control and humble superiority.
a voice my heart will sing for,
a song my mind will race because of.
I long to hear the chorus,
I yearn for it to be more,
but I will take what I can get.
I pray to listen to that voice a multitude more.
maybe in the future, I wish for you to sing for me.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
I found you and fell instantly.
you pulled me under, an undertow in the ocean.
you washed me in your unrelentingly charm.
seductive eyes. luring hands. tempting lips.
head tilted back, mouth ajar with a heavy sigh, eyes still locked and trained on mine.
you reach your own victory,
and it’s even in your name.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
why is it that I feel I know you,
even though you’re thousands of miles away?
it’s a thought that troubles me daily,
as if at some point and time we were one.
whenever I think about you,
I can’t...

it all feels too overwhelming,
too real, too personal.
like, when my mind wanders to you,
you know.
but how is this possible?

I see you in my dreams, I felt your warmth here.
and when I awoke my bed was cold,
it was cold and I was alone.
when I look at you I see a reflection of something familiar.
something I can’t put a finger to.
you feel so close to me and you shouldn’t.
you shouldn’t because I don’t know you.

I don’t know you.
déjà vu almost
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
I want to know what your hair looks like in the morning, see it’s natural state of being.
see it for what it usually is, minus the blondes and blues I want to see what’s truly you.
rustled from the bed sheets, twisted in a million different directions, lose strands framing your face.

I’m curious to what your hair is like in the morning.
what it looks like in its comfort, un-staged and not dolled up to perfection.
I want to see how it falls freely, it’s assigned color shining proudly after being dipped in dyes,
curled and straightened and braided and parted.

I want to see it done by the night, styled by the pillows and the position in which you slept.
I want to see how rest and peace paint you in all your morning glory.
I wonder how certain membs’ hair looks -completely natural- in the morning time.
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