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It was a gloomy morning with mild sunlight
I opened the letter box
T’was a wedding card
A bright white with an eternity symbol in the corner
I knew the handwriting
The very pull at the end of every word
Written in well learnt cursive
*
Even their names seemed to be in sync
The made for each other kind
It was, as if,
Those two names were meant to be written side by side
With just one word in the middle
‘weds’

*

I went inside my room and shut the door
Walked to my table
Switched on my newly fixed table light
And sat with a blank sheet of paper
Wishing my life could be
As new, fresh and uncontaminated as that A4
Unlike the crumpled brown paper
Which had made its way to the bin
*
After sitting with the letter for an hour
I asked myself –
What do I write to him?
Should I ask him the cause of this invitation?
Is it a bitter revenge?
Or a way to reconcile a relationship which will
Never be the same
Trying to tamper with our situation
Was like pricking on a wound which was almost healed
Which would heal
Stop hurting me
But the scar would remain
As a reminder
Of something which taught me
How pain becomes pleasure
*
Instead,
I opened my drawer
And took out an old letter
Which held emotions of a sixteen year old lover,
Who didn’t care about my beauty or past?
Who was brave enough to write,
In that same cursive
“I love you”
With that same personal pull at the end
I poured a bit of my blood
Mixed with tears into that pouch of memories
And sealed it
And sent it
That was enough hate from a lover
On his wedding day
*Enough
Not all of us are pushed beyond words
We were,
A treat to the eyes
A myth to their lies
The silver lining of innocence
In the end of a viscious tie

We were as painfully beautiful
As the sparks that fly out of two frictional objects
Wearing and tearing the edges apart
And yet, the little fireworks show attract audience

People really do love to observe destruction
First slowly yet steadily and then,
          All at once
It's not just roses that look beautiful and yet cause pain with their thorns are touched
She loves her.

She loved her
with little rays of sunshine
and
Pitter patter tears.

Her love was like dew drops
on grass blades
on a misty morning.
Like a butterfly loitering around a little girl.
Like money on a starved beggars hand.

It was a humane love
built with
illogical trust and belief.
It was made of burnt bricks
of built up grief and an exhaustion
which comes from an eternal search
for a handful of love.

Her love was the size of her soul.
It was next to everything she would own even after death.

~~~~~~~

Sunshine
I write a word
I cut a slit
I send the message
another slit
I cry for you
One more slit
I die inside
I bleed a bit

This poem I write
Is in memory of those of times
when
Words
would
f
   l
     o
        w

from me to
- You-

and I hope you know
That with every word
every             of blood
drop

I miss you
and I miss you
and I miss you even more
There's plenty of sunlight here
With a tinge of love in every object
That you've touched
Welcome to my Utopia

Lace curtains, open windows,
A steaming cup of coffee in a gloomy afternoon,
Another cup awaits your attention ...
Welcome to my little world of expectations

Dressed up for an occasion
I'm standing in front of the mirror
My reflection awaits your complements
Welcome to my lonely world of longings

Tired eyes with smudged makeup
They need to know that they look no less beautiful
I turn to my other side
A lone tear trickles down my eye
Welcome to my world of wishful thinking

A double bed with two pillows
A single occupant
Awaiting the other one
Welcome to my world of hard realities

A broken frame with a torn picture
My hand runs down the emptiness of the captured moment
Living in the past every second
Welcome to my daily life

Sold out by my weary past and exhausted with my present
I open my cupboard and take out my old diary
I write another piece for you
Wishing that someday you realise the reasons behind them,

Welcome to a world where you belong !
This was my first poem written way back on the year 2012 ... well not that far away is it. Two years. Isn't much, is it ?
He used to be a healer
A man who would give you a boy-ish hug
And let you believe in fairies and honesty
He used to be a charmer
I knew him
I knew him not

The two of them were in love
Those two who aren’t even looking at each other
across the floor
But are aware of what they are saying
To which hand their hand finds a new warmth
I knew them
I knew them not


They used to be my family
A group of people who were
Far more dear than my own folks
We would laugh and cry together
Sharing our worries and ambitions
And dreams which would never come true

So many nights
Spent under these very stars
Who bear witness
To everyone I have met and every emotion I have felt
They know my mistake
They know that I believed everything was real
And permanent
In a life as temporary as mine
They knew I believed that when these people met me
They opened their masks and became themselves
They knew I was fooling myself
With a truth
So convincing and so delusional
That
Even I bought it
Throughout the time
Inch by inch
Through and through
You walked into my life
And strode over my feelings
Crushing
My heart
In every step
Throughout the path
You traversed
My blood marked your way
When you ran back
To the entrance
Fearing I would value you
A little too much
Scared that you would fall in love
A little too much

But Alas ain’t I the little girl?
Who had once sent a prayer up above
“Watch over him, Lord!”
And you struck me down with your words
And your actions so well constructed
And I?
Being the little girl as always
I didn’t even try
To chain you down with the fire of my love
What if it burned you down?
What then would be the remedy?
I didn’t even try
To drag you back
With snarles of seduction
Or little sweet nothings
I didn’t even try
To smoke your cigarette
And kiss your lips
To match your taste

I just watched you
Walking across
A patch of grassland
When you mistook my tears
To be
Mere dew drops


Dear darling friend of mine
Some day you will find
A star shining bright up in the sky
Beckoning you to love
Not to criticize
Dear darling love of mine
And that day you will realize
That the sparks of success raining down on you
Have already been paid for
With the life of a little girl
Who
Loved you a little too much
Who
Cared about you a little too much
Who
Let herself fall down thirty storeys
In loving memory
In French, "I miss you" isn't really said. They say Tu Me Manques which means "I am missing from you". I came across this word in tumblr while going through my feed. It is - indeed - a very intimate word and since I am detaching myself from most loved ones, I hereby say TU ME MANQUES MAYAA
Staring at you from the corner of my eye
There are hundreds seated here
Still my vision strays across the line
These feelings can't be right

It's like the moon falling in love with the sun
though they are a team, they can never be one
Love can't be my might
These feelings can't be right

Why are you so scared to look me in the eye?
I hate it when she looks at you with expectancy in her eyes
I feel like destroying the worlds for you
These feelings can't be right

I know that I'm alone in this street
Every part of myself I have left behind
Because I know that mystery will always love darkness
Though sunshine will be right by her side
My wishes just seem so "Unright"
I face the truth again -
These feelings can't be right

Now-a-days I stay away from you
When you don't look at me, that is when I look at you
When you don't hear me, I have said a thousand times
' I love you '
These feelings can't be right

Every morning when I open my eyes
And Sunshine strikes this porcelain skin from the skies
A carnage of hope is all I visualize
I roll down my sleeves to cover the scars
My reflection whispers to me
'The mirror never lies'
These feelings aren't right

I wish I'd be able to stand in front of you
And express what I exactly feel about you
But I cannot set forth in that venture
" The way is suspicious, the result uncertain, perhaps destructive."
And if you ever know about this side of me
The only thing that will come out of you will be
" These feelings can't be right "

Beyond the precincts of his eyes
Everything seems to be delusional
his eyes have the power my foes could **** for
- to rip my soul apart every minute
Every second of my life
And I'm reminded again-
These feelings can't be right

But now that I've realized
These feelings can't be right
I am sure
That today is the first day of the rest of my life ...
Hear me say || Let today be the first day of the rest of your life

— The End —