Do you understand my frustration
Or should I hand you a pile of ash
To crumble to pieces in your hand
To demonstrate what my life is doing.

I saw her swing from 22 stars
she drank moon blood and whispered,
“the body burns in suffering,
but you are a ghost”

in love she boasts four crystals
plain face

a thieving crawl,
loneliness her wicked coat

*my honey drank poison
drank sleep and wickedness
and wed in sickness

The void said I own nothing but chrysanthemums
while they tore roses through open air
(the earth angels are coming)

"I hope nothing but holiness touches you
and that the blessed is not of man. Not of his rib"

*"—no helper to mankind"

I see children play in urban decay
Boarded up homes with dirt and grime
Certainly not pleasing to the eye
Gray urban sprawl glares at me
Even the trees depress me
A closed door to a once-upon-a-time
That faded away into grime
Afternoon turns into evening
The foreboding wind whistles through
Forcing the trees to blow askew
On a past we once knew

His heart belongs
to the sad-eyed girl
who knows her worth
but never asks for it,
who knows that sun will fall
no matter where she is;
the one whose music is only fit
for slow dancing,
the one who will hold him
like her favorite book
and never let go.

(j.a.t.m.)

in my dreams
there is a gigantic tree outside my window
with branches that sprawl
making the sky look cracked
giving the appearance of the cosmos
a new perspective.

in my dreams
i climb the tree
to see the world
to touch the stars
to observe life from
a new perspective.

in my dreams
i climb the tree
to escape the
harshness of reality
because this is better; it’s
a new perspective.

in my dreams
i climb the tree
to escape the
hopelessness and helplessness
of reality; to obtain
a new perspective.

in my dreams
i climb the tree
to find happiness;
enough for the
world to watch
a new perspective.

i wake up
from my dreams
because in order
to make positive change
you have to have
a new perspective.

We all have problems

You think I want this?
You think I'm happy?
That I'm okay?
That I don't go home, clenched fists
Screaming an ever so painful silence
because why fight when you know you've lost?
That a storm doesn't rage when I pass a mirror?
That my laughter heals the scars?
Do you think it's easy?

We all have problems
and you don't know mine.

I look around and all I see is love
Something that brings happiness to all
Except me
I look around and I see people hugging
I see people holding hands and kissing
I will never have that
I will never have the one
Love is a gift that I don't have
It is a gift I'll never have
I want to be loved by someone
But no one wants to love me

The scent of your hair still lingers at my fingertips.

I hadn't felt **** like this yet. Soft caresses and sweet kisses turned bitter by your doubtfulness. Doubtful of yourself initially, eventually landing on my doorstep like an eviction letter. I had to escape. I didn't feel held in your arms. Your touch felt cold as tears fought through stubbornness. Waves of nausea clash below my heart as it desperately tries not to drown. I can't stay.

Now I'm filled with the gaping hole that you today filled and made whole. You leave me cold, dead, exposed, naked. Lay me out on the icy steel table and cut me open for examination. Do you like what you see?