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Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
sometimes I don’t know
how I am to talk to you
and I’m filled with guilt
know
Baylee Kaye Mar 2018
she was a snake,
discarded and diseased.
she crept into my mind,
wrapped herself around my being,
and suffocated me.

her coils embedded into my independence.
her poison polluted my blood.
she climbed up my throat and came from my mouth,
And soon she had me by the neck.

I gasped for my breath,
yet it had fled from me.
dry tears poured like a river,
and my mouth was filled with fear.

I pulled my arms to me tightly,
my body trembling with pain.
she now had me wrapped in her cruelty,
and like this I would stay.
to keep it short, this is about my abusive ex friend. we were friends for two years, hence the title “730+”
Baylee Kaye Jan 2019
your might is like a river
your unfailing power flows
readied arrows in the quiver
but it’s mercy you bestow
you don’t relish in the flesh
rather it’s delighting in the heart
for my life in turn be blessed
is the reason you take part
your love is what admires
my humbly surrendered name
what your soul desires
is your compassion made my fame
and it’s your conceit you abdicate
to transpose my wayward state
d.c.

I really wish to get better at sonnets. This year my resolution is to write a poem every single day, I’ve been following this well. I plan for the month of February to write sonnets to try and get better.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
I’m always afraid
afraid of losing my heart
and my heart is you
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
today I kissed you.
over and over again.
I hope you didn’t mind it,
I just couldn’t help but crave it,
after the first time.
your lips against my own felt so normal.
it felt like my own were molded to fit yours,
I wonder if you thought the same.
it was your first kiss,
you said you didn’t expect it,
and I’m sorry I was impatient,
but you looked so beautiful, so tempting.
my lips still burn with the desire you left on them,
every time I think about it my heart races.
and it’s only one kiss into forever.
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
our love is more than lust
you hold me gently and don’t let go
we have something special
something most don’t
we live a dream of a kingdom filled with gold
and a gift I give is reserved for you
so be careful with my precious delicacy
don’t break me
please don’t scar my heart
be careful with me
love me tenderly, don’t be rough
I beg of you with earnest
just be there when I need you
you’re all I need
I know that you love me so
it’s evident
all this time I knew full well
and I believe
all I have is what I’ll give
for exchange of your voice
you are all I know to love
this is all I know to know
no one ever taught me
the ways that are not you
all my love is all for you
you are my brightest light
my star
the universe is in your eyes
with dust of galaxies
I love your gentle gaze you bestow on me
and I’ll always look to you
eyes wet from tears
I’ll see you and be cured
all this time it was you
the source of healing
you take my pain
and you make it all go away
d.c.

basically, this piece isn’t meant to be structured perfect or make sense or follow any sort of rule or layout. this work is simply my words flowing in whatever word or pattern they come. I just wrote down whatever I was thinking in the moment, it’s an interesting writing tactic but honestly very raw because you’re not trying to make it perfect. you’re not trying to present an emotion in an unauthentic way, you’re just letting it all out without thinking, and that makes it much more raw and personal.
Baylee Kaye May 2019
you’re the breath that fills my lungs
and the fire inside my bones
you give reason to my woe
no matter how dark the night may seem
and you’re all that I need, all that I’ll need
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
I hear him every night in my dreams
whispering words I don’t understand
the way his sentence rolls off his tongue
leaves me translating his body language
because it’s the only language we know to speak
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
I want to know what your hair looks like in the morning, see it’s natural state of being.
see it for what it usually is, minus the blondes and blues I want to see what’s truly you.
rustled from the bed sheets, twisted in a million different directions, lose strands framing your face.

I’m curious to what your hair is like in the morning.
what it looks like in its comfort, un-staged and not dolled up to perfection.
I want to see how it falls freely, it’s assigned color shining proudly after being dipped in dyes,
curled and straightened and braided and parted.

I want to see it done by the night, styled by the pillows and the position in which you slept.
I want to see how rest and peace paint you in all your morning glory.
I wonder how certain membs’ hair looks -completely natural- in the morning time.
Baylee Kaye Jan 2019
when I fell in love, I became depressed. it snuck up on me, so subtly I hardly even noticed at first. I began to wonder what went wrong, or if anything had actually gone wrong. and nothing had.

