The world roared in '94,
When I was born, the skies were torn,
Tiny horns but wore a halo,
Depict horrific sides of angels,

Thunder rumbled, lightning struck,
Hunted, humbled, blinded, stuck,

Turned my back on shining doors,
The world roared in '94-

I silently burn
But my ashes are just sweat
I drink from my urn
But all I taste's regret*

I dont think of you lately
I dont notice these changes
I've lost control of my anger
I feel us both start to hate me
I feel us both become strangers
My clothes are all cloaked in anguish
I use these ******* erasers
Everytime I'm mistaken
Take my loss and keep racing
To find out where this flame takes me
An absolute embrace
Of all of my damnation
Steady taking a step back
Surveying situations
Tired of *******
Finding where this flame may take him

I silently burn
But my ashes are just sweat
I drink from my urn
But all I taste's regret
I thank you for your time
And stumble before I fall
Weeping worlds into existence
Just incinerate it all

Some things never change
    


      The circular stains on the ceiling above my heart shaped bed didn't exist under that rule

  Sometimes they *seemed constant
           And sometimes that made me feel ok
            
        But other times, as I lay in bed,
            Somewhere near the halfway point between laying down and falling asleep,
       I stared up at them and they moved
         Left and right
Ellipsing each other,
    Becoming ovaloid in shape

Sometimes they simply flitted away, vanished


    I thought them gone,
But they continued to return.

They would not be so remorseless as to leave and not look back to see the blank space they had left.

     So my little circular stains stayed for a while.

    I was happy looking up in wonder at something I could never understand but never dared question.

   Until one day I simply wasn't. My interest in the stains steadily faded until I began to drift off on my side staring out the window, searching for owls I could hear but not see. These sounds made me hope.

They made me open the windows I had locked tight.
They made me breathe.
    
    Those sounds lull me to sleep even now.

*And I've stopped looking for the circles completely

Ripping the pages away from my brain
And out of eyesight
I focus in on the pain
Its waves are soothing
They wipe away the ink stains leaving a clean slate

I DO NOT focus on the memories of every single word
Only the important ones that seldomly occured
Love
Of course
Without which where would I be?
Weak and weary watching these waves wash over me.

But these words are just characters
They die off often and can be replaced
But the memories they brought with them,
The ones of your face...

Are gone.

But your love remained.

Boostin' and we're mobile
But we still don't see no bars
Laugh it off in the back of the car
Smoking cigars
Whole lotta trouble lately that's been creepin in my mind
Cash low ******* status when I get into a bind
Settle balances breaking tablets in half just to unwind
Knock over knock-offs inching my self from suicide
I told myself that I'd do this suppose it's do or die
Cause I'm cracking under pressure influenced youth who will ride
Down to make this money they don't want me to make
I'm prone to make mistakes taking steps that I hate
Toward the door with more in store than what they see on my plate
But how do they expect me to eat?
No one's feeding me grapes
Palm fronds fannin' my face
Can't relate
To the ******* they paint
Fade to gray










This has been a public broadcast

If I stood in our doorway
   With the light against my back
          Would you answer me a question
              If I gathered the courage to ask?

If I whispered to these four blank walls
Of how Time scared me more than death
Would you laugh at me in pale moonlight
As I draw ragged breath

                                   "That stuff kills you!" They all say
But by then they've failed to listen
           The hands are broken, the clock tipped over
*But I still hear it ticking!