No matter how many times I've taken this path
I always get lost in my wandering
full grown girl, but I feel like a half
missing you and always pondering.
The gravel is course
sweat gatherers on my brow
like a stuck object meeting an unstoppable force
logical incompatibility, we are now.

Foolish vacation
deforestation
into the lack of everything.
Goodbye summertime
goodbye railroad signs
goodbye life giving green.

You used to follow me to this sanctuary
you'd stroll and I'd stay stationary
alone and stalked by your fantasy
diseased since January.
I feel guilty, for having such sick thoughts
holding you for ransom in my brain
hope I don't get caught.
Yesterday you called me insane,
Wednesday, I was a vision, suppose you forgot.

I'm making myself sick
always mean without meaning to be
repairing fatality with a stitch.
Made of tooth and claw
and violently scratching at an itch.

Do you think deer on the highway
causing major collisions,
still get a heaven
are they afforded such visions?
Of paradise with no interruption
for a creature that brought on such destruction
but never meant to harm a living thing.

I'm floating away
and everything around me feels heavy
please tell me why
I'm always spoken to
before I am ready.
I want to be loved
can't seem to put in the work
bottled up my emotions,
here is my cork.
So many strange words and feelings
here is my quirk.
Give you my soul and my body
here is my hurt.

Don't think I'll go on, but I can
my mother is kicking me out
and I've never had a plan.
Fizzled out with your opening
crushed like a soda pop can
so insecure, pushed you away
because you know just who I am.

On such a breathless downward spiral
and I think I'll stay here a while.
baggy shirts and sunken eyes
has become my style.
I'm a muddled, mangy mess, no surprise
I think I'll just stay a child
be soft in my stride
for just a little while
until I learn to get by.

Pinky promises
and praying to goddesses
a picture of your friends on the sagging shelf
and I know I love you
so much more than you could ever,
ever love yourself.
We plucked wild bluebells
and got sick in the winter-time breeze
I'll pick you up
when you fall down
I'll patch up the scrapes on your knees.

Sugar coated candy
turned into your mother's brandy
still over indulged
but I will be here
year after year
you'll always have someone to hold.
Takeout boxes,
a key in your locks and
always a place for me in your coral sheets
we roam the city in outfits too tight
we hold hands in the streets.

Only a fool
when I'm in your room, lose our cool
laughing as our middles concave
with your hand in mine
I've always felt so brave.
We were girls together
and that will never change.