I became depressed when I fell in love. not because of him. not because of what he did because he did everything right. I became depressed because I was afraid that I was messing up. ruining our relationship before it could even start. I was worried that I would **** this up, and I was scared because this was the one person I didn’t want to **** things up with.

and that’s why I began to be depressed, the moment I fell in love. the deepest realms of my mind began to tell me I wasn’t good enough for someone as perfect as him. that soon, he would leave me just like the rest of them. but he’s not like the others and I know that so well. he’s different in the fact that he loves me purely, not for some material reason. with all my heart I love him, and I know he loves me too, but these sinister parts of me haunt me to my core.

when I became depressed, I knew I was in love. such a morbid indicator but it meant something. it meant that for once I knew I had someone who loved me more than anyone else had. it meant that I loved them too. I loved them so much that I was afraid of ruining it. I dwelled on it so often I sent my mind spiraling out of control. an unhealthy cycle of doubt and worry. insecurity tangled with feelings of not being worthy enough. for how could I, someone so scarred, be entrusted to somebody so perfect?

I tiptoed on ice around my feelings that danced like ghostly figures. they whispered nothingness into my ear that I tried to push away, but couldn’t. I held so tightly onto the three words he spoke over and over and over to me, clinging with all my might that just maybe that warm feeling that radiated through me with each syllable would somehow overpower the darkness. and it did.

every time he said he loved me a stitch was sown onto my broken heart. each smile, every laugh slowly pieced me back together again. he fixed me, just as he promised. his gentle spirit, his kindness that brought me to my knees in tears and relief healed every broken thing inside of me. his constant reassurance, his selflessness and his patience in times I didn’t deserve it, fixed me. though doubts and fear still come my way, leaving me helpless and uneasy, I know that the darkness lies, and it always has.

when I fell in love, I became depressed. but the longer I loved, the more joy that began to fill my heart. with every tender touch and gentle whisper, he restored my soul again. and in loving him, one so perfect and kind, purified my heart to love without fear and to love him unconditionally. because I am enough. I’ve always been enough.
Baylee Kaye Dec 2018
you unravel me,
and i end up calling you master,
at the end of the night.
tell me what to do, how to behave.
touch me here, there, right there.
I give you permission to lose it.
you can do anything that you want to do,
to me.
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
when I fell in love on earth
I fell in love with heaven
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Dec 2018
his eyes
they’re calling me
lost in a grey-blue sea
pray they tell no lies

i fall
before him on my knees
begging pretty please
answer my call

loving you
every single day
when you throw your belt away
is all I do

the sound
of the buckle on the floor
makes me wish for more
of this love so profound

I know
you’ll waste no time
in this paradigm
to set our tempo
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
caves whisper to you better than
any man can.
they understand your
deepest desires and secrets.
the wind carries away every
sin and piece of guilt.
each crevasse is there to drown your sorrow.
under earth streams in place
to wash away the pain.
the caves are empathetic with your very being,
they do not boast in their knowledge of you,
but rather than cherish the memories
you share to them.
I’ve been in so many caves. Ones in Missouri, Arkansas, Texas, Kentucky...each one has healed me in different ways. Truly they are a gift from God.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
my eyes shot open and terror gripped my bones
I breathed heavily through my nose, eyes scanning my dark room.
with my chest heaving, my fingers fumbled for my phone;
with a click the brightness illuminated my face
quickly, I found your name but I hesitated,
fearful of disturbing you, bogging you down with my own horror.
but I had no other choice. at that time you were my only source of calm.
the dial rung one, two, three times and when you answered I felt relief.
hearing your voice my breath at last evened,
and my heart slowed.
you comforted me whispering I was okay and you were right there.
the gentleness found in your essence, I relaxed.
your quiet presence held me closely under the bend of tired vocal cords.
without any question you decided to stay with me
and as if I had come and crawled in beside you in your bed,
you planted a kiss on my head and wrapped me in your warm embrace.
soothing me you surfaced the calm within me
and there was no maybe in your commitment to stay.
hushing, quieting, lulling and rocking me to sleep
I felt your protection, I knew I was safe,
and the safety in your arms will never disappear.
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2018
His eyes were soft,
his voice, tender.
The way he tipped his head at me,
how I melted at the site.

