I was a total failure
In solving mathematics
Driven by chaos and fear
Confused and neurotic...

Maa was very upset
As Paa would always mock
Saying "this darling asset
Has plenty of maternal stock"..

I struggled with algebra
Geometry, trigonometry
Putting many hours extra
To logic and symmetry...

The teacher would scorn
Calling me "an egg head"
Feeling insulted and forlorn
I walked without a friend...

Suddenly came a saviour
Taught maths with ease
Told me not to labour
Instead to be at peace...

He guided me to meditate
To calm my distraught mind
He helped me to concentrate
And self confidence I did find...

Slowly I overcame my fear
The numbers now made sense
As the exam date drew near
I was brimming with confidence...

My marks were good yet not high
Heart was singing, mind was light
Maa relieved, pa said with a sigh
"At last paternal blood is in sight"..

I bowed before my teacher
Eyes blurred with tears
"One day you will feature
On a show down the years"...

I was surprised at my fate
Went on to become a banker
Numbers were now my mate
Dancing everday on my fingers...

True to his prophecy
I participated in a talk show
Wherein I spoke of mercy
To all the students who feel low....

Here's a piece of my mind
A puzzle that is me
I'm a little blind
And all of my thoughts are lost in a sea
But that's a little part of my mind

I seem fierce and confident
But in actuality, I'm the opposite
This mindset is not always constant
Everything in me is like a conglomerate
But that's just a little part of my mind

One minute my mind is a green meadow
The next is a burning forest screaming
Everyone in the afterglow
Meanwhile, I feel I am a nightmare dreaming
But that's just a little part of my mind

Every day I feel my heart-breaking
Craking more little by little
The pain becoming backbreaking
Wanting me to go to a hospital
But that's just a little part of my mind

In the end, on the other hand, I try
With only one savior in the waiting love
I've tried many times to say goodbye
But I can't because of the want, thereof
Hidding the pieces of my mind

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

even with oceans between us,

       I’ll swim against the tide
            to lie
               against
                 your heartbeat

once again.

Love wasn't how I imagined it was.
Love wasn't like those romance books I read.
Love is complicated but trying.
Love wasn't all happiness and butterflies.
Love is sometimes fighting, wanting to run away but knowing everything is still better when standing by their side.
Love didn't mean you won't ever be alone again.
Love is sometimes lonely, lying in your own bed, willing time to go faster.
Love is sometimes being alone because you know you can't ask them to be there with you all the time.
Love didn't cure my sadness.
Love comforted it.
Love is trying to understand and understanding even when it's breaking your heart.
Love wasn't easy.
Love is hard.
Love isn't what I wanted, but love is enough.
Love cares.
Love loves.
Love isn't perfect but it is still beautiful.

I let them to hold my heart
I didn´t see their masked faces
I thought they keept it save
From my inner pain
But they break it
In many pieces.