My name is _ and I have an eating disorder.
I am __ years old, five foot-something, 157 lbs, blue eyes, brown hair, & no thigh gap.
I go to the gym five to six days a week.
I have a degree, I work full time in a managerial position, and I have a eating disorder.
You cannot see my bones, you cannot see the space between my thighs, you cannot see the rings underneath my eyes for all the thousands of tears I have cried.
I struggle with something real, something people rarely talked about, no one reveals.
Punishment, self affliction, addiction, no type of healing medical prescription.
I don't eat, I eat, I binge, I drink, I purge, I cry, and still I try.
I try to battle every day, "don't count those **** calories" I say. "You know better" they cry but I remark, "Do I?"
All I know of is to hate, hate myself, my body, a disgusting self image that I formulate.
You see beauty, you see curves.
All I see
Is something that no one deserves. A body of disgust, a fat piece of skin.
As a 157 lbs living a 300 lb within.
- [ ]