I guess I could call you too, but I won't
for fear that
I will choke on the joke that was our relationship.
Or rather, relationSHIT.
Because that's what it was,
****, I let you play me
Like a broken record that skips,
I let you skip through the courtship period and straight
After one week,
because I was so weak.
So I gave you the only real thing I had left of me -
And now you're gone, and I don't know where you are.
All I know is that you're not far
from where you should be.
But you're not.
And you still leave me
Even after all you've put me through,
I can't help myself,
Can't stop thinking of you,
And what you have of me,
And worrying I'll never see you again.
So can't we go backwards?
Back to that day on the bus
When we were innocent strangers.
Can't we start over
and make this **** better?
Because I was actually starting to like you.
Maybe even fall for you.
But no, I don't say things like that after one week.
But, like I said, you make, or rather made, me weak.
And now I am drained.
So yes, I guess I could call you too.
But I won't.
Because I know
on the lie
that was "us."