His chocolate locks fell freely,
dangling loosely across his eyes.
We paused for a moment, frozen.
I smiled. He breathed.

This has happened more than once,
making my point more damning.
That his chocolate eyes and locks,
locked once with mine.
moments with a stranger.
I opened a locked door for him, he breathed "thank you" with a kept-in breath.
Our eyes met, I smiled and nodded and we carried on.
Baylee Kaye May 2019
you feel distant
but at the same time so close
a thousand miles away
and also nose to nose
my heart feels like it’s breaking
but also as if it smiles
the daytime feels like darkness
yet the darkness feels like light
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
would he love a girl decorated in tattoos,
even if his skin was pale and clear as snow?
I wonder if he maybe would be repulsed by the idea of art displayed on the curves of my given canvas, that maybe to him it’s a pitfall.
could he look past my painted temple,
perhaps even learn to cherish the pieces I adore?
I hope and pray, that someday, he’ll even love them too.
I love tattoos and wish to have many in the future. This piece is written in concern that if a future partner dislikes tattoos will they dislike me too?
Baylee Kaye Jul 2019
all I know is that I love with a love that is different
giving all, taking none
yet sometimes everything feels a little twisted
I find myself selfishly needing the validation
the validation I usually on speak towards another
I crave the feeling of deep connection
on levels beyond the physical
please give the affirmation I silently scream for
don't you see that all my dependence stems from words I don't hear?
I nag at your mouth to try to understand the whispers
I hate that I need it but its all I've needed
a five minute, unstructured  free write
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
I am a lover
from the deepest parts of me
of words and of you
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
kisses in slow motion,
breathe me in quietly.
pull me close to your skin,
hold me warm and tight.
let your love flood my senses,
and overload my mind with affection.
feel my body pressed close,
wrap your arms around my waist,
under the covers.
cravings
Baylee Kaye Apr 2019
I'm tired of fighting for your affection
an attention that never comes
I look forward in anticipation
only to be met with disappointment
that you don't take romantic leads
why do I bother
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
I don’t want your memory to fade
I don’t want to be left bleeding
if you ever walk away, I would break
the colors I see would be shades of grey
a sledgehammer to my heart,
brute and burning
a fear of a door slammed shut
and I left on my knees drowning in my sorrow
my heaven turned to hell the moment you left
I don’t want our love to be a battlefield
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
is silence stronger
than words that end up empty
or do you hear them?
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
can we dream about the future,
without living in the now?
can we please just fantasize,
about what we want to be,
instead of where we are,
will you dream with me?
please
Baylee Kaye Aug 2018
I have learned:

1. your past does not define you. yesterday’s mistakes are not today’s. we can always be better.

2. be humble. do not boast in how you look or how you dress. do not brag in your talents or your skills. you can be proud, but do not become prideful. always stay kind.

3. do not let someone else define your worth, talent or value because of what they do or do not give you.

4. be patient. all good things come in time and never stop working hard in what you’re striving to achieve.

5. words and music connect us. don’t ever stop telling stories, always keep writing, always keep sharing.

6. love your friends and family hard. appreciate them everyday and never give up on them.

7. you are cherished even if you feel like you’re not seen. when you don’t think your parts matter, widen your perspective and look at the bigger picture. they can’t make it happen without you.

8. you are more than just a body or face. your heart and soul is more beautiful than any outward appearance could ever be. don’t let first impresses be limited to only physical.

9. it’s okay to show affection to those that you love. let them know how you feel, and don’t be afraid to love big.

10. hard work and determination always pay off, even if it takes a while. you will get to where you’re going if you’re diligent and passionate. don’t wait to follow your dreams.

