For so long I've waited for you to notice me.
Your hair has turned gray from the stress,
lost hope is marked on your face.  
I wonder if deception or courage is to blame.

The missed train
the last stop—the getaway—

Every run reflecting your cowardliness
How dare you abandon me in this hollow place,
holding the key of faith and opportunities.


Copyright© Cynthia Ulloa
All rights reserved.

She's tapped into another realm
Sitting on top of the world
Resonating the astral plane
At least in my mind
She's above me
So divine

A crown wrapped in flowers and gold
Diamonds in the sky
Cut through the noise
and crack down to shatter the Earth
Looking pretty amongst the chaos

She catches my eyes to bring the temptation of the Goddess
Always within reach
but afraid to touch
to release
Let go of everything

This is where our souls intertwined
The tango of our 9-5
Looking forward to breaks in reality
Our survival mechanisms
From the bottom to top
Where her crown connects realms of telepathic foreplay
A mindfuck of sorts
Black and blue balled by the true cowardliness of reality.

bodes well..so well

in shadows we are crawling
in secret we make vows
in total silence we learn of all things

bodes well...so well

wars shall end the earth soon
wars of madmen's greed

wars allowed by our lazy carelessness
our cowardliness
our own greed

bodes well.so well

knowing what matters

again

knowing eachother
and bidding

to do eachother

well

again

My thoughts stopped visiting my brain.
My imagination got lost somewhere in the infinity of my aloneness but I don't feel loneliness.
I'm a walking comatose and I feel so futile, so deterrent of myself.
But I guess these feelings are inevitable.
Maybe I'm too afraid to sit in a sail boat without a paddle and drift into the sea.
Maybe the circumspec of my cowardliness, has dived so deep into the depths of mind.
I don't feel alive, I don't feel alone,
I don't feel numb anymore.
I used to believe that pain was the God of life.
For if pain didn't exist, I wouldn't know what being alive meant.
Not even if it shrunk into a tiny razor blade and cut an entrance on scars or scabs on my body.
To rediscover past wounds and lessons learned.
Just to make me feel humility or little more human.
Maybe I'm just caught in between that moment before unconsciousness strikes.
When the lack of oxygen slowly expires.
As you gasp for air and grasp for something to breath life back into your soul again.

The only thing I have left is my sadness
The jagged pieces of myself scattered across the floor
I wish there was something else
I wish I could do something other than fall apart
But it seems I have no choice

Could blame it on my brain
Irony gets me once again
For I try to avoid weakness, cowardliness
But in doing so I make myself just that:
Weak and pitiful to think any different