I’ve been trying for several months
to write you a letter

Not for lack of dialogue;
I lacked the letters to simply compose.

A letter of love.

A letter of respite.

& yet, here, I write:

a letter of extrinsic motivations
&
a letter of intrinsic fulfillment

Tears of joy, tears of the beauty of love, tears of dreams and wishes for the future, tears for genuine hearts, tears for the bond that is needed for anything to be so powerful like this

I will whisper into a heart sewn shut.
My wishes and dreams so that this fabric
resonates with the ineffables of our love.
I'll hope that with every brush against stitched fabric, the wish is brought to life.

A small, simple wish: that the one I love,
whose claim is
my best,
most truest friend,
will feel that wave of intensely genuine passion.
vibrations channeled to a physical symbol
in hopes these wishes
deliberately
resound so that may she ever-
for the briefest of movements-
listen in to this seashell of a heart,
right in the uprush to experience:

a grandiosity the universe envies,
this galactic ocean of appreciation
born from a kaleidoscope of raindrops;
collected and formed from essences of you;

a soft, single wave to break upon her most delicate shore, feeling your toes in the tide.

I wage war for your embrace
I have said my peace
So shut me up with your darling kisses
Calm my storms fury upon your shores with your gentle touch
End my tornado of chaos and emotional turmoil with your warm breath
Riposte my fresh forged sword with your r&r; concern
Tame my lightning with your smooth body
Stop my earthquakes with your pristine soul
End my fires with the flame you have for me

There's times I wish I could rhyme
Write a poem and sing all the lines
I can't imagine a verse with more strength
Than the undulations from a varicose heart.
I have given you every thud in me.
I don't want you to think. This is anymore than a simple statement.
Something easy and needs not another repeat.
Maybe I can keep this neat:
Tell me your hopes and dreams
Your fears and secrets
I wanna hear your innermost, your deepests.
I should clarify. I don't want to hear.
I want to bear. I
want to bear upon your truths.
Maybe you can then attest, that I am here
for the rest of you,
we.
I don't strive to be the best
for just you and me.

I strengthen and climb
because what else is there to do with time?

Tell me your favorite of the virtues and sins
Tell me the worst of both
I want you to show
me your lock and key.
Because I am envy.
I am pride.
I am greed.
Oh, but I am not sloth and the other three?
Is this really
me
you are conversing with?

I am all these things, and I
have shed the past toxins off me.
I have never been one for anger.

I have been diligent
in honing my patience;
I've become a certain sort of chaste.

My dear, you see,
you took a bite right out of me.
An apple that was so sweet:
Innocent skin and a refreshing flesh.

A shame really,
What's left is my bitter core.
But before you throw me out.
You should know there's a little more.

Within there are locked, opaque,
not so empty shells.
There's a secret in them.
And maybe, I could let you know.
How to open those potential doors.

Harvest and protect in a sanctuary.
Care and nourish.
Be patient and see the potential.
Maybe, in a few weeks you'll see what they've formed.
Better yet, a few years, with proper TLC;
you'll see,
that out of the darkness grew
something beyond saccharine.

But dear, why tell me your deceits?
I already broke my seals,
and it's a beauty to be real.
So vulnerable and I see the light.
Oh no, not one of life.
But something worth following towards Thanatos.

Death of what we both thought had been me.
I am already reborn
from a recipe of grandeur.
Something more complex
than just a fruit from a tree.
Something with deep
established roots,
an unrelenting body,
with a grasp upon the skies.
I will forever ventilate and grow.
The end point from here
is no longer very clear.

I just know one thing:
speak to me,
let me hear
your inner sea

whether turmoil or calm,
I will always thirst for your endless waters.
to know where your waves crash,
to know the moon that pulls your soul,
to know the pulses that ruminate from your depths.

Your voice is the orchestra
I wish to listen to
while I chase the sky.

I need a vacation.

Maybe a trip to Italy.

I gotta revitalize.

Maybe, Pompeii.

I am feeling starved of my vim and vigor.
My words are lukewarm.

There is only one option:
rekindling my virility.

I could vivify myself vicariously:
the sensuality of the city's verve,
all the daily livings of people,
venerated in an intense blaze;
might make me vivacious again.

Input daily routine.
Output socially valued norms.

My vivid, vermillion passion
has been layered with ashes.

I am desperate for veracity.
Did my igneous, poetic life temper
to an obsidian verse?

The beat in my heart
has felt industrialized,
monotonous,
a steady assembly line of chaste gray;
a vexing variance of my vitals.
Revive me: my virtuosity
will ventilate me with
venereal voraciousness.

What is left to me,
a choice of perspective:
a plunge in to the devouring,
a dive in to the radiant;
both, a swim through a viscous sea of wildfire
in Mount Vesuvius.

I heard an uppy jingle behind me
and my long tired feet told me
they could make it to the street's song.
I glided past
clouds of sugar with a glimmer
in my eye,
pain forging with each stride.
Childhood was only a few moments behind.

With a tensing of lashes tight,
tired soles left
caramel kisses exploring
dense sweet air.

Thousands of fireflies synchronized together.
a tangible magic
flew through the energetic night.
I was hypnotized.

There was babies' laughter,
to my right,
and, to my left,
a group of seven year olds.

A blue ribbon strewn through the air
preventing eager children
from joining the dance
of man-made insects
on cars lacking drivers.

With a similar gaze of innocence,
I sat beside them with crossed legs.
Enchanted,
bewildered,
awed,
my heart sung with every song.

I saw a princess dawned
on a brilliance of blue,
her steps
graceful and light.
An unwavering smile strewn on her lips.

I was stung by fairy tale's
enchanted kiss.
And then I saw:
true beauty;
like a dove,
natural,
organic,
pure.

My one and only was smiling above.
I ushered for her to join me
lost in childhoods last glory.
She took my hand
and I stood with her,
I left with a world to be unfurled.