11. laugh loud. don’t worry about what others may think of you, happiness isn’t to be confined, you’re meant to express it.

12. let yourself be loved by others. you can’t give until you’ve been filled, always let others pour into you with adorations and affections so you can do the same.

13. don’t let people look down on you because you are young, don’t let them limit your potential because of your age. your young age does mean you’re any less talented, wise or valued than those older than you.

14. be confident in who you are. there is no one else on Earth like you, be proud of the progress you’ve made.

15. being quiet is okay, being reserved does not mean you’re lacking anything. there is beauty in the silence.

16. always express yourself. express your feelings and your love. don’t repress them.

17. don’t let a set back keep you down forever. rest, recover and jump right back where you left off. work hard, practice hard.

18. love yourself and love your friends more. never stop learning and always keep growing.
nct
Baylee Kaye Nov 2018
I love you,
in the strangest way one could.
my heart longs for you,
but I know you’re far from my reach.
everything is different,
when I am with you.
I want you to cherish me,
maybe love me too.
but I know that’s not how you are.
I want you to live up to your name,
be enDearing, because you’re winsome.
be enchanting and gentle.
but everything is polar opposite.
I pray you bear no malice,
hold no ill intent inside your heart.
but o, how pretentious the knave is!
woe, a look of haughty disdain.
I want to give you my gift,
wrapped tenderly in years of refinement.
though I fear you would not accept it humbly.
you take me lightly, just another prize.
a dozen shots you’ve drank,
when I’ve drank not one.
your lips on mine, uninvited.
but soon warmly welcomed with their craft.
what makes you special,
is what I think on.
from one mouth I learned you defended me.
spoke up for my aching mind,
when I was no where near.
I sense your callousness breaking,
as earnest eyes begin to leak.
I meander through this labyrinth,
weaving in and out of all these chances.
so please don’t scar my heart,
not when I open up so much to you.
I let myself feel when I’m with you.
letting you touch my skin, but also my soul.
is this all just some gods experiment?
an experiment where I have no say.
where I’m given paradise,
but only for a day.
i saw your eyes

(last four lines rewritten from Written in the Stars, they are not my own idea)
Baylee Kaye Jan 2019
i love to read what you write me
seeing how your mind works,
figuring out your style.
it's a pure form of beauty,
learning how you think and
articulate your emotions,
and how you express the thoughts you have.
i'll never grow tired of your mind,
for how can something so beautiful ever be mundane?
d.c.

te amo mucho
Baylee Kaye Sep 2018
you give me a paradise of feeling,
a rushing blood flow,
pounding heartbeat,
a smile as wide as the oceans.

my love for you is from east to west,
never-ending and unceasing.
it is infinitely and limitlessly untamable.
no force can pry the adoration from my hands.

your eyes are my utopia.
they contain the universe,
the dust of the stars reside in their hue,
the galaxies circulate in your gaze.

I seem to never grow tired of you,
your essence calms the storms inside of me.
tonight I listen to your voice,
and I will overdose on euphoria.
he’s the cause of my euphoria
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
my heart breaks for what breaks yours
everything I am falls apart with you
let me be your refuge and your strength
I will give you all of me for all my days
so long as you trust me with your heart
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Nov 2018
just because I enjoy solitude doesn’t mean I feel alone.
sometimes for me silence is what soothes my soul.
truly, when I’m off by myself I’m not in part, but in whole.
I can finally sit in my creative throne.
I can reflect on the past and see how I’ve grown.
I honestly prefer not parting my lips,
but rather, I like to keep my pen going in my fingertips.
because in my solace I write in my own tone.
I favour the quiet over the noise.
I’d much rather be my own one and only.
for when in silence I am full of poise.
because when I’m alone I am not lonely.

