an oscillating red light
appeared in the night sky
so bright its tone of blazing
was a shooting star

How lonely I am today
Tiny speck in all
Empty immensity.

How alone am I today

Walk with me through this barren desert.
As we search for the life that was once here.
The forest that filled this land vanished
As nature left in search of better ground
Only to consume itself
Leaving behind this barren wasteland.

Although we traverse together, our hearts and minds are miles apart.

Consumed by our own thoughts
Our own pain.
It is all that can fill the emptiness of this land
We drink but thirst.
We eat but hunger.
Our agony is as filling as the void of this desert.

Mindless we walk as lost souls fill this world
Traveling with no destination
Walking this same path every day.
Our lives are consumed by this desert.
It is all we see.
It is all we know.

The first time my lips touched a cigarette,
I cringed at the taste but I ****** and puffed the toxins anyways.
smooth.
It was menthol.
I didn't know what that meant.
I didn't care.
I just wanted to be cool with my friends.
They were 14,
I was 12.
'Mature for my age'.
I had fitted in.
But was smoking that cigarette really, really worth it?
I haven't talked to those 'friends' in 6 years.

I've been through this before
But Its ok i know i will endure
I've walked through it over and over
I've created a worn footpath like a constant trekker
With my eyes closed i can navigate the heartache
I know when the pain will overtake
I know precisely when my chest will burn
Exactly when the tears will return
But i'm now excellent at stifling the sobs
I know the perfect position to curl up and stop the throbs
I am perfect at stretching my lips into that smile
The precise tone of 'i'm OK' always in line
More than that i now know how to overcome
Because my love is way to strong to be undone
My roots run deep
That ordinary storms now can't rip
Sand storms don't scare me
I'm no spring rose you see
I'm a dessert ****
Come rain come shine i'll always keep

To reassure me
You utter softly
                    "Just think of me
                     As a cookie
                     You've been dying to eat"
...
I'm nervous
My hands are shaking
When I place them on your knees

Sure
I've tasted hard lollipops before
And they were easy to take in my mouth
As my lips formed around them.

But I've never had a sugar cookie
Quite like this before
With a goddess
Quite like you

Your voice is calm
Collected
But weighed down
Over the sound of my panting
As your fingers tangle in my hair
                    "Relax"

My body twitches with excitement
Anxiety
Because I want to please you
But I don't know how

I lean forward anyway
And lick away some of the frosting
You moan
And I know you taste sweeter than ever.

I don't like the way this feels most days.
Can you believe I don't like such complexity?
Why is my affection never simple?
Never just one-sided; instead,
It's a moon with phases, with changes
Too unpredictable to pencil down.
It used to be spring tides or none at all
But I've been getting tamer ones lately.
If it does crash, it does so politely, lightly
Carressing my shore with waves of affection.

Sometimes I forget to worry.
Sometimes I forget how heavy-handed I can be,
How easily I can hurt, despite
The dulling of my edges;
And I do this for some people
My affection wants to keep.
I admit it's not the wisest thing I do.
The shackles hurt a lot more
When you jump too far,
Thinking you can make it.

Still, I wonder if that might be better.
I do not like my anxiety, but
I don't like being absentminded in this either.
I do not like not knowing, not holding
The reins of my affection, my hurricane affliction
I do not like the way this feels most days.
I do not like the thought of hurting you.
I do not like it when this moon is new
but I must say, I do like the way you want this, too.