Today was the day I found reasoning.  
Reasons to all the madness you've bestowed me.  
It was true, the spark was not there anymore.  
But the deceitful lies should have been saved for yourself.  
I didn't need false hope to be okay with you again.  
A friendship would have sufficed.  
But you're so selfish that you thought you wanted more.  
Instead you've left me here again.  
Guessing why I wasn't good enough this time.  
The truth is the complete opposite though.  
Were you good enough for me?
After all these years of self-improvement on my part.. You're still the same.  
You don't know what you want, as far as love goes.  
You will never be satisfied if you're always expecting something from nothing.  
Love can't be forced, I understand that..
But a friendship after so many years of being close,
That would have been ideal.  
You wanted the whole thing.  
You wanted the comfort, the love.
You wanted all of these things from someone who was trying desperately to love themselves.
Someone who didn't even feel comfort in their own skin.
Boy oh boy did you let your colors shine this time.  
It's true, I am very devestated.. Losing you was hard for me.
Realizing that I was putting you on a pedestal where you didn't belong, is the worst part.  
Realizing that I have wasted my time and love on something, never to be appreciated, kills me.
But God works in the most beautiful ways.  
I prayed for him to show me who you really were, because of my doubts.
He answered my prayers the day you called me and said you couldn't do it anymore.  
I know it was her, the reason you left me.. the one that you believe got away...
But just wait and see, one day that girl will be me

Just got out the hospital
These pills took control.
I'm sitting here with a sore throat
From a tube filled with charcoal.
I took 20 pills
I guess it wasn't quite enough.
The pills dared me to take them
I actually called their bluff.
They call out to me
They say I should end it all.
They say they could heal me
They say they won't let me fall.
They claim they could end the pain
They'll take away the misery.
These are the things I hear
When my pills are calling me.
My pills promise me peace
They promise me tranquility.
They tell they'll help me
But I listen with uncertainty.
My Father will be disappointed
My Mother would cry.
The pills tell me
Be selfish
You know you want to die.
My kids would be devestated
My wife might blame herself.
My pills say forget them
Only think of yourself.
Think of this pain
That you really want to end.
My pills tell me they love me
They are my true friends.
My pills have only my best interests
They claim they'll help me through.
They tell me:
Robert we want to get this
Dark cloud away from you.
My pills say the best release is
For me to be dead.
Are they really calling me
Or is it all in my head?
Maybe one day I'll listen
Next time they call for me.
I just hope the pills will do as promised
Take away the pain completely.

Press ******* beneath your ear,
Feel the swift pulse of a lover's kiss,
The devestated trickle of a meandering tear,
The muted thump that accompanies a crinkled eye
And the halted thud, seized by fear.
Feel your heart steadily beating.
This is it:
Living.

We march.
Broken.
Devestated.
Deprived.
Unaware of our destination.

So as an act
Of bravery,
Of sadness or
Of fear.

But all we do,
Everywhere we go
We still need a purpose
We still need our motivation

To escape and live
To re start and re gain
To achieve and destroy
To become and to forget.

But till we find our destination,
We try to die,
We try to intoxicate
But lack to be remembered after death.

We march
For nothing
For the faded
For the shattered
For a forgotten cause

She wears mascara to hide her flaws
While her flaws find comfort in her empty soul
They fester inside and cut deep
She faces internal insecurity
Hating who she is supposed to be
Her inner beauty ugly as her attitude
Lacking the ability to show gratitude
Angry because it has never been appreciated
It's only been abused by men who left her feeling devestated
Heart broken and alone she found beauty in her mascara as it hid her ****** errors
At least it covered her deepest fears
Wiped her heaviest tears
Her mascara became a mask full of errors

Only true love would get her to take it off...

From the years of 1931 to 1949 I lived as a cat named buddy in the dunbar household in unley in Adelaide
It was a fabulous life, running around the yards and drains expecting people to give me a saucer of cream
My owners names were Patrick dunbar and Georgina dunbar with one son named Jonithan used to pick me up and tickle me on the tummy and stroke me as I purred on the lounge room floor listening to the radio shows and the hit parades,
In this life I used to drink water from a bowl like an animal and my grandfather (pop) used to give me tea from a saucer
In memory of when I was buddy I wasn’t scared as an adult in this life when I went out to play and that is because I was having previous life memories as buddy
And in the 90s I was having hallucinations of Patrick playing with me and jonithan in the form of my friend Patrick in this life
Patrick and jonithan dunbar loved mucking around like two free boys and I sat on both their knees while they were saying to me
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Tommy used to say a lot of the time
That he was smart kid yeah mate
Patrick used to put me out at 8-30 every morning and that is when I ate catnip
Jonithan used to follow me around saying
Come on buddy
What’s that buddy
Come on buddy
I used to catch mice to keep them out of the house and yard
It was basically the same roster day in day out, Tommy studied to be a scientist
And I used to sit on the window looking in on him doing experiments and my spirit made him pass for 4 years
In 1949 may 16th when Tommy was in University buddy died and Tommy was devestated and I went on to help the future which I found hard to do but as graham, grant, and Brian I and surviving
R I P buddy 18 years