ive been trying you know
ive been trying to forget you
that first hello
i wish it was a dream
that you never existed, no faults to redeem.

ive been trying to pretend
that this would be a fairytale in the end.

a reality i keep trying to accept
but when your face intercepts

memories flashback and everything that has been.
and it cuts like a blade in my skin
leaving all the scars and mind numbing pain.

you're an angel in disguise
you were using your innocent eyes
but now i realized
everything was a huge lie.

what i want is to drown you in my pain
while you're screaming my name

all i want is for you to show the fear you hide
while im there crushing your pride.

all i want is to feed you to a crocodile
and take away those smile

what i want is to forget about you
cause im tired of feeling blue

i want to repair the broken promises
and turn it into pure bliss

you asked what do i want this time
if i say "you"
would you consider that as a crime?

suicide
anxiety
anorexia
misery
depression
loneliness
hopelessnes­s
cuts
they are a serious matter
a serious thing
serious stuff.
serious serious serious
people die because of those stuff
why make fun of it?
why lie about it?
why act like you have it?
why brag about it?
why call it stupidity?
why act like you're one of them?
why act, why pretend?

You're lying to us.. to me..
and most of all
to yourself..

*well, welcome me to your world of lies..
not the lies that you're happy.
but the lies in where you act like you're full of misery...

theres this girl
she always feel alone
its like she wished
she was never  born

she always get bullied
but she didnt expect that someone will stand up for her

he's always there for her
they laugh together
and she think she feels happy
first time in forever.

she let go of the knife
because shes already having the time of her life
she also dreamt about becoming his wife

but another girl entered the story
and the new girl tries to steal the guy from her
its like her life now is full of misery
a misery she'll never forget,  no more glory.

the guy left her, and slowly, and slowly
she's alone again, she's again full of melancholy

after days
she tried to stay
at the back of the room
when she left, she saw the guy
and the girl... fighting.
the girl was begging the guy to stay
but the guy said no.

she had a chance to follow the guy
she grabbed his hands and hugged him
she asked him what the problem is
he said nothing
but she know there is something

i want to know why you left me
she asked
the guy looked at her with a concerned eyes...
and she heard the words she didnt expect to hear..

i did that to keep you safe from harm, because i love you.

and the sadpart is...
thats the last word she heard from the guy

and they never get to get along again.
maybe thats just life...
full of pain.

because of you
i've learned to love my scars
watching you from afar
standing on stage with your guitars
while I'm just here wishing and hoping on a star
that you would finally notice me.
and just grab me in your arms
andwith me, make a memory jar.
i heard your song, the only reason.
right now, i wanna be the reason
why you love the season
and i want to be the reason
why you shine like a beacon.
every time i see your smile
i' stop for a while
and  just stay there and make everything worthwhile
and finally say
hey this guy is the reason why i stay
each and every day.

i know that would happen
but i end up tryin
now look, im all in pain.

im like a feather
flying and scattered
anywhere, and everywhere.

i dont know why
but right now all i wanna do is fly
maybe to be free
and maybe to feel and see
what freedom looks like

its funny how i can only write this
when im feeling down like this
and its funny how no one will
ever be able to understand
how i freaking feel.