I feel as if you already should’ve known,
I am not lonely when I’m alone.
a shakespearean sonnet I wrote back in february
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
I erased all the words about him
yes, removed completely from my works
because shame is all I feel when I look back
a guilt so heavy and repressed
so quieted and tucked away
I pledge to myself I must never mention it
and vow to try and rid the wicked from my mind
mistakes I’ve made and made again
sorrows so burdensome that I not even look
that myself, so ignorant and blind
dare toss away a future for a moment
I shudder at my folly
I wonder why I was so blind then
so swept up in a great faux pas
how naive I was! how childlike and gullible
this I must confess
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
all I feel is alone
dark is the only thing crashing through
I want to be found
I need someone to carry me
because I am all alone
someone please rescue me
Baylee Kaye Sep 2018
brows knit in aggression
he a predator, I his prey
my head bowed to him,
his eyes locked solely on me.

I felt his warmth come closer,
I sensed his every move.
the way his eyes were dark with power,
left me breathless and afraid.

I craved this kind of pleasure,
the kind derived from pain.
and as I felt his fingers coil on me,
the churning turned to flame.

my desire was unrestrained,
uncontrollable and overwhelming.
only he could put my fire,
with the touch of burning care.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2018
Chocolate flowed right from his lips.
Dripping down the dampened ships.
My tongue awakened.
My bones they ached and,
the melted chocolate, still it drips.
someone tell me why I’m writing so much about chocolate...I think it’s since it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I’ve eaten so many fine chocolates, they remind me of emotions. They’re addictive.
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
have I become mundane?
are my “I love you’s” monotonous?
am I just a hopeless case?
I try to have an optimistic outlook
but as days pass, everything comes up empty
and I don’t know how the hell to do this
I’m making it up as I go and nothing works
and I pretend to know what I’m doing
but in reality I’m flying blinded
dear evan hansen inspired
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
dance with me.

take my hand in your own.

spin me slowly in the light of the moon.

pull me close to you.

hold me here, right here.

whisper in my ear that you love me.

let your fingertips wander across my skin.

light a fire in my bones.

make my lips go numb with your taste.

focus on me, keep your eyes focused on me.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
when I called your name
you came running to be beside me
no matter the hour
you’re always there
holding me during my storm
all of my fears fade away
when I’m in your arms and love
you’re my shield and cornerstone
you don’t hesitate when my horror is too much
you whisper gently in my ear that all is alright
that you’re there and I’m safe with you
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
I walk a lonely road lined with freesias,
red and yellow of all shades.
I stop to pick a few, I lift them to my nose.
extending some to you,
I’m met with knit brows,
confusion floods my face as you turn
and walk away.
I set down my bouquet of flowers,
a gift I picked just for you,
and turned away so soon.
Baylee Kaye Nov 2018
my hurting heart loves both sides
all the little children each opinion carries
I long to love them all individually
heal their brokenness at every checkpoint
for a belief is not a label
and a war is not a home
come, let us reason together
let every tongue and tribe make peace
all as one can we fellowship at the table
share our minds and hear the other’s
please, the time has come for peace
too many years of opposition,
too much bloodshed and violence
how many lives is liberation worth?
the freedom of all people,
the hope of all nations.
let peace start in the rising generations,
to ensure that peace will last.
israeli/palestinian conflict
Baylee Kaye Oct 2018
it is my heart language.
a tongue my soul needed to flourish.
one that only I could come to find,
a language that I needed to discover for myself.
in uncovering this alone,
I was able to grow more,
more than if it was my native speech.

though it may not be my mother tongue,
spiritually it is a part of me, it always has been.
I needed a trigger, an experience,
to unearth this buried part of my existence.
I was meant to speak this language,
one many may speak,
but few understand to its depth and its core.

it is a God given gift,
one He meant for me to find in my solace,
a part of my soul He waited eagerly for me to find.
when I found this part of myself,
I understood my trials and my pains.
this tongue erased my scars, healed my wounds.
it buried my shame, and unveiled my soul.
perfection
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
I saw your beauty,
and I could not breathe.
speechless, breathless, helpless—
air suctioned right from my lungs,
dry and barren, only my eyes were alive.
I relish in the sight before me,
worshipping with sinful habits.
I fell to my knees,
peering up through my lashes to meet your gaze.
my mouth watered and my body trembled,
begging with my eyes to have my wish granted.
you knew all that I wanted,
and all I wanted you gave to me.
d.c.
Han
Baylee Kaye Aug 2018
Han
the water lapped about my waist,
the coolness stung my skin.
I sat upright on the shore, eyes closed,
my body taking in the feeling.

