03:00
When I think about never speaking to him again, I picture a girl walking in a crowd that’s all moving in the same direction, and then suddenly she drops everything she’s holding and turns around and starts running as fast as she can, smiling and pushing past everyone till finally she reaches an open space and her face looks like sunshine as her hair blows behind her in the wind and she’s free she’s free, oh God, she’s free.

03:15
But then I think about walking into a doctor’s office ten years from now and sitting on a cold metal table, staring at my legs dangling off the edge, waiting. And then I look up as the door opens slowly, not expecting to see his tattooed arms hidden in a lab coat, but there he is and, oh God, his eyes haven’t changed, and I can’t breathe, and he just stands there, looking at me like an unfinished sentence. Then I’d have to let him put a stethoscope to my chest and listen to my heart and I wonder what it’d sound like, if it would sound like messy half beats of missing him. If he’d be able to tell. If he’d care.

03:30
Or maybe the next time I see him, if I ever see him again, we’ll both be whole versions of ourselves, content and in good places, our lives all sorted out and how we always hoped they’d be. And maybe we’d be able to talk about the weather and our kids and the lives we created apart. And maybe I’d be able to look at him with only feelings of pleasant acquaintance and relative indifference, not seeing the boy I fell for when I should’ve been focused on catching myself.

03:45
And I know I should find comfort in thinking about how one day I may look at him and feel nothing,

04:00
but it’s four in the morning and I don’t want to let go.

you are a planet
                              
                           ­       but i am a star


*(i am bigger than you, i will burn your eyes out, and i do not orbit around you)

They did not die because of a nightmare.
They died because of heart attack.
Their soul left their body and  it wanders around then,
they bumped into a bad spirit and they got really scared
their body reacted to it and that was why they got a heart attack
because some were not able to go back to their own body
before it is too late and some were blessed to wake up
and thought of it as a nightmare.

“I need to talk to you.” I hate these words. Because in a nanosecond I felt nervous; uneasiness filled my heart, afraid of what you are going to say & afraid of what will happen next. These words are just like the introduction of all the stories I have read. The stories that will always end up breaking my heart.

“I don’t love you anymore.” There. I know that was the second line you are going to say. I expected that. But I guess even though how much you are prepared for the situation and how much you expect that that may cause your heartbreak, you cannot help not to be hurt so much. I did not know what to feel that time. It was a myriad emotion and inexplicable feelings, tears are falling down my face and at the same time my body suddenly feels weak. And I did not know what to do.

It seems like yesterday since you told me that you will always be here when I needed you and that we are going to see together those places we are never going through. Your lips that tell me you really love me and your eyes that can tell it is true; that you are sincere. It has been just like a storm that came in and you are that storm that suddenly destroys my whole life when you left me.

Now I finally understand why storms are named after people.

You used to be yourself
But now you're someone else
You used to be so happy
But now you're blinded
You used to be realistic
But now you're counterfeit
You used to be original
But now you're plagiarized
What happened?

///

You wrote in a book
That I will again stand up
After my death,
Where there will no sigh to fly on the autumn air

And you told me
That she will smile again
Where there will be a captivated full moon that will play with her rectangular eyes

And there will be played a long summer
That should be risen again in a mystical sweeten,
As the kissed when my love was just only sixteen

Again you said to me
After death, her beauty will never die
Where there will be a lovely haven on her lips
And her simple kiss that I will be missed through a thousand of years long

///
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

i wanted you to love me on purpose.

Im feelin low today
Not bound nor locked away

I just feel confused in my head
I just feel the urge to make you pay

Why must it be this way?
Why is it me to blame?

I like my life insane
Does it make me not okay?

When i feel this pain
I wrap myself within my brain
This place inside my mind
Where i like to hide
Where you become blind

Where i offer a sacrifice
Where i feel the peace
Where theres no need to bleed

Been bleeding way too long
I wanna show them your love
Leaving you seems so strange
I hate how the times change
Can you see into my soul?
Just show me where to go

Soon i ll be gone
These feelings will be gone...

Words Of Harfouchism