" I do not fear the night time,
no, my fear is much beyond that,
I fear the darkness within my soul -
the unrecognisable face in the mirror. "

I can’t talk to you about this cause if I did
I would tell you that my heart is aching
and hurting so bad I just wanna rip it out
out of my chest with my own bare hands
I would tell you that I’m so depressed
that I sometimes wonder why I keep
fighting this battle with myself and I wonder
if it’ll ever stop hurting the way it does now
If we talked about this I would fall apart
and I don’t have time to fall apart cause
I’m busy holding myself together with tape and glue

*(s.m)

They say "suicide is not the option"
    
           but...
                                                 *they never give you another one..

Tired yet awake
Forced to medicate
Dreams of terror I can't escape
My only chance is to sedate
If my eyes close on their own accord
A monster's breath I've felt before
The same creature every night
I feel it's face so close to mine
What is this apparition and what does he want
To keep me awake with his evil taunts
His sadistic whispers burn my ears
From deep he summons my darkest fears
I clench my eyes and wait for dawn
When daybreak comes he will be gone
I don't know why he's chosen me
It's been years since I've had peace
I go to work like I'm alright
But I know it will be back tonight

When my demons were small
I didn't care
I let them grow

Then they started to spread
and now they are
in every corner of my head

****** your monsters
before they take you away

**** those monsters
before its to late

I lay on the floor in my room
and stare up at the ceiling fan,
I try to figure out who I am,
Who is this lost young man?

I live a life with no direction or conviction,
Only the demons of my own affliction,

My own self-loathing married my self-doubt
And let loose my darker half,
Dragging my mind into the darkness,
Imprisoning me in the mistakes of my past,

And so I don't know what to do
To escape my prison and move on,
How do I move forward
When everything I do is wrong?

Purpose has eluded me,
Confidence has fled,
My will deminishes,
My heart almost dead.

In all the ways I can imagine
In all the ways I can see
I'm lost inside the darkness
A place of nihility,

A void,
An emptiness,
A lethe within me,
My oblivion sea.