I felt the sand seep around me,
stick to my limbs and cling to me.
I focused on my breathing and my heartbeat,
I listened closely to the noise that surrounded.

I heard the waves hit the bank,
I flinched at the occasional siren, and prayed for the safety of those it aided.
I counted car horns and footsteps.
I tuned out any voice in my head.

Becoming one with the river,
forming as one into the earth,
I sat still on the banks of the water,
in a city where the river ran through it.
Baylee Kaye Mar 2019
you are the sculpture
sculpted from purity and clay
your edges, gilded and refined
rough spots smoothed away with patience
a loving-kindness molding your temple of modesty
I make my declaration of loyalty
a vow to love your ever changing frame
your body crafted by empires of dirt and grace
life breathed to your lungs by righteousness
what once was stone is now a alive
with color lighting your babe-like skin
you stand with liberation
because paralyzing stone makes you no more
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
I got lucky when I stumbled upon you.
some call it fate, some even destiny,
but for me I call it chance.
though I know you now, the thought that I could’ve looked over you, chosen someone else, terrifies me.
to think I wouldn’t know your voice, your laughter, that I would have traded it for somebody different, is a concept I wish to not know.
I’m fortune to love you, adore you, support you.
I took a leap of faith when I decided on you,
it could’ve been anyone else,
out of billions of souls it could’ve been another,
but instead the stars aligned us,
us and only us.
to love, to live, to lead.
to give, to be, to receive.
for this fact I am forever and eternally grateful,
to have found you that one afternoon,
and to take a chance and choose to pursue
relief is all I feel when I look at you.
Baylee Kaye Jun 2018
why is it that I feel I know you,
even though you’re thousands of miles away?
it’s a thought that troubles me daily,
as if at some point and time we were one.
whenever I think about you,
I can’t...

it all feels too overwhelming,
too real, too personal.
like, when my mind wanders to you,
you know.
but how is this possible?

I see you in my dreams, I felt your warmth here.
and when I awoke my bed was cold,
it was cold and I was alone.
when I look at you I see a reflection of something familiar.
something I can’t put a finger to.
you feel so close to me and you shouldn’t.
you shouldn’t because I don’t know you.

I don’t know you.
déjà vu almost
Baylee Kaye Jul 2019
I want to feel desired
once again
I want that feeling of yearning
for my heart and my body
for it is not a crime that I crave your affection
your skin upon my own
something once given so openly
but now seemingly vanished
I want to hear “I want you”
and for me to know just what you mean
I’m patiently waiting for you
to come back to me
to desire me once more
I want you, and I want you to want me too
him
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
him
with his love I’m surely freed,
given a life beyond me.
he takes my pain, makes it his very own,
now bearing the weight at my side.
all I do, is for You, for the love, You give to me.
behold the man who loves me free.
I was dead now brought to life.
his love rescued me.
in the deepness of the nights,
he lays quiet at my side.
and when I’m bound with fear,
he reminds me that he is near.
d.c.
Baylee Kaye Feb 2019
I fell deeper into the touch you gave me
a colorful darkness surrounded my mind
my breath was aligned, my soul cried out
every inch I felt of you left me breathless
your warmth became my addiction
I craved it more and more
I pressed into your hand upon my skin
as it etched it’s loving claim on me
the gentleness that fueled your affection
made my body yearn so deeply
all I seem to do is ache without you
a dull pain permanently resides
between my ribs and on my skin
no medicine or elixir
could ever cure me of this ache
only a touch of your skin upon my own
could wipe away every pain
you do it time and time again
every time I breathe you in
and your every press on my skin
is what cures my every sting
I hold no fear of death when you hold me
all my anxiety is washed away
I only felt the then and there
because I couldn’t get enough of you
and my prayer is for this to be our forever
d